Please tell me I'm wrong.

[hiddenpurple]

I don't think my girlfriend cares about me anymore. There's a long and drawn out story about my life. I come from an abusive household so I have a lot of issues. I'm horrified of loss and I'm hoping I'm just over reacting so I can just let this blow over. My girlfriend has been pushing me away. I used be able to be close to her, but the little things just aren't allowed anymore. She won't let me show affection. We don't see each other as much anymore either. I pointed this out to her and she told me "I live a busy lifestyle, you're just going to have to get used to it regardless of your lifestyle trapped in your room all the time". She also talks to me a lot about how she hates going to Doctors appointments with her sister and mother, that she has the option of staying home, but she doesn't like to be home alone. I offered her the option of spending the day at my house while her mom and sister go to the doctor, but she hesitated and then said that's not an option like she was trying to come up with an excuse. This just made me feel like she'd rather be someplace she hates being than with me.

[blackhawks1287]

What this issue about trapping yourself in your room, and offering her to spend the day at your house?

 

TAKE HER SOME WHERE....she doesn't want to be alone or sit at home. Be spontaneous...doesn't have to cost money...go to the zoo...park...picnic...start talking again. Don't be pushy and don't be needy.

 

You obliviously have issues that you state in the beginning...you fear loss, and cling to this girl. Something isn't right here either way...so there is a lot of work to be done with yourself and your relationship.

[dthul1]

I agree with blackhawk...to a degree. Get her outta the house more it seems like she is a busy body and is constantly on the move and does not like to be enclosed. which could be why she is a distant person maybe its by nature? I wouldnt look to much into it because if you do and you are always asking her questions about it you could push her away that much more. I would give her some space (trust me I know thats hard) and let her do what she needs to do. Tell her you love her (if you are that far into the relationship) and let it be that. you cant force the relationship to work, If your not right for eachother your not right for eachother.

[stuka80]

Too late man, you can try to do a 180 but she's checked out of the relationship.

[ferna3069]

wait so she doesnt want to be with her mom and her sister but she doesnt want to be alone? yet she doesnt want to be with you. i think its time to let her go man. this is going to couse you more pain if you wait any longer

[endy]

What have you done to work on those issues? That's the main issue here. Forget the relationship. To be in a healthy relationship both people need to be in the right state of mind. You just said you are horrified of loss. That is an abandonment issue. It needs to be addressed. Usually it's better outside of a relationship to address it as well. I would probably seek professional help with all of that. You can try to work through it yourself, but that fear is very very deep inside of you. It is not easy to overcome those types of issues at all.

 

It will continue to effect your adult relationships because it is deep rooted in your subconcious. It's something we don't notice, but it can be triggered very easily. That's my advice. Get right with you first.

[tresqua]

 

She tells you that she hates that you lock yourself in your room all day long, she has a busy lifestyle and she likes to go out and do things, and what do you say to that? "Come over to my house and spend the day here". That's not what she's looking for. Open the front door, walk outside, and go do fun and interesting things. There's a whole world out there and it's not really meant to be viewed from your computer monitor.

[Unknownxl]

You need to get out and do things. Show her you can be fun. I know you have it in you. Imagine the things you would do while you were single or with friends.

 

Like going to a movie, bowling, the zoo, picnic, swimming/the lake the list can go on and on. I would begin to treat her like a friend and be 100% honest about things. Be open, girls really like that. Don't let it be to late to fix things and ignore my advice. This may be hard at first but if you really let go and open up and have fun you guys will be soooo much closer and she will have no reason to leave you.