Are these signs my bf doesnt love me?

[Heartbroken112]

I need an outsider's point of view on this. Here is how my bf treats me and I need to know if I am right to be feeling that I am being treated poorly.

 

1) He comes home from work everyday and goes straight onto his pc to play online games with his brother (Bf is 32 yrs old, brother is 34)

 

2) If I call him when he is at lunch at work, he either a) doesnt answer the phone or b) talks in yes and no's, not full sentences

 

3) He always..ALWAYS has sex with me from behind, there is no kissing, passion or intimacy involved. He has been like this for over 2 and a half years right from the beginning when i met him. He blames this on having OCD and not being able to behave initmate.

 

4) He hardly says I love you

 

5) He tends to treat me like an object, grabbing hold of me out of the blue even if i shout no to him and touching me instead of just coming over to give me a kiss or a hug

 

6) When he goes out, he rarely invites me to come with him. (We live together however I dont really class that as spending time with him though)

 

7) Every weekend he makes plans to see his mate on a sat to go drinking, sundays are spent with him back on his pc again for the whole day until bedtime.

 

8) He hardly calls to see how I am when i am at work but more calls me to complain about his day and his hatred for people/life in general.

 

9) He always tells me I am the one pushing him away in the relationship by not keeping the house clean, taking care of myself (exercise wise) and having no goals in life. I feel I can never do anything right. He says Im like a child and cant hold an adult conversation with him

 

10) Which leads onto the last one...he treats me like a child and I feel that he doesnt see me as a girlfriend but more like I am his daughter.

[wicked6018]

i don't think he cares for you at all. he's making it clear that you aren't important to him. i am dealing with the same thing right now and to the point where i am going to end it with my fiance. about saying how YOU are pushing him away in the relationship is very immature, because you are clearly the one trying to make it work, and he's not. i am in the same situation and it hurts SO much. and he is 32? he sounds like an 18 or 20 year old. you can do much better. don't continue to put so much effort into something when he is making you wonder if he loves you, you shouldn't have to wonder. i know it hurts, because, like i said, my fiance and i are about to break up. all i can do is cry in my bed. BUT...if this is the way our men are going to make us feel, is it really worth it? no. i don't think it is. i don't think that's love. love is doing everything in your power to make your partner happy and to care for her feelings, our men are not doing that. i would say end this relationship. Good luck!

[JeckyllNHyde]

It's a bit hard to judge just based on the points alone.

Some of them scream "he may not respect (or love) you, while others can be misinterpreted by us ladies sometimes.

Example:

2) If I call him when he is at lunch at work, he either a) doesnt answer the phone or b) talks in yes and no's, not full sentences

It could be that his bosses or co workers are around and/or listening and he feels akward talking or expressing himself infront of them. Even I find it a bit akward talking infront of co workers openly.

 

5) He tends to treat me like an object, grabbing hold of me out of the blue even if i shout no to him and touching me instead of just coming over to give me a kiss or a hug

Some guys see this as a way of showing affection, instead of just hugging or kissing you. Maybe he sees it as being "playfull".

 

It does seem like he may be taking you for granted a bit since he never invites you out with him and it seems like he's always making plans without you.

[catfeeder]

It's one thing to recognize that you have a lousy BF, it's another thing to question why you'd stick around for a lousy BF.

 

You can't fix a BF, but you can always walk away and bide your time for a better one.

[Ms Darcy]

1) He comes home from work everyday and goes straight onto his pc to play online games with his brother (Bf is 32 yrs old, brother is 34)

 

That doesn't have anything to do with you. You are just stating how he likes to wind down.

 

2) If I call him when he is at lunch at work, he either a) doesnt answer the phone or b) talks in yes and no's, not full sentences

 

I don't always want to talk to romantic partners at work either.

 

3) He always..ALWAYS has sex with me from behind, there is no kissing, passion or intimacy involved. He has been like this for over 2 and a half years right from the beginning when i met him. He blames this on having OCD and not being able to behave initmate.

 

This is hard to judge since he has always been this way.

 

4) He hardly says I love you

 

Did you tell him you want to hear it more?

 

5) He tends to treat me like an object, grabbing hold of me out of the blue even if i shout no to him and touching me instead of just coming over to give me a kiss or a hug

 

I agree with someone who said this is how some guys show affection. Depends on what "grabbing hold" and "touching me" means though. I had an ex who would do that and it was sweet. He loved to grab my hands. Do you mean in a violent way? Because that's different.

 

6) When he goes out, he rarely invites me to come with him. (We live together however I dont really class that as spending time with him though)

 

Sometimes living with someone makes you lazy. I wouldn't necessarily be offended. I think men DO class living with you as spending time with you (and that makes sense, because you ARE living together). The difference is "quality time."

 

7) Every weekend he makes plans to see his mate on a sat to go drinking, sundays are spent with him back on his pc again for the whole day until bedtime.

 

Have you asked him about spending more quality time together?

 

8) He hardly calls to see how I am when i am at work but more calls me to complain about his day and his hatred for people/life in general.

 

Actually, it is good that he reaches out to you.

 

9) He always tells me I am the one pushing him away in the relationship by not keeping the house clean, taking care of myself (exercise wise) and having no goals in life. I feel I can never do anything right. He says Im like a child and cant hold an adult conversation with him

 

OK. When you moved in, did you agree that you would keep the house clean? Have you gained weight since you two got together? I don't mean to be mean about that but it IS or can be a turn off. Do you have goals in life? Do you all have interesting conversations? I'm wondering if he has some valid concerns here.

 

10) Which leads onto the last one...he treats me like a child and I feel that he doesnt see me as a girlfriend but more like I am his daughter.

 

What do you mean by this?

 

At the very least it sounds like he's not paying much attention to you, but he may also feel like you are not paying enough attention to yourself. If you want to work on your relationship, I would give my questions some thought.