Where do I go from here?

[Bella4]

Hey Ena,

 

So, it's Bella again - I'm hoping some of you are familiar with my break up background now, only 2 weeks ago he ended it, about certain things not changing and how he felt he put his all into the relationship and I didnt (which may be true to a certain extent) I've spoken to him once since the break up - and it was him opening his heart about his low self esteem and how he couldnt do it anymore etc, how he felt like he wasnt good enough..after 2.5 years.

 

I sent him his festival ticket and sold mine, and he thanked me and hoped I had a good weekend, which I ignored - as it seemed a totally pointless message.

 

I then hear from a mutual friend he said he felt I depended on him financially...when I never asked for a penny, he is wealthy with a good job, i'm studying to be a teacher etc and dont have time to earn aswell... but as i said never asked for a penny he just threw his money around.

 

So he's back from the festival, and after stalking me on tumblr on his iphone and seeing a little rant ...i dont know where to go from here.

 

Also, he's ALWAYS set offline on facebook chat and has been for years, yet he's suddenly online right now.

 

He told me when he opened up to me there wouldnt be another "us" again etc.... but there could be, if given the chance things could improve so much... i've been going out and seeing friends and keeping busy - but that constant gut feeling of sadness is there.

 

What do I do? I dont want to contact him first, which im not... I just want a chance to reconciliation

[chitown9]

The best thing to do, Bella, is go no contact. You need it to heal. It may be difficult for you to resist contacting him, but in this case your silence speaks volumes. If he contacts you to reconciliate, you can discuss it then, but don't accept any communication from him unless it is about reconcilliation. Let him miss you. This is the only way for you to proceed to have a healthy outcome from this break up. wishes to you Bella, chi

[Bella4]

The best thing to do, Bella, is go no contact. You need it to heal. It may be difficult for you to resist contacting him, but in this case your silence speaks volumes. If he contacts you to reconciliate, you can discuss it then, but don't accept any communication from him unless it is about reconcilliation. Let him miss you. This is the only way for you to proceed to have a healthy outcome from this break up. wishes to you Bella, chi

 

Yeah I am on day 9 of no contact, however I found it weird that whilst he was at the festival with friends with plenty of distractions why he was sitting in his tent on his iphone on my blog...

 

I dont think he will contact me to reconciliate, not without me having a big talk - but that goes against my no contact.

 

I just dont know why he's online on facebook chat when its always turned off.

[Bella4]

Ok - so it's officially over. We spoke this evening online, we listened to each other, and he said he can't go back after feeling the way he has, and that he's sorry he's hurt me. We agreed to delete each other from Facebook - but keep each others numbers etc in case of life emergency (cant see that happening though).. he thanked me for being me, and said he enjoyed our time together but it fell apart, he said he hopes I find someone better ...and "If any man hurts you let me know"...why the hell?

 

Anyway - back to square one of being emotionally unstable. This hurts so much... I dont know how ill get through this.

[Ms Darcy]

You will get through this. I am sorry for your pain. But at least now you have closure. Start a healing journal if you need to. Best,