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am I too....stand-off-ish?...the kiss


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I don't know if I need advice or if I just need to write this out.

I've known this guy for about a month-both early 20's. We have gone out on about 5 'date' type things- mostly going to party type/group settings together or day things. One night we went out, just us.

So I think he likes me- he'll call and ask me to do stuff and likewise I'll ask him out to do things with me. All my girlfriends have been nosey and asked me if we have kissed etc.- no we haven't. But I feel like we haven't gone on any proper 'dates' where something like a kiss would arise. But on the same side I am NOT the flirty type at all. I'm very chill and outgoing, but it feels so unnatural to me to get close to someone and randomly go in for a kiss. And half the time I am the one picking him up and dropping him off at his place.

At the same time HE isn't a very 'flirty' guy either. He is really great and funny and normal with other people. I have been around guys who are quick to always compliment a lady always seem to set up situations where you are close. Not this guy.

I guess I'll just wait and see? I like this guy and every time we do something he always says I'll call or see you later and such- and he does. We do something maybe like once a week and we always have fun. Eh i'm just bad at this I guess

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Bad. No. Just inexperienced.


You really need to set up proper 1 on 1 dates. Nothing to do with groups of people. You cant really engage in making out or even just basic kissing if you are with a group. Just needs to be you two alone with nobody else around that you know. Sets the mood to be set solely on yourselves. And there is no rush to kiss and make out asap. You do it when you feel you want to. And he does not have to be the one to initiate a kiss. Feel free to kiss him instead. But obviously only attempt it when your on a proper date and therefore only the two of you as it would make you feel awkward kissing a guy in a group setting.

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Also; maybe very subtle but important is to gain intimacy in other ways first. Like above, the closure is one. Then the touch. Hands or body. Then increase the frequency. It'll improve on Distance. The physical distance between you and him when you talk and how comfortable you feel at getting closer. Then, cuddling. Hugging is one, but short hugs are more like touching. Finally, the kiss. Cheek, forehead, hand, anything but the lips.


I'm 100% positive that after you've gone through all of this, if you haven't kissed yet, if you do it, it will feel so naturally that you'll think it's too easy to be true.

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^yeah your right. I'm not much of a 'hand holder' girl, but I don't think I have even touched him once.... I just realized that some other guys I have been date/friends with were the kind that will just up and give you a shoulder massage type of people. I'll see what I can do

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