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This guy who likes me.. called me ugly today


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There´s this guy at work who has asked me out once and flirted with me all the time, and I am sure that he liked me. He once even told me that I'm more beautiful than Keira Knightley (though the point is, he doesn't find her attractive, but he told me that "but I really think you are more beautiful than her"), and then he asked me out to dinner and everything (he's the type of guy who thinks that dinner=date). But I'm not attracted to him and I hate leading people on so I keep a great distance between me and him and I treat him like how I would treat a 'bro' and everything, perhaps I am quite mean sometimes too and I like being mean to my friends as a joke.

Now it's weird because, I know he was joking but what he said today hurt me a lot. We were on the bus with the other interns at work today, and we were talking about kidnapping in Mexico. And since I am going to Mexico for exchange, he said this "Oh wow you better be careful, there's a small chance that they might like you even with a face like yours." I was shocked to hear such comment so I fired back "Well anything is boring to you cos you are so boring". The other interns were silent cos they were pretty harsh exchange between me and him.

But why did he say something so mean? I know that he gets that I'm not into him and he was flirting with some other girl today but still, he doesn't have to be this harsh.

The worse is he said 'oh well you are prettier than Keira Knightley" and then the other intern looked at me and made a face, signifying that I'm definitely not prettier than her but because he finds Knightley unattractive, so I'm a bit better than that.

Horrible. I can't say that my self esteem wasn't a bit affected.

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I think if you're going to dish it out you have to take it. You choose to be mean (sarcastic?) to your friends -and your definition of friend seems pretty broad since you say you keep a great distance from him, but yet are "mean" to him the way you are to his friends. So he's entitled to assume you can handle sarcasm/meannness right back at you. Firing back what you did simply stoops to his level and makes you look defensive and a bit like a bully, too. Perhaps you want to rethink how you treat people - including friends, acquaintances, co-workers? Is it really that much fun to be mean/sarcastic so that it's worth potentially offending people or having others treat you like that?

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Yeah I think you are taking it to heart when you shouldn't. I learned ages ago that if you are going to joke around with co-workers than you have to take what they give back. I joke around with mine all the time with sarcasm/insults but in a way they know I am just joking. They do it back to me. Like one of the guys I work with gave me his number by calling me, that way I could just copy his number into his phone. He was sitting next to me when this happened, and so I hung up as soon as my phone rang. He said "wow, you hung up on me you * * * * ing * * * * * !" and pretended to be all angry, and then we both laughed. We can be pretty harsh with each other, but we always laugh afterwards. I don't think I've ever gotten offended by what one of them have said, and they can let out some nasty jokes. Although they are a lot nastier with each other than with me, because I'm the only girl on the line.

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It's probably not a good idea to try to be 'one of his bros' without understanding what that means. Have you ever heard a bunch of guy friends joke around with one another? It's not pretty. One insult after another. If that's the kind of company you want, then that's exactly what you'll get. I'd skip trying to chum around with someone who has a crush on you, because in case you haven't noticed, overcompensation is awfully rude.


Head high, and go make some nice friends.

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