2 years, a separation, and trying to work things out

[emilysee]

We've been together two years. He left a ten year marriage to be with me. We moved in together, but he didn't want to remarry. I struggled with that all two years, thinking either he'd change or I would eventually leave. Two months ago he told me to move out because he wasn't getting enough space. I did. A month after moving out I met a new group of friends. One of the guys had a thing for me. Because, in my mind, my boyfriend and I were separated I let things evolve with this guy - casually. It continued for about a month. During this month, my boyfriend and I even broke up but got back together.

 

Anyway, I had decided about 2 weeks ago that I didn't want to continue with this other guy. I was making plans in my mind to tell him that when my boyfriend snatched my phone up and read some texts.

 

I haven't been completely honest about what occurred between me and the guy. My boyfriend wants us to continue dating saying that he now wants a future with me, even a kid someday. That he wants to get my name tattoed on his chest (??) and he can't imagine his life without me. Yet at the same time he continually berates me about what happened between me and this other guy.

 

Is our relationship fixable? Can he ever trust me again? Should I believe that he really wants these things?

[Realitynut]

I feel he's just jealous... the old "i don't want you, until someone else has you" syndrome

 

Now i want you, now I don't, now I want you, now I don't.....forever.....

[PlayingAces]

It seems like your boyfriend isn't ready for commitment. I read that he wants a kid, and a tattoo, but nowhere did you mention marriage. If a man doesn't want to marry you after being together for two whole years, that would be a major red flag to me. And he can imagine his life without you, considering he had one before he met you, and he had one after he dumped you. It's just that he realized a life with you is more convenient for him, for whatever reason. Did you cook? Do housework? Do his laundry? Provide for his sexual appetites? My guess is yes. That's probably the REAL reason he wants you back.

 

Your boyfriend has no reason to be upset about the "other guy" considering he kicked you out of his house. When you break up with someone, they're free to have a relationship with whomever they want.

 

Just one question though, if I may. Was he cheating on his wife with you? Once a cheater, always a cheater.

[DN]

The story is a little confusing but it seems there was some sort of cheating involved by various people and relationships have a hard time withstanding that.

[Stay_home]

My boyfriend wants us to continue dating saying that he now wants a future with me, even a kid someday. That he wants to get my name tattoed on his chest (??) and he can't imagine his life without me.

 

Remember something...

 

He probably told his wife that same line too.

 

You could be her, that could be you. I just have some misgivings about a person that creeps out on their spouse thinking that the grass is greener. People like that usually are never happy; they never settle down in one place. And you can be in her position in the next 5 or 10 years.

[Madamdiva007]

How old are you guys if you don't mind me asking? Seems he might be a little older since he was married for 10 years...