HELP!! I went through his cell and found something that has really upset me!!

[LyricBaby]

I could really use some advice. My BF and I have been together for two years and recently bought a house together. A few days ago his friend called him to go to a waterpark a few hours away from where we live. I was kinda jealous and told him so because I have wanted to go there for awhile now but he told me this was a "guys" trip and we would together another time so I dropped it. Anyways a few days after his "guys" day at the waterpark I looked through his phone. His regular text msgs there was nothing suspious. But he doesn't realize that when he deletes part of the texts it still saves it on his phone and these are what I read the deleted text msgs or parts of them is all you can see. Bascially what I read was him trying to convince another friend of his that lives by the waterpark to come with him. My BF texted "me and the boys are following a car of hot girls up" his friend texts back telling him to stop in bc they will be going right by his house my BF texts back "no way we're following hot girls there" then at night when I was texting him about how the park was his friend texted him back asking if he was still there and he replied "yep waiting in the parking lot with the girls because they locked their keys out of their car"

I'm really pissed off apparently this so called boys trip involved meeting and hanging out with "hot" girls all day.

Should I confront him and admit I went through his deleted msgs that I'm sure he doesn't even realize are saved on his cell .... Or am I just overreacting ...

[JeckyllNHyde]

I've been in your shoes.. and it's usually a bad idea to confront. With a bf, I confronted him and he turned it around on me, making it seem like I was overreacting and that I didn't have trust in him. On top of it he made up some excuse about how he was "friends with the girl in high-school".

I'm not really sure if it's a good idea or not to tell him you went thru it, but I think in 99% of cases it just backfires.

[Seraphim]

If you went through his phone do you really trust him anyway? You do not go through the phone of someone you trust.

[Nymeria]

Well first of all you shouldn't be going through his cell but *sigh* are we all kind of guilty of doing that?

 

Anyways, remember that when guys talk to other guys they tend to exaggerate (notice how many times he said "hot girls"). Are any of his friends single? If your BF is the only one or the few who are in a relationship in that group, he might find himself doing more "single guy" oriented stuff with them. If I could bet 20 dollars on it I would say one of his single friends invited a cute enough girl and her friends to the park and your BF just kind of played the role of being young and single. Of course, he shouldn't have texted (hence why he deleted them) but haven't you ever gone out with your girlfriends and sat in a bar and talked about how hot this guy was and how creepy that other one was?

[abitbroken]

BTW, my friends and I joke all the time. "I'm going to Victoria's Secret. You know. To get something that will impress Hugh." My friend thinks Hugh Laurie is major hottness. Its a joke between us. We also talk about "the car full of models" or "firemen". we say "whoops, someone got their hose stuck. guess we got to help. ha ha ha" and really there are no firemen or Hugh laurie. its just all silly jokes. My brother tells people he has a "date" with a special lady and its grandma To me, if he would really be doing something, the texts would be more specific, like "We are meeting Sally and Josie". not "a car full of hot girls"

 

Anyway, if there is nothing else amiss in your relationship, i wouldn't worry. btw, if there were girls, he could be the third wheel when his friends were looking or could be the wingman who broke the ice for his single friends to meet them.

[Seraphim]

There is that too, maybe he was joking with friends. Either way I would examine why you had to look through his phone.

[lizzie2011]

say nothing. sigh. The texts show that he was out with the guys as he said. They don't show that he was texting any of these "hot girls" anything inappropriate or anything at all. You have nothing.

[_Asti_]

Guess I may be in the minority here thinking there's nothing really wrong here?

 

Boys will be be boys. I hear my husband talking to his friends about stuff they do, and all I can do is roll my eyes. And them following a car of hot girls would make me roll my eyes and laugh.

Not to mention, if his friends are single, odds are there are girls going to be around. Does it mean my husbands chasing them? Probably not. His friends are, and he's in the car. My guy has gone on guys nights and later on I have heard about girls being there. Its not him wanting the girls there.

 

I suppose my question here is why are you going through his phone? Obviously something of this nature would upset someone who had trust issues. You will dig till you find something because you don't trust him.

[guynextdoor]

That is what guys do, we check out hot women. Did he hit on any girls? Did he asked for their numbers? Even if he flirted with them it doesn't mean he is cheating on you. I would squash it.

[hexaemeron]

Oh, so I see how it is. You were jealous you weren't asked to go, so you have to take something he got enjoyment out of and use it to somehow victimize yourself so you can remove his enjoyment by violating his privacy and making a situation out of nothing.

 

What a nice girlfriend you seem to be.

[MyNinja]

Here's my two cents.

 

If you're with someone and you feel the need to go through their things just "to see" if they're cheating or has something else going on, then you have some insecurities about yourself that should be worked on. If he gave you no reason to think he was up to something, then what provoked you to snoop through his phone?? Just wondering because it seems like an invasion of privacy, lack of respect and trust.

 

 

If someone came up to me and confronted me about something they found on my phone or whatever and without my knowledge. I would be furious.

 

I think you should ask yourself why you feel the need to snoop rather than wondering about some ''hot girls' you may be suspicious about. Good luck to you

 

Until we meet again...

[Tresha]

Do you know why you went through his phone? Was there suspicious behavior? Has he been mean? Cold? Hostile? (not just distant ... men get "distant" when they have a bad golf game ... it means they are pissed/annoyed/having a bad day and don't want to talk about it).

 

If you have no cause (I mean real cause, not insecurities or curiosity or wrongly placed defense/protection), the spying is the problem, not his going out with the guys, even if they chased hot girls and helped them get their keys out of the car. The spying will kill the relationship deader than dead, quicker than quick. I refuse to justify my every move to my husband, just as he refuses to justify his every move to me. No one owes you a play-by-play of every moment of their life. I'd be willing to bet you've made more than one comment to your girlfriends about some guys butt, some actor's voice, yada yada. This is no different. Do you tell your boyfriend that you told so-and-so that the waiter has a tight ass? If you do, stop, lol.

 

He's not a child and you aren't his parent. Do you expect him to trust you when you are out without him? Give him the same, please ... at least until he shows you otherwise.

 

P.S. You snooping around his private conversations is not "him showing you different." That's you looking and looking until you find something you can blow up into a huge deal in your own mind. There's a difference.