What helped you grow?

[gingerlemon]

Since the topic here is personal growth, I thought maybe members would like to share things that have helped them grow personally. Here are a few things that have been really important for me:

 

- Yoga, meditation and physical exercise. I had to learn the hard way how connected mental health and strength is to physical health. I'm still not great at maintaining good routines over time, but I try to use these things actively and it makes such a great difference when I get it right over time.

 

- Counselling. This has been really, really beneficial for me, especially in situations where I didn't feel I could share anything with others around me.

 

- Role models. I've had some great role models in my life. Some have been teachers, others colleagues, and some have been friends. A lot of them have been quite a bit older than me. I've learned so much from several of them and also found a lot of inspiration in those kind of people.

 

- Quitting cigarettes and alcohol. It was so liberating and has done a world of good for me.

 

So that's some of the things that have really helped me towards becoming a healthier human being. How about you?

[Kitkat973]

Acceptance.

 

I've spent the majority of my life in an abusive situation, and when I got out, I assumed that meant that everything would be fine. It wasn't.

 

It took me years to learn that I cannot force myself to be normal or healthy just by wanting it, and that I have to accept who and what I am, and what happened to me, and move forward from there. There are many things I cannot do, but if I spend every day focused on the feeling that I SHOULD be able to do those things, I accomplish nothing.

 

ETA: Congratulations on quitting smoking. I know from experience how horrible that is to do, and that's a huge accomplishment that you should be proud of.

[gingerlemon]

Acceptance.

 

I've spent the majority of my life in an abusive situation, and when I got out, I assumed that meant that everything would be fine. It wasn't.

 

It took me years to learn that I cannot force myself to be normal or healthy just by wanting it, and that I have to accept who and what I am, and what happened to me, and move forward from there. There are many things I cannot do, but if I spend every day focused on the feeling that I SHOULD be able to do those things, I accomplish nothing.

 

ETA: Congratulations on quitting smoking. I know from experience how horrible that is to do, and that's a huge accomplishment that you should be proud of.

 

Acceptance, yeah that's such an important part of getting through life. I'm so sorry to hear what you've gone through, but I'm glad to hear you're moving forward. Best of luck to you

 

Yes, quitting smoking was an accomplishment. I'm glad you did it, too (?). I found that the trick was to view it as liberation, rather than deprivation. After that, there was no turning back.

[Kitkat973]

Acceptance, yeah that's such an important part of getting through life. I'm so sorry to hear what you've gone through, but I'm glad to hear you're moving forward. Best of luck to you

 

Yes, quitting smoking was an accomplishment. I'm glad you did it, too (?). I found that the trick was to view it as liberation, rather than deprivation. After that, there was no turning back.

 

Thank you.

 

And yeah, I quit when I was sixteen. It was hell. The hardest part is maintenance- even though I know it's horrible for my health, whenever I get stressed I want to go right back to the pack. You'd think seven years would be enough...

[bichin]

Finding a natural substitute for a prescription mood stabilizer. Clearer thinking leads to leaps in personal growth.

[gingerlemon]

Kitkat: I've heard of people going back after ten and fifteen years. It's such a powerful addiction. Have you read the Allen Carr book? It really helped me (and many others I know).

[gingerlemon]

Finding a natural substitute for a prescription mood stabilizer. Clearer thinking leads to leaps in personal growth.

 

Interesting. Do you mind if I ask what you took? I'm on ADs at the moment.

[Kitkat973]

I've heard of people going back after ten and fifteen years. It's such a powerful addiction. Have you read the Allen Carr book? It really helped me (and many others I know).

 

I haven't. When the cravings get too bad I just try to remind myself of the fact that I have asthma and COPD and that if I can't stand beside someone wearing cheap perfume, thinking I can pull smoke into my lungs and not have an attack is pure nonsense.

[gingerlemon]

Oh, you really should try it. Seriously. Cravings evaporated! The cover looks cheesy but it's actually very good.

[Blue Skittles]

Friends - I am blessed that i have some great friends in my life, and family, that are there for me through good times and bad times. When I was going through a break-up they made me laugh (SOOO MUCH!) and genuinely showed how much they cared for me. So much, that it took me literally no time to get over the break-up.

 

Keeping myself busy - excercising (swimming, biking, yoga, walking) working (I love my job) and shopping!

 

Booking a vacation by myself

 

Writing

 

Church - growing closer to God made me realize how important my faith is and I'm lucky i have a very special friend "my guiding light" to help me grow in this area too.

[gingerlemon]

I should have added friends, too. I am not close to my family at all so my friends literally are my family. They mean a lot to me.

 

LOL at shopping I therapy shopped some books the other day. One was a personal growth book so that's my excuse!

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Adversity and disappointment in my life has helped me grow.

[MissSMcc]

my daughter- i had her when i was 15, in a physically abusive relationship and my mum had moved to england, my dad was in russia working, leaving me living with him. i felt very scared and alone. but having her gave me something to fight for, and made me stand up for myself. now im a single parent and my daughter is 10 years old, and we're doing fine

education- going to college and having knowledge gives me confidence and pride. being a geek rules!

working- i work as a care assistant in a residential nursing home for the elderly. this gives me a sense of responsibility and huge pride knowing my actions do real good and make a difference to the lives of others.

music- this is my personal comfort. my taste is quite different (heavy metal) but it can be very positive and uplifting, when someone can put how i am feeling into words like that, it makes me feel less alone.

all in all, i have had a hard start to adulthood, but i'm growing and finding strength and doing good where i can, and i have many years to go.

[drake89]

I'd say writing in a sense

[Seraphim]

1. Having a very hard childhood helped me develop my very deep sense of empathy.

2. Moving all the time when I was young improved my social skills and made me more flexible and taught me a lot about my own country.

3. Dealing with a mentally ill father has made me more patient and understanding of mental illness

4. Overcoming addiction on my own...I stopped smoking 25 years ago, I beat an opiate addiction on my own 4 times, I beat alcohol on my own.

5. Becoming a mother has taught me more than I could ever dream of in almost every capacity.

6. Joining the army taught me I was tougher physically and mentally than I could ever dream of, all I had to do was dig deeper and deeper.

7. Meeting a close friend who taught me the world is bigger and more interesting than I know and to pay attention cause things are not always what they seem.

8. God, my deeper and deeper relationship with him has brought me to deeper love and peace.

9. Losing 4 children has taught me you have to LIVE life, do not wait.

10. Having my son taught me there is no deeper love EVER, than loving your child, it is bigger than the universe.

[gingerlemon]

Wow, that's really impressive about you bringing up your daughter on your own at such a young age. Kudos to you. And I'm totally with you on the geek thing

 

 

 

As in, writing diaries or fiction and things like that?

 

 

 

Oh my. I've read your other posts and thinking you must be a very strong person, but that is really a lot to have had to deal with. I can't imagine what it is like to have lost four children. I'm very impressed by your attitude to life. Respect to you.

 

 

 

Co-signed, for sure.

[Seraphim]

Oh thank you.

 

I think one of the hardest, things I have learned to cope with and I can not say got over because there is no such thing, was the physical,emotional and sexual abuse I suffered as a child. It taught me that I am a survivor above all. That I have the courage to keep picking myself up and to keep going no matter what is handed my way.

 

The other thing is my son's disabilities, that has taught me a lot about courage too. His and mine.

[Jetta]

I would say what helped me grow most was a college education. I'm not sure I grew much during those times of adversity in my life, in some ways I feel they regressed me. It took self development to gather my strength and grow into a person that is beneficial to society.

[gingerlemon]

Yes, I feel that especially the three years I spent doing my undergraduate degree were extremely formative for me, I think they've really shaped my outlook on life in so many ways, not only through the formal instruction and reading but also through the people I met. It was a special time that I'm really grateful for.