bfla Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 As expected, and announced on facebook* this evening, Rachel has a boyfriend just shy of 4 months into our BU. OK, I cried a little bit. That's why everyone on here tells you to delete FB. Heed the advice. I never have and probably never will because I'm too stubborn. I'm really tired of dealing with these emotions. * seriously, just delete them you guys Link to comment
magnoliatree Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 Aww. I really think that you should delete now. You are only hurting yourself. Link to comment
bfla Posted July 12, 2011 Author Share Posted July 12, 2011 Still waiting, lest it be obvious that she got a rise out of me. Link to comment
Snowy Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 No need to delete your facebook. Just block her and some mutual friends where neccesary. Link to comment
SicFounder Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 There's never any point in keeping an ex that you miss very much on fb while they have clearly moved on. It's only going to effect you. Block and continue your life. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 As expected, and announced on facebook* this evening, Rachel has a boyfriend just shy of 4 months into our BU. OK, I cried a little bit. That's why everyone on here tells you to delete FB. Heed the advice. I never have and probably never will because I'm too stubborn. I'm really tired of dealing with these emotions. Nothing to do with being stubborn but, refusing to let go and be self-destructive. Nothing gained from this, and you're placing yourself in victim-mode. Move on! It feels much better! Link to comment
magnoliatree Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 Still waiting, lest it be obvious that she got a rise out of me. Who cares about what she thinks? Do what's best for you and put yourself and your feelings first here. Delete her from your list. Link to comment
bfla Posted July 12, 2011 Author Share Posted July 12, 2011 Alright well, for those of you who don't know me, check out my post history. I've been thru this with Rachel back in 2008. She went on the rebound and I rode it out. Not trying to live life as a rerun here but, I have blocked her from my news feed for now at least. Link to comment
Robin2904 Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 Please delete her. Or deactivate your page, or something. No good can come of it trust me. The only thing I EVER did right in my break up was delete and block him FIRST thing. It prevented me from going through A LOT of pain. I knew I could never take seeing him on there talking to other girls, finding out he was with someone else. He was mad about it, but I did it for ME. That is why I have resisted the urge to be friends with him at this point in time. I can't do it to myself. You said you have been through this before. She rebounded and then came back. Then if she will do the same again then she will come back regardless of you being FB friends with her. You need to think about YOU. Seeing this isn't good for your emotions. You need to think about you first. Please listen to everyone here. FB is the devil when it comes to stuff like this. Link to comment
Danny77 Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 Wait a few days then block her nice and smooth. Sorry you left it too late BTW. I blocked recently and the only thing making me not unblock is the fear of what I may find one day. Just like you found! Stuborness comes at a price hey. Nevermind buddy.... LET THIS BE A LESSON TO ALL YOU WHO ARE WONDERING IF YOU SHOULD BLOCK THEM. Link to comment
Danny77 Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 Who cares about what she thinks? Do what's best for you and put yourself and your feelings first here. Delete her from your list. He cares what she thinks.... He doesn't wanna add extra injury of her thinking he acted impulsivley due to her as that'll make him feel worse than he already does. Give it a few days then block and don't look back. Link to comment
bfla Posted July 12, 2011 Author Share Posted July 12, 2011 Been trying to convince myself for months already. Heh Link to comment
jackofall Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 I don't know if this is half-assed or not, but you can always just hide their posts if you don't want to trigger anything negative in their minds by totally "defriending" them. I myself haven't done this yet but I simply have the will power not to log into Facebook these days (I was never big into it aside from her getting me into it when we dated). At the beginning of my little depression I'd check and see if she posted anything just to see if she was sitting at home that night, then gradually got away from it. Made the mistake of scrolling around looking for her posts a few days ago, now I'm done. It's just not worth it. If you don't have the will power to just ignore FB then at least hide their posts. If you've really got it bad then I guess defriend them. I'm not doing that though because it's just going to cause unnecessary drama/resentment towards me. Link to comment
hausser Posted July 12, 2011 Share Posted July 12, 2011 Yeah block dude an any close people to her who are your friends or I assure you you will look through their photos etc for a glimpse of whats she's doing. Loads of us here have had the experience you've had and it sucks. I knew for weeks before I officially found out, but getting confirmation sucks as that last jigsaw puzzle about why they arent maing effort, why they arent ringing, texting etc all becomes crystal clear. Link to comment
bfla Posted July 13, 2011 Author Share Posted July 13, 2011 I already had her blocked on the News Feed. Unfortunately my friend didn't and I was at his house ](*,) Link to comment
swann Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 I haven't blocked or defriended her yet myself. Been thinking I'll ride it out if I can but hiding the news feeds sounds like a great idea. How does one do that? Question? Since she hasn't blocked or defriended me what does that say? She was the dumper. Not that I post anything really but she could just click me away but hasn't yet. Been in NC for over 7 weeks now. Just curious how the dumpee's might see this issue with FB? Thanks Link to comment
bfla Posted July 13, 2011 Author Share Posted July 13, 2011 I haven't blocked or defriended her yet myself. Been thinking I'll ride it out if I can but hiding the news feeds sounds like a great idea. How does one do that? Question? Since she hasn't blocked or defriended me what does that say? She was the dumper. Not that I post anything really but she could just click me away but hasn't yet. Been in NC for over 7 weeks now. Just curious how the dumpee's might see this issue with FB? Thanks Options link at the bottom of the News Feed. Link to comment
Brownstone322 Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 As expected, and announced on facebook* this evening, Rachel has a boyfriend just shy of 4 months into our BU. Please catch me up. Did you and she breakup in the spring of 2008? What have I missed? ... Link to comment
bfla Posted July 14, 2011 Author Share Posted July 14, 2011 Please catch me up. Did you and she breakup in the spring of 2008? What have I missed? ... We broke up in May 2008. She rebounded. We got back together a few months later and we were together until March of this year. She changed her relationship status on Facebook Monday night. Not sure whether or not to call it another rebound, not that it really makes a difference. Link to comment
Brownstone322 Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 We broke up in May 2008. She rebounded. We got back together a few months later and we were together until March of this year. She changed her relationship status on Facebook Monday night. Not sure whether or not to call it another rebound, not that it really makes a difference. Wow, bumpy road. What went wrong this time? And doesn't the timing seem to suggest that, rather than a rebound, that she might have left you for this guy? That changes everything. Link to comment
tresqua Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 And doesn't the timing seem to suggest that, rather than a rebound, that she might have left you for this guy? That changes everything. I'm not seeing a difference. Link to comment
bfla Posted July 14, 2011 Author Share Posted July 14, 2011 Wow, bumpy road. What went wrong this time? And doesn't the timing seem to suggest that, rather than a rebound, that she might have left you for this guy? That changes everything. The first rebound guy she met online after we broke up. This guy, I don't know, but probably the same since she went back on the same site. I have it on good authority that she didn't leave me for anyone else... plus it was nearly 4 months ago, so I don't see why she'd hide it that long. Nah, that's not what this is. As for what went wrong.... hell, hard to say, read my older threads I guess. (Trying not to dredge that stuff up inside) Link to comment
BONO Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 My ex broke up with me 6 weeks ago, I said no to friends. Im moving on as much as I can but she has *blocked* me off FB and told her friends to take me off as well. Link to comment
Brownstone322 Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 I'm not seeing a difference. It would seem to be self-explanatory, but I'll describe the difference anyway ... The classic "rebound" refers to taking up with someone new shortly after leaving a relationship. It's probably an emotional response to the breakup, kinda like eating "comfort food" in a period of stress. There's nothing "wrong" with "rebounding" -- the "rebounder" would be single, after all -- but the roots of the new relationship might not be so deep. More to the point, a "rebound" is a result of the original breakup, not a cause. In contrast, leaving a relationship for someone else constitutes crass opportunism, and it entails some form of infidelity (at least emotional, maybe the real thing). It's a primary cause of a breakup, and it incurs damage that could probably never be reconciled. Most of us are reasonable people, and most of us are willing to work out conflicts. But few of us are willing to make peace with someone who specifically and willfully left for another person. Link to comment
tresqua Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 ^^ Ok got it. Thanks. I agree with and I am aware of the discreet definitions, in this particular case it wasn't clear to me that this was what actually happened. I guess I could have posted "In this case I'm not seeing it as anything other than a rebound". Link to comment
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