Getting bored/frustrated

[Cesca]

Ok so the honeymoon period is definitely over! We've been together for almost 2 years now and at first everything was lovely and rosy and perfect, but for the past few months everything he does is annoying me. I feel bored (we live together and have become slightly like an old married couple) and as this is my longest relationship I don't know if this is the next step that we just have to work through, or what. I know I still love him and we had a fight earlier this week which led to us nearly breaking up. It wasn't until then that I realised how heartbroken I'd be if we did break up, so I'm not totally sure what I'm asking here. I guess what I really want to know is if this is normal, does it mean the end or is it something every couple has to work through? My friends are all single which in a way makes me jealous and also means I can't really ask them about this.

I have told him that I was starting to get bored of our routine but it didn't really change anything, I'm almost certain that in his mind we're still in the honeymoon period.

[Blue Skittles]

This is completely normal in a relationship. I know its happened to myself and to a lot of other people. I unfortunately, haven't made it PAST this stage so I don't know if my advice will be the best. I DO think if you are feeling bored then you need to take it upon yourself to find new activities and interests. Take up a new hobby or a new sport. Maybe there is even something you two can do together? I don't know, like tennis or swimming or something. Booking a nice trip somewhere always helps too, even if it is just a weekend road trip together. Anyways, don't rely on only HIM for your entertainment, you have to find that within yourself and then perhaps bring it to the relationship.

[blackhawks1287]

This is completely normal in a relationship. I know its happened to myself and to a lot of other people. I unfortunately, haven't made it PAST this stage so I don't know if my advice will be the best. I DO think if you are feeling bored then you need to take it upon yourself to find new activities and interests. Take up a new hobby or a new sport. Maybe there is even something you two can do together? I don't know, like tennis or swimming or something. Booking a nice trip somewhere always helps too, even if it is just a weekend road trip together. Anyways, don't rely on only HIM for your entertainment, you have to find that within yourself and then perhaps bring it to the relationship.

 

Do not take up new hobbies without him. If you start to explore things by yourself...then your perception of yourself and the people you meet with these new hobbies will be you as a single person. You will be without him and around people that will see you without him.

 

True you do not have to rely on him for your happiness and entertainment. But do not go off and make new friends and a new life for yourself outside the relationship...this will drift you apart...read uncoupling...trust me.

 

You two need to find NEW things to do TOGETHER...not start doing things independently...bring a new atmosphere to your relationship and rediscover your love, and discover new things to do together.

[Kitkat973]

I disagree with the statement that you shouldn't take up new hobbies without him. It's important in any relationship for people to have things that they pursue separately.

 

A certain degree of independence is necessary for a healthy, fulfilling relationship.

[Stay_home]

Try to set aside at least 1-2 days a week that you two can do something together that's different. Try new restaraunts. Hit the beach on the weekend, go for a hike. Do something. Anything can become boring after a while if it's all in routine.

[blackhawks1287]

I disagree with the statement that you shouldn't take up new hobbies without him. It's important in any relationship for people to have things that they pursue separately.

 

A certain degree of independence is necessary for a healthy, fulfilling relationship.

 

TRUE, but when you start to encounter new social circles, and you are already bored with your current guy, that is when opportunity comes knocking and could in fact push her further away.

 

She can do things by herself, but to put herself in a position where other will find her alone and seemingly single will only empower her. People will desire her, and pursue her...even in a platonic sense and this will only help her realize "what she is missing"

 

Two sided coin is right...it is not only up to him...but up to her as well to FIX this internally...not externally.

[Cesca]

Thanks for the advice! I like the idea of doing something new a couple of times a week, that'll definitely make things more interesting. As for taking up new hobbies only TOGETHER, I don't see how that would do us good, we live together, it's nice to get out on your own and do something for you. It's not like I wouldn't tell new friends about him and I don't want to end up in the situation of being without those friends or hobbies if we did break up.

[Cesca]

TRUE, but when you start to encounter new social circles, and you are already bored with your current guy, that is when opportunity comes knocking and could in fact push her further away.

 

She can do things by herself, but to put herself in a position where other will find her alone and seemingly single will only empower her. People will desire her, and pursue her...even in a platonic sense and this will only help her realize "what she is missing"

 

Two sided coin is right...it is not only up to him...but up to her as well to FIX this internally...not externally.

 

a valid point but I think part of my problem is that I NEED to get out and do things myself. You appreciate someone more when you spend time apart and I'm not bored of him, I'm bored of our routine, sorry if I didn't make that clear

[Kitkat973]

Is there a community college in your area? If so, check out the not-for-credit courses they have.