I think I've met the man of my dreams.... now what?!?

[stuck134]

so, this is probably going to be forever long, and I apologize up front, but I need to talk to someone about this. it has been consuming my mind all week.

 

I got out of a long term relationship about a year ago. I am 24, steady job, and really finding out what I want to do with my life. Now I just need to figure out the relationship part. I feel like I know what I want my ideal man to be, and I think I met him. My boss had always talked about this guy, we'll call him S. Talking about how great he was, and what a good person he was, etc. I saw a picture of him on facebook, and instantly was attracted to him. He's handsome, built, great smile, my type. Ever since then, I was dying to meet him. He lives about an hour from our business, and is only in from time to time. from what I knew of him (hobbies, looks, etc), I knew I would be in trouble if I ever met him, because I could easily fall for him. I have good self esteem, but I also never really thought he would be interested in me, but I thought I'd give it a shot.

 

Because of my position, I was asked to call him a couple of times to set up a course that he was going to teach through our business. I was so excited to finally talk to him. we chatted on the phone, set up the class, made jokes, and we're friendly. all I knew was that I was falling for him more and more, but I'd never even met him yet!!!!

 

So we set up the course. I was going to meet him that night (I was taking the course). I was so excited. I made sure to dress nice and look my best. I have good self esteem, but I never really thought that he would like me, so I figured I might as well try. When he walked in, he went right up to my desk and said "Hey, J" with a smile. I about fell over. he set up in the classroom, and was going to sit and work for a few hours until the class started. During that time, we chatted, and got to know one another. suddenly I picked up on some definite flirting. like, grade school flirting like tickling, standing close, teasing, etc. (this is a very casual business!!) I was giddy all over, but didnt think to much of it. it kind of just seemed his personality.

 

When the class started (there were 2 other students, him and I) we were all sitting close together, but him right next to me. throughout the night, he made glances, used me as a volunteer more than once (which required physical contact ) and made lots of flirtatious jokes. once the class was over, and the other two left, I started to help him clean up the materials. I asked him if he wanted a beer (we kept a few in the shop refrigerator), and he said yes. we each had two beers, and sat and chatted, getting to know each other. slowly, I realized I may be falling in love. each thing he said, made it more clear of how perfect he was for me. we connected on so many levels in such a short time. I had never experienced this before. when we were finished drinking and eating some snacks, it was time to go. I locked up the shop, and went to set the alarm. when I turned off the light, it got pitch black, and he said "setting the mood huh?" jokingly I turned the lights back on, set the alarm, and we locked up. in the parking lot, he walked me to my car, and when I turned around to say goodbye, he came up close to me and wrapped his arms around my waist. we took a moment to look at each other, and then he kissed me. I became dizzy, trying to figure out what was happening. I could not believe it! it was the most perfect first kiss. it suddenly grew into a passionate makeout session. I had never felt such energy with a person I had known only a short time. we went back into my car, and fooled around a bit. when it was time to go, we hugged and kissed some more, not wanting to leave. he said "you are awesome, I think I'm going to like working here". we exchanged numbers and went our ways. I was in heaven. I could not believe that the man of my dreams was showing an interest in me like this!

 

the next day, I could not even concentrate at work. I was not sure when I would hear from him again, or if it had even been real. That was tuesday, now it is saturday. this is where I start to go into girl mode and over analyze things. I have not heard from him since, although my boss talked to him on the phone yesterday, and when he did, he asked my boss if I was single (mini freak out mode for me : D). I want to see him again. in fact, I truly think he is the one for me. I cant even understand that though, as I have only met him once.

 

is it possible to know immediately that they are the person you are supposed to be with? was it a terrible mistake to fool around with him so soon? SHOULD I CALL HIM? or wait until he calls me? what is going on!!!! I am losing my mind over it, because he is all i think about. I know I will see him soon enough at work, but not for a while. what if another woman finds out how wonderful he is? is he really as wonderful as I think? am I crazy? I'm pretty sure that last question is true, but o well.

 

if anyone who has made it through this novel has ANY thoughts or observations, bits of advice, or words of wisdom, it would be greatly appreciated.

[Stampedingwolf]

you can't really jump to conclusions when it comes to things like this. I'd say go for it if you really think he might be that nice guy you've been looking for. All I can say is this; I've never been in a relationship before, and I don't know how it feels to be touched by another human being, particularly a woman...SEIZE THE OPPORTUNITY.

[DN]

Is he coming back to teach the course?

 

At the moment I think you feel something more like lust than love but that doesn't mean love can't follow if you get to know him better.

[stuka80]

man of your dreams eh? be careful

[Blue Skittles]

Thats awesome! Its so exciting to be in the stage of falling for someone!

 

I would advise you to just be careful though, it takes more than a couple days to get to know someone and keep your eyes open for any "red flags". That being said, if you have his cell # why don't you send him a little text? That might initiate some conversation between the two of you without looking too forward Good Luck!

[Kitkat973]

It's hard to keep in mind in those early stages of a relationship, but just try to keep one foot on the ground. Being too invested too early can be a turn-off.

[chitown9]

It sounds like you had fun. He kissed you right off the bat. hmmm....sounds like a player. I would not be so quick to give my heart away if I were you.

[Ms Darcy]

It sounds like you had fun. He kissed you right off the bat. hmmm....sounds like a player. I would not be so quick to give my heart away if I were you.

 

Kissing off the bat is somewhat forward! Try your best not to build him up, although I know how hard that is. HE would be lucky to have you. YOU are the girl of HIS dreams. DO NOT make him more important than he needs to be. The man of your dreams will treat you like his dreamgirl.

[lalalollipops]

Um to actually start falling for somebody you need to know about them as a person. Not just how 'built' he is or cute. What you feel is infatuation.

[lalalollipops]

I hate it when people throw the word love around, or even the term 'falling for him'

it's like it's lost its significance.

[Snuggly]

Whats taking him so long to contact you? Friend him on facebook, check if he is a player

[SunWorshipper]

Kissing off the bat is somewhat forward! Try your best not to build him up, although I know how hard that is. HE would be lucky to have you. YOU are the girl of HIS dreams. DO NOT make him more important than he needs to be. The man of your dreams will treat you like his dreamgirl.

 

I have to agree with Ms Darcy.. exercise caution. I am not trying to rain on your parade ..I am very happy for you that you feel happy and excited, but he can see just how excited you are about him + I think that is why he moved in on you so fast..! Coz boy that was fast! I think, like the other posters have suggested, that to move in on you so quick isn't a good sign. You're making it so easy for him - there's nothing wrong with being innocent and open, but don't let him take advantage of your sweet, accepting, genuine nature - he saw that about you a mile off. My gut feeling is: a good man with honest intentions would have taken longer to approach, to make sure you were clear he is serious about you, not just after a short-term fling or one night stand.

 

I really think you need to stay grounded, take deep breaths and slow right down with your ideas about him.

If he is your ideal man, then he won't suddenly run off with some other woman "who finds out how wonderful he is".

 

I also think you need to concentrate on what he has to offer you and ensure you are seeing these qualities honestly or building him up to be someone with qualities so much greater than he actually has.

Your a great person too, he is lucky to have met you - just make sure he actually knows that and don't let him treat you like you will always be available and at his beck and call.

 

I also think that if he feels so deeply about you, and has any feelings anywhere near as meaningful as you believe you feel for him, then he would have text a bit sooner - it's like he knows your dangling and will go crazy if he doesn't get in touch sooner, then he can gauge your reaction and see how keen you are to dive in for fear of losing him.

 

Call me cynical, but I don't think he's necessarily all he seems.