Simple question - How do you knock your ex off their pedestal?

[donpeel83]

As the title reads. Im struggling to do this at the momnt. I know shes not a great person I thought she was (with the facebook hack and then using it against me) but I was wondering, for those of us suffering who still look at our ex partners with rose tinted specs, how do you knock them off their pedestal that you create in your mind?

 

Thanks xAx

[superfox]

Make a list. The songs she loved and you hated, the soaps she'd watch, the annoying friend with the loud laugh! Anything that makes you feel better about not missing these aspects.

 

You've already got;

1) failed hacker

2) liar

3) desperate

 

Add Hollyoaks to the list and you're almost done

[thekid55]

Keep your mind busy. Sounds cliche, but it's true. Exercise, hang with friends, travel, whatever you can do to get your mind off of it. As more time goes by and the more time you spend enjoying these things, your brain will disassociate good memories of her replace them with your present life. It's all about doing things you enjoy and time. It's that simple.

[hausser]

Go NC....simple man. Every day you become less and less attached.

[donpeel83]

Thanks guys. I think i was trying to see if there was anything I could do differently to alter my way of thinking and remove her from that pedestal. I know ultimatley I put her on the pedestal and that im owner of said pedestal, but its a tricky one.

[dramallama]

Think of her with the stomach flu. Think of her negative straits (she must have some!). List the reasons why she WASN'T good for you. Think of her most annoying qualities.

[Snowy]

Rather than trying everything to lower HER, it might be better to work on your own confidence?

 

Once you have the confidence, you won't feel like she's on a pedestal anymore.

[Injured Lion]

I agree with hausser. What helped me was NC. Each day you stay NC, the Ex will slowly fall off that pedestal. Time heals.

 

Exercising/working out, hanging out with friends, doing something active, meeting new people, making new friends, anything that helps boost your self-esteem helps.

 

Stay strong!

[ferna3069]

i had a real hard time trying to get over my ex im not completely over her but i can see her bad sides. if you want to knock her off the pedestol make a list of everything she did wrong, like the facebook hack , maybe she used u for money maybe she did not care about yhour feelings at times. vent on here thats what i did and it did alot of good

[donpeel83]

SOme great points guys, thanks. I might make an ENA list later and use it as a jump off reference point. Thanks again

[Huckster]

Well, looking at your profile pic, I'd say that a jab, hook, upper cut combination would do the job ;-)

 

Seriously, though, judge their actions (as opposed to their words).

 

I have been going through a break up for 2 months (only 4 months of being involved AND NOT EVEN OFFICIALLY!!) and, even now, I still feel she has some very endearing qualities (even though, yesterday, I found out that she is far from endearing).

 

So, with that in mind, maybe the combo is still an option

[donpeel83]

Haha, well that photo isnt me, if you click and go to my prfile thats me. I do go boxing though so the combo can be the emergency back up plan lol.

 

Well, I like that phrase, judge her actions. Her actions of getting jelous over me talking to other girls, hacking my facebook and letting it bother her, of sending me reminders about her bikini wax to get an emotional response from me. Sure she says she is over me etc and this new guy is the guy for her, but her bitter jelous behaviour kind of tells an other story or that there is at least more to her current mind set and way of thinking then she is letting on. I do really think I will hear from her again in the future when the new relationship hits the wall.

 

Also, Huckster if you dont mind me asking, what were these things you discovered regarding your exes non-endearing qualities?