AvonRepus Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 I just saw my husband changed his status to "in a relationship" on facebook. It's been 3 weeks since he moved out,we haven't even file for divorce yet and he has the guts to change his status. I am so mad,that caught me off guard and I am shaking. I want to call him and yell at him but I don't know what to do. I am so mad!!! I am falling apart again. Link to comment
mouseno4 Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Its only Facebook. It does not require ''guts'' to do something as simple and easy as change your status. You need to stop relying on networking sites and prevent them from running your life. If he posted a photo on Facebook with himself and another girl whom you have never seen before - you would also jump to the conclusion that this is his new girl and immediately want to call and blast him for it. This is a sign you are becoming too reliant on Facebook and should really step back or you will suffer endless torment and pain from every little detail that happens on it. Link to comment
ToF Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 What would calling him accomplish? Try writing an angry email and sending it to yourself. Or pretend he's there with you and yell at him like you want to. Trust me, it'll make you feel more calm. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Sounds like there's a method to his madness. Be the bigger person , and don't give him the honor of having this upset you. Allow him to make a fool out of himself, while you make a vow not to stoop to his level. Link to comment
AvonRepus Posted July 10, 2011 Author Share Posted July 10, 2011 It just makes me go crazy. He proudly announces "In a relationship" while most of our family and friends don't even know that we are not together anymore. I just feel so humiliated and offended. I feel like he spit in my face that way,I assume because it's his girlfriend giving him hard time .He shows me and everybody else on that damn social network that our marriage didn't matter that much as his new fling or whatever it is. Link to comment
ToF Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 I just feel so humiliated and offended. I feel like he spit in my face that way I can definitely see why you would feel this way, but I think the less you take ANY of his actions personally, the better off you'll be. Link to comment
CarnelianButterfly Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 If I were his friend and saw him list his girlfriend on Facebook before getting a divorce, I'd reconsider my friendship. Its more showing of what kind of person he is, how inconsiderate and mean spirited. Be the better person. Don't let his juvenile actions provoke you. Think about it, he's announcing to the world he's a cheater, he's doing you a favor, people are going to know exactly what kind of man he is. Link to comment
Danny77 Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 God! What a tool! I'm so sorry for you. You are gonna have to let your family know. What a disrespectful thing to do! Did you end in a bad way? Just be grateful the true colours of his disrespect finally came out. At least you know you are not gonna spend the rest of your life with this jerk. You're gonna find a rad new guy! Link to comment
AvonRepus Posted July 10, 2011 Author Share Posted July 10, 2011 Well we didn't end in a good way I kicked him out after he again insisted he has to go to work even though we both knew he's going to his girlfriend. Since then he's bringing up a whole bunch of petty things to make me look bad and that I was the reason he lied,cheated,took my money,didn't help for my green card and all that. So yeah,definitely end it in a bad way. I am so mad at him,I swear I could of killed him right now. I am glad I am not building family with this person anymore but he keeps hurting me that I can't even catch a breathe.There's something new and painful everyday. Link to comment
csula2004 Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Do yourself a favor: Block him on Facebook. Don't try to find out what he's doing. The only thing you accomplish is making yourself miserable. He's a tool-- don't let him work you like one. Link to comment
rigguy Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Agree with Danny what a TOOL. Might be out of ignorance or just indifference but I personally got jabs like that from every ex post break up. What works for me is sit down, take a couple of breathes, think. Inevitably you will see how stupid this is. Take care Link to comment
sadchick83 Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 I agree with csula, block him right now...You don't need to be a Fly on the wall with his B.S. Just do it for your sanity. FB can be such a joke- really! No normal human being would publish Such crap. He is just getting even for being kicked out of the house. Link to comment
Messiah Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Wow if he put you through all that, you should just eliminate him from your life. It's obvious he has no regard for your feelings, so save yourself the hurt feelings and let him go. Link to comment
petite Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 It's a terrible feeling and he is inconsiderate but thank your lucky stars that you know how he is. Personally, I'd post on his wall (Dear EX Husband, I wish you all the best in your life and future relationship. I am so glad that I no longer have to clean the bathroom after you, unclog the toilet, pick your disgusting socks from the floor, and clean the mirror after you brush your teeth, no need to mention the gas, and odor after you drink. Thankfully - I am free and some other poor woman will now be subject to your filth. All the best, and see you in court) I'd give it time for everyone to see it, then I'd block and delete him. Pretty perhaps, but it would make me laugh if I saw it on someones status. Link to comment
nattpanter Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 To hell with all suggestions on this "wanna-be-noble-strong-and-grown-up-behaviour-bigger-person-bs" everyone is praising... If she wants to send him a final letter to let out some steam and tell him to go to hell, why can`t she? If that is something that is good for you I think you should do it... Do what is right for you, but leave it with that one letter/conversation...anything else is creepy and stalker-ish... Sometimes you have to stand up for yourself and protect your heart EVEN though technically he has not done anything wrong to you by leaving the marriage (you don`t own him or what he feels) Do what is right for you, but remember you are gonna live with it... Good luck! Link to comment
ferna3069 Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 To hell with all suggestions on this "wanna-be-noble-strong-and-grown-up-behaviour-bigger-person-bs" everyone is praising... If she wants to send him a final letter to let out some steam and tell him to go to hell, why can`t she? If that is something that is good for you I think you should do it... Do what is right for you, but leave it with that one letter/conversation...anything else is creepy and stalker-ish... Sometimes you have to stand up for yourself and protect your heart EVEN though technically he has not done anything wrong to you by leaving the marriage (you don`t own him or what he feels) Do what is right for you, but remember you are gonna live with it... Good luck!i did this and yeah it makes u feel better. but after u do this delete him its for the best u need to protect your heart Link to comment
Kitkat973 Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 If it's over, treat it like it's over. Remove him from your facebook, stop checking any of his social networking, etc. All you're going to do is hurt yourself by watching. Link to comment
Blue Spiral Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Most of the divorced couples I know started dating again before the divorce was official--obviously, this is different, as he was apparently having an affair. I don't think you should be surprised, though. If anyone ever attempted to kick me out of my own home, I'd never speak to them again, and I'd do everything I could to kick them out. Link to comment
lavenderdove Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 well, i think it is time to tell friends and family he left you because he was having an affair. That reflects badly on him, not you! and do you have a lawyer? Get a good one. If he just left and put that as his FB status, you should make a screen capture of it and gather any information you can and file for divorce on grounds of adultery. You might be able to keep your green card status if you can prove you had a legitimate marriage and he cheated on you. Judges also look unkindly on adultery, so you might fare better in the divorce if you get evidence of his cheating. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 It's a terrible feeling and he is inconsiderate but thank your lucky stars that you know how he is. Personally, I'd post on his wall (Dear EX Husband, I wish you all the best in your life and future relationship. I am so glad that I no longer have to clean the bathroom after you, unclog the toilet, pick your disgusting socks from the floor, and clean the mirror after you brush your teeth, no need to mention the gas, and odor after you drink. Thankfully - I am free and some other poor woman will now be subject to your filth. All the best, and see you in court) I'd give it time for everyone to see it, then I'd block and delete him. Pretty perhaps, but it would make me laugh if I saw it on someones status. Haha, I like it. I would probably edit it to say: "Dear EX Husband, I wish you all the best in your future relationship. Thankfully - I am free and some other poor woman will now be subject to your filth. All the best, and see you in court." Link to comment
greywolf Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 It just makes me go crazy. He proudly announces "In a relationship" while most of our family and friends don't even know that we are not together anymore. I just feel so humiliated and offended. I feel like he spit in my face that way,I assume because it's his girlfriend giving him hard time .He shows me and everybody else on that damn social network that our marriage didn't matter that much as his new fling or whatever it is. I know it must be humiliating, but he's the one that should feel humiliated. When people see that, they'll think badly of him, not you. Link to comment
greywolf Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 Haha, I like it. I would probably edit it to say: "Dear EX Husband, I wish you all the best in your future relationship. Thankfully - I am free and some other poor woman will now be subject to your filth. All the best, and see you in court." I don't think that's a good idea. First of all, I think facebook drama is pretty lame. No one wants to read what's going on in other people's relationships. Second, it would just make her look petty. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 I don't think that's a good idea. First of all, I think facebook drama is pretty lame. No one wants to read what's going on in other people's relationships. Second, it would just make her look petty. While I don't think it's a great idea, I do sometimes wonder if one has to do one or two flat out honest things before being ready to move on. Link to comment
AvonRepus Posted July 11, 2011 Author Share Posted July 11, 2011 Most of the divorced couples I know started dating again before the divorce was official--obviously, this is different, as he was apparently having an affair. I don't think you should be surprised, though. If anyone ever attempted to kick me out of my own home, I'd never speak to them again, and I'd do everything I could to kick them out. Well,he worked "night shift overtime" for over a month,he went to a "school" in Pensylvania,he got "called in" numerous times these couple months and didn't give a * * * * about anything.He didn't pick up his phone,he never answered my calls or even bothering to tell me if he's going to be home or not. I can't tell how many dinners went into the trash,how many times I changed my outfit and make-up waiting on him to come through the door,can't count the tickets of the movies I bought for us.. That's not what marriage was supposed to look like and every morning when he was coming home to take a shower with a hickey or two and I was there upset,devastated,lonely as hell...he didn't care. He did put me through nightmare,from the beginning of our relationship to this day. I said that before but he had an affair while I was at his parents house taking care of his mom after she had a heart attack...what kind of person does things like this? I don't think I ever knew him. I am so ready to be happy again ,I am so ready not to think about the pain he put me through. Thanks everyone for your support. I do need it! Link to comment
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