What to do..couple of Months of NC

[abell481988]

What to do..couple of Months of NC

[Ms Darcy]

What is it that you want?

[abell481988]

Sorry my first time doing this..lol..I mean making my own thread..I just want to see what u think about the situation..My ex(her name is Judi(I knew this woman since July of last year)..by the way Im 22 and she is 26) broke up with me in February this year(reasons being it was my fault I'm not gonna lie..I've lied(im sorry for it trust me but..I should of been alittle more up front with her and she have alot of trust issues with alot of ppl but me doing that to her hurt her alot..plus of course she didn't have that "spark" with me anymore..it seem like she was thinking about this for a awhile aswell.) ....we finally got together December(after all the waiting,talking ,texting,flirting and fwb..we are very close and care about each other alot..)I know that wasn't too long but our friendship was very strong and one of the reasons why at first I didn't really leave her behind(also me being still liking this woman..lol)..During February I made all the mistakes talking to her,helping her out,sometimes bringing up about the relationship,getting annoyed when she talks about this guy she likes..ugh..at first I was going to go NC on her but I didn't go thru it like I should..but when march hits..I just got tired of all the bs and drama..she getting mad at me for little things(like I called her kim(my ex) on accident..idk me and my mom have this problem with ppl names..but I RARELY do this..this was one of these times..sigh)..just to say she flip out got crazy mad was crying..throwing things..(I mean if u didn't care if I was with her and wanted to be friends u wouldn't do that...right)texting me pages on I never did this and she felt like I really never listen to her ..yea right..I was always there for her and her two kids..hell her kids enjoys being with me..and there was never a day we ever wasn't talking on the phone..I know her inside and out I know her horror stories from her Ex abused her,call her names,just pretty much treated her like a slave..and her pretty much having f'd up childhood life..she had a very hard life is all...she only had one true friend and that was sheri..and I was even above that by our friendship..she's insecure about her looks and sometimes(when we would have a very deep and emotional talk)herself..like she needs somebody and she also very sexual person and been with a few ppl where we work at(I already knew about all this cause she told me)...anyway

 

Around March I didn't talk to her or look at her or anything(cause we work at the same place at the time)and then she actually did it for me..lol she deleted me off facebook..I was mad..alittle..but it didn't hurt ..at all..cause really she needed me more than I needed her(I mean i care about her but come on she was acting like a child doing what she did)on April on Easter she send me an text saying(Even tho we dont talk anymore Happy Easter and to let me know she miss my friend)of course acouple of hours later I texted her back..and I wish I didn't dammit(I know u do..I do to..but we always fighting now and all kinds of drama and we both want two different things and I need to do this for me)..then she texted back saying(I know...)then finally she broke and at night she texted me(can u atleast add me so I know what u was doing?) and then I said(oh really?)and she said(well yea,we was very close and she think of me often)..so yea I re added her back on facebook..but heres the bull* * * * ..

 

Around that time she going out with my friend luis(also work at the place and he knew i like judi)I knew something was up but I wasnt gonna start anything..I knew better than that so anyway..my suspicion was right..May 3rd..her and him was in a relationship..once I seen that I deleted both of them off of facebook..and went NC again..shes gonna know how it feels not to be with me for sure..my friends (that also work at the place)was telling me her reaction and that she don't know why I deleted her off of facebook,and telling some days she was very depressed looking and sad..(by this time I work somewhere else a good paying job,got me a car(no more using parents car)been exercising..been getting my computer certifications done )

 

So anyway I haven't hear from her for like 2 months now..and im sure she's still with him...by the looks from it she do likes him(even tho he dont like kids and throw away girlfriends like yesterday trash..I warned her..)and he likes her(but then again they just started talking to each other on the facebook for like one week and then BOOM..and go out with each other one night,have sex then..we're in a relationship we love each other so much but..he don't know her like I do..well when she gets mad anyway and speak her mind)..but then again Im in a much better place now....but tell u the truth sometimes I hope she'll come back..but if not..I hope her the best...if it seems like im mad at her im not..just disappointed

 

I just want to know what ya think about this..

[abell481988]

Sigh idk know whats wrong but today I have been really down..and I mean DOWNN..maybe cause now I see how much of an impact that she made in my life..I was so used to talking to her u know..and I cant believe how much time past since I had first heard from her..it was April when she tried and be my friends..but I cant take that..we both want different things..when I went NC this time on May 3rd when it was official that she was with Luis..I had no choice but to do this..Im glad I didn't work there anymore at this time..I gave her a chance to make things right..but I see at that time that wasn't going to happen anytime soon so like I said..I deleted her off facebook,deleted her number off my phone(she don't have a vehicle so she cant come to my place)and I did it without saying anything this time around..no warning about going NC again or anything just disappeared.She can say I abandon her and I never really cared about her and all that junk..But I know i wasn't going to be the friend that I can go to all the time and that's it...no...its been 2 months...I was doing good..but now..im feeling like * * * * ..and another reason is that I don't have anyone to talk to about this stuff..its hard to go around acting like everything is ok while sometimes..its not..

[Ms Darcy]

She sounds like a trainwreck actually. I wouldn't want her back.

[abell481988]

Sometimes I wonder if it was good to go NC..the first time I went cause..well we wasn't really talking to each other like we used to..she was talking to other guys..and we use to talk all the time throughout the day..if she's at work she would call me on her break..and when she gets home..she would call me....now at this time(it was February..ugh that month was really hard..)she would only call when she would get back home from work...and she would talk to me about Noel and about how perfect he is..even tho they don't know nothing about each other...so I got fed up with it and just stop calling and texting..then that day when I went out with my 1st ex Kim on ST Patrick's Day and then the next day afternoon..she call and to see what I was doing and wanting to know how it goes..so I told her how it went..she was saying how she knew I still cared about her and all this stuff..and so we were just talking having a good time until(and idk WHY I did this..me and my mom both have this problem..and it was an accident..and I feel stupid for doing it I called her Kim..and then she got pissed off and hung up the phone real fast..and then she was sending me texts that really made me mad and hurt me..like she was saying that I didn't care about her and that I only went out with her only one time..and all the times me and her been together and known each other..and that REALLY hurt her..and that nobody never did that to her before..not even her ex(ouch that was a major low blow cause her ex is an * * * * * * * to the core..only seen him a couple of times and I can tell he doesn't like me..the only reason the ex is in the picture is cause he's the father of the two kids she have..so yea.)and she did call back and the fight was on..and there were things that I said..I wish I hadn't..

 

Anyway she called me to see how I was doing(this was 3 weeks after the fight out we had on the phone)so I told her I was doing fine and we was talking for awhile and it felt strange but we were actually talking like we used to..so I asked her(and I wish I didn't)can I come over and she said yea..so I went over there to her house and everything was going pretty good..we had some quite moments(I hate that)and then it was time for her to get into bed..she ad to wake up early in the morning..so I went up there with her..we were still talking then we got into the room and we were just fooling around in bed just tickling each other and what not and making her laugh..and then she laid on her side and I was about to tell her I was bout to go until..she grab my hand and put it around her waist..and her being so close to me it bought back old memories and of course..we had ex sex..ugh..but we stopped..and I said I had to go and she agreed..I felt so bad doing that and she did to...now I know I couldn't be around her at all for awhile..

 

This happen all in March..Im just typing things down and listing that what happen..so I can see what all ya think about this..

[abell481988]

Yea I know right..its just not going to be easy..but I will try and Im not going to go back..its going to take ALOT from her to show me she wants me..by that time..I think it'll be too late for her...I've been talking to this girl at my workplace for awhile so we'll see where it goes..