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I can't tell if we are friends or could be more than friends...?


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I have a guy friend who is extremely hard to read. We used to hang out over this past winter but then I got busy and stopped being as social and he stopped asking me to hang out. Then recently I went to an event where he was participating, and beforehand I texted him to ask him if he was going to be there. Before this, we hadn't talked for 2 months. He texted back that he'd be there and so I saw him there briefly. Then, to my surprise, he texted me afterward asking if I wanted to hang out the next day. I was busy and could not- but I suggested the day after that. We then hung out and had a good time. In the middle of it, I had this curious idea of kissing him, but I didn't, and I though it odd that I was thinking that.


Then for the next week, we ended up socializing a lot. I am not even sure why- it seemed natural. He invited me to go camping and so I cancelled a date I had with someone else to go. By then, I knew I liked my friend but I didn't and don't know, if anything more than friends should develop, because it seems to complicate things and I don't want to ruin a good friendship. So I figured, let him tell me what he wants, right? Well, during camping we slept next to each other, nothing happened. But then the next day he put his arm around me and it seemed kind of like a joke. I could not figure out if he was being serious. And I did not know how to react, so I didn't say anything or really respond.


Given the history of him going out of touch for long periods of time, and me being unavailable to hang out, I think I have good reason to doubt his availability/interest and he has the same reason to doubt mine. Note, I was genuinely busy and explained that to him- also I was healing from a break-up and not ready to date at that point- at least not anything serious. But I do actually like him. I figure that over time, one of us will have to come clean about it. Or we'll just be friends. I don't want to just ask him. That would be awkward. Do you have any suggestions?

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These situations always need *someone* to speak up first, although you don't have to come right out and say, "I like you and think we should date, what do you think??" Maybe you could bring up the kissing thing to him, to see how he reacts. "Hey, I had this random thought while we were camping...isn't that funny? Or is it?" Or talk about dating: "Hey, where are you at with dating these days...?" Or ask him to do something more date-like, like a really nice dinner or buy tickets to a concert he'd like.


Since you guys were out of touch for awhile, I don't see the your loss of his friendship for awhile would be all that unusual. He'd probably come back at some point.

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Thanks. I feel awkward and don't want to initiate anything to make him feel awkward or make our friendship weird. I am still at a point where I am trying to decide if he is reliable enough for a relationship. He saw on my computer that I am dating online, and I imagine if he likes me, that was a disappointing thing to see. But I am not actually dating anyone, I am just open for dating. Although he doesn't know that.


Thinking about it, I realize we saw each other almost every day this past week. I am confused. I have never spent so much quality time with a guy I am not dating. I have no idea what to say to him.

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