Really In Need of Support Right Now

[AlxEss]

I've been in NC for about over a month after LC for a few torturous months (semi-complete story in other threads) but find it very hard to stay away since the July 4th holiday, I haven't contacted her but I'm coming close.

 

Although I know healing is an up and down process, I still feel like I'm in hell. I'm typing this at work and I can't hold back the tears, and it's old news. I thought I was over some of this. I don't know why I keep having dreams of her and why it keeps messing up my whole day.

 

I know what contacting her would mean in reality but she was my comfort for two years. It's really ironic but I lost my best friend too, she would have been the one to support me through this even though she was the one who hurt me very deeply.

 

I have no choice but try to ride it out, but I'm not sure I can hold on any longer. If I contact her, she'd be sympathetic, but she's moved on and it'd only hurt more.

 

I'm trying to see this through, but the more days I have like this, the tougher it gets.

[magnoliatree]

Oh honey! You've been NC for a month!!! That's so amazing!! Just try to take it one day at a time. You CAN do it! And you don't want to feel worse than you do now, right? Stay strong!!

[Eocsor]

Keep going one day at a time and eventually it does get easier. It just takes a long time. Studies put the average time to get over the end of a significant relationship at about 18 months to a year. Thats to the point where you are almost completely healed so it is a bit of a journey. Hang in there.

[Bella4]

I know how much you're hurting - I am on week 3 of my break up - its so hard, especially as we left it on good-ish terms last night... but sometimes you just have to let them go. My ex was my best friend too - and I too always think he's the one who should be comforting me, but he can't because all of this pain is caused by him.

 

I love him dearly - but I think.. I couldnt go back after he's hurt me this deeply emotionally. If you got your ex back, as with me too... you'd constantly be nervous about when they are going to do this again.

 

You're doing so well with no contact, well done - it will get easier.. you are not alone, we are all here because a lot of us are suffering the heartache that you are too.

 

She's moved on - give yourself some respect by telling yourself she doesnt deserve you.

[AlxEss]

Thanks for the words everyone.

 

Not too sure why but NC is getting harder and harder after that month. I guess she's really gone and I'm finally accepting it.

[lykkeli]

Do you know how many people have been through what you are going through? A LOT.

 

I went through a tough breakup last summer where I lost 20 pounds in one month. I felt a bottomless pit in my heart, it literally felt like that everyday.

The pain is excruciating and cannot be easily alleviated. You will feel it for awhile.

 

But it goes away, eventually. It takes time. This has probabaly been said over and over again to you, but it's so true. I cannot say anything to make you feel better at the moment.... but take comfort in knowing that this is temporary.

 

Oh, and NO NEW CONTACT = NO NEW PAIN. Do not contact her if you want to start your healing process all over again.

[Snowy]

You will get through this man don't worry.

 

If you tough it out, you will come out a confident man.

 

If you give in and contact her, you'll feel defeated all over again.

 

Hang in there man.

[AlxEss]

This is a great place. I wish it'd be easier to find support groups like this in real life.

 

A lot of you are suffering and I feel for you but I've been in this for so long. She left me in February, but I guess we officially broke up in March with me seeing her for the last time in late April and me initiating NC in early June when I saw that she succumbed to starting anew instead of looking within as I did. The story is in other threads, but basically I'm sick of feeling this way. She may be hiding it but she's dating again, surrounded by people who love her and seems happy with where she's at...not so much her decision.

 

I know it's all ebbs and flows but I wish I knew when the nightmares would come. They are always the same...me asking a question I don't want to know the answer to but NEED to ask because she won't tell me. Her answers make it like it's obvious and I should know, almost mocking me. She was my favorite person in the world and she was dishonest with me for months...it's a tough thing to deal with...

 

One day at a time.

[wicked6018]

you're doing a great job NC. she's the one that caused you all this pain, how is she supposed to comfort you? it would just hurt worse. i know how you feel. he broke my heart but he was also my comforter. it is very hard to deal with, but you are doing a good job. keep going.