20pence Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 Hi guys If you don't know my story, we were together for 3 years, broke up technically in January/March, been NC for almost 2 months... When he ended it (due to months of disagreements), yes I was upset, but completely respected his decision, begged a little, cried a lot but apart from that I just respected his decision. We didn't have a fight or anything. When i told my ex about how i needed NC, he was upset, asked me not to, i'm still his best friend etc etc, but eventually he respected my needs. I posted a thread about how I got a very cold message from him yesterday, asking for money I owe him for the gym payment last month. I replied yesterday saying that of course, I will put the money into my account asap, I hope he's well. I've received two messages from him today - one saying "Hi. Put money in my account today. Need it." & another just now "Put it in yet? If not do it now." I know that he owes me no kindness, but then again things ended amicably...and when I told him of my need of NC two months ago he was genuinly upset. Now he messages me with a coldness I have never known. I also know that it's for the best, because if he'd sent me lovely, kind messages asking for the money I would have read too much into it or something. Lastly, I'm not angry about the way he's talking to me, it's not his fault that he's healed quicker then me, that's life. So I don't really know, I just think i'm a little hurt that i treated the break up so well, as did he so there's no need to be so cold towards me...I feel like our time together was worth nothing. Just a little rant. G x Link to comment
DN Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 Did he ask for the money before this and have you put the money in the account? Link to comment
20pence Posted July 12, 2011 Author Share Posted July 12, 2011 No. He literally just asked for the money yesterday, when he received the bill and I put the money in this lunch time. G Link to comment
DN Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 Maybe he is under the gun for money and was panicking. No excuse for that behaviour but it may explain it. Link to comment
hello678 Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 Its funny how once someone decides they no longer want to be your partner they quickly turn from a nice caring respectable person to a mean, distant, short, passive aggressive coward. Personally in my few breakups over the years even when they have ended and we've stopped talking to eachother i'll always be nice like I would any other person when I end up communicating with them. Were as they are often rather rude and seem like they would prefer you didn't exist. I don't understand it either. Link to comment
20pence Posted July 12, 2011 Author Share Posted July 12, 2011 Maybe he is under the gun for money and was panicking. No excuse for that behaviour but it may explain it. I get what you're saying and that would make sense but before the break up, every month when i'd send him the gym money regardless of how skint and stressed he was regarding money, his messages would always be nice. E.g "Please can you put the money in my account when you get a chance? The bill came today xx" ...ah well. Thank you for your post Link to comment
iBroken Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 I dont see how he is being cruel. He is looking for money that you owe him based on a previous agreement. Did you agree on a regular deposit day? Perhaps his messages are short cause he is busy? Maybe he feels awkward about this all. I dont see any cruelty here. You are no longer together and arent even friends. What were you looking for? An xoxo after every text? An pity "How are you?" A simple "Fine" in response to your text? Link to comment
DN Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 "Hi. Put money in my account today. Need it." & another just now "Put it in yet? If not do it now." These message are abrupt and rude, as if you had not paid and had no intention of paying. It would not have hurt him to at least put a 'please' in there somewhere. Link to comment
20pence Posted July 12, 2011 Author Share Posted July 12, 2011 I dont see how he is being cruel. He is looking for money that you owe him based on a previous agreement. Did you agree on a regular deposit day? Perhaps his messages are short cause he is busy? Maybe he feels awkward about this all. I dont see any cruelty here. You are no longer together and arent even friends. What were you looking for? An xoxo after every text? An pity "How are you?" A simple "Fine" in response to your text? No, not at all - if you don't think they're rude then that's fair enough, I just thought adding a please at the end or something polite wouldn't have gone a miss. Considering when I asked for NC i told him "I'm so sorry, i need space to heal right now but in the future, hopefully we'll be able to be friends. I'd like that." And we parted with a cliche hug, i regard his messages as rude and unlike him. We didn't have a regular deposit day, he's usually just ask me to put the money in when he received the bill. Link to comment
donpeel83 Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 I dont see how he is being cruel. He is looking for money that you owe him based on a previous agreement. Did you agree on a regular deposit day? Perhaps his messages are short cause he is busy? Maybe he feels awkward about this all. I dont see any cruelty here. You are no longer together and arent even friends. What were you looking for? An xoxo after every text? An pity "How are you?" A simple "Fine" in response to your text? Whilst i understand your point, and agree to it to some degree, i think a small helping of manners isnt too hard to muster. As DN said, just adding please makes it all the more better. It could be that this guy is botter about something, but I dont know. Link to comment
East4 Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 my take on the situation is that he's pissed of the NC that you imposed on him, and he's deliberately rude to you in an attempt to punish you. Typical petty passive-aggresive nonsense. Of course if you call him on this, he will deny it, but inside his heart he will be happy he made it to hurt you. Why don't you make a standing order at the bank, so that you do not have to deal with his stupid messages every month. This would kick him in the teeth and cut all possibilities for him to be rude. Link to comment
magnoliatree Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 my take on the situation is that he's pissed of the NC that you imposed on him, and he's deliberately rude to you in an attempt to punish you. Typical petty passive-aggresive nonsense. Of course if you call him on this, he will deny it, but inside his heart he will be happy he made it to hurt you. Why don't you make a standing order at the bank, so that you do not have to deal with his stupid messages every month. This would kick him in the teeth and cut all possibilities for him to be rude. I totally agree with East4. NC sometimes makes some people very hostile, in my experience. Link to comment
thejigsup Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 I don't think he was rude, short and to the point, yes, but rude? No way. He kept it business like and didn't add any chit chat. Seems like he is serious about respecting your wishes for NC. I would be thankful. Link to comment
DN Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 I think ordering someone about like that is definitely rude. Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 Eminem captures it best......... You ever love somebody so much You can barely breathe When you're with them You meet And neither one of you Even know what hit 'em Got that warm fuzzy feeling Yeah them chills Used to get 'em Now you're getting f**king sick Of looking at 'em You swore you've never hit 'em Never do nothing to hurt 'em Now you're in each other's face Spewing venom And these words When you spit 'em You push Pull each other's hair Scratch, claw, bit 'em Throw 'em down Pin 'em So lost in the moments When you're in 'em It's the rage that took over It controls you both So they say it's best To go your separate ways Guess that they don't know ya Cause today That was yesterday Yesterday is over Link to comment
motleylou Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 I don't know why they act that way,but my ex gf is the same way. When she broke up with me, we still talked a few times for the next 2 weeks and even met up exchange some things. It was the weirdest thing, if anyone was going to be upset it should of been me(she cheated on me). But she was the cold distant one, I was just trying to be civil and nice because I'm never going to get back with her and figured it doesn't hurt to be nice when we see each other. The way she acted towards me was like I was the one that cheated on her. In your situation, I would just stay polite, short one word responses and then try and get out of that gym payment asap. I would hate to still have to communicate with my ex. Just don't give into their petty bs, they want you to get mad and get some reaction our of you. The best way to get back is to just be short and polite, it will kill them to see that you're being nice because it shows that your indifferent to them now and aren't going to let them get under your skin. Link to comment
donpeel83 Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 Exactly, take the moral high ground. Keep your dignity and its a sure fire way to piss them off. Link to comment
hausser Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 my take on the situation is that he's pissed of the NC that you imposed on him, and he's deliberately rude to you in an attempt to punish you. Typical petty passive-aggresive nonsense. Of course if you call him on this, he will deny it, but inside his heart he will be happy he made it to hurt you. Why don't you make a standing order at the bank, so that you do not have to deal with his stupid messages every month. This would kick him in the teeth and cut all possibilities for him to be rude. Agreed also. And the messages were definatley rude. Link to comment
LN1987 Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 Eminem captures it best......... You ever love somebody so much You can barely breathe When you're with them You meet And neither one of you Even know what hit 'em Got that warm fuzzy feeling Yeah them chills Used to get 'em Now you're getting f**king sick Of looking at 'em You swore you've never hit 'em Never do nothing to hurt 'em Now you're in each other's face Spewing venom And these words When you spit 'em You push Pull each other's hair Scratch, claw, bit 'em Throw 'em down Pin 'em So lost in the moments When you're in 'em It's the rage that took over It controls you both So they say it's best To go your separate ways Guess that they don't know ya Cause today That was yesterday Yesterday is over when things were getting rotten with my ex... This song would always get to me as I knew what was coming... Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.