Upset exGF who is living with me, how to do damage control ?

[wanttohavefun]

I've written about my situation before and thought I had a handle on it, but now something I said just blew up in my face.

Dated ex gf for two years, broke up shortly after she moved into my house.\

With the current crappy job market she has a lot of problems getting together money to move out.

We have decided that she will absolutely be out the end of August or I will move out and she can get 2 roommates and rent my house.

Anyway I know that she still wants me/misses me and that she would've loved to marry me and have kids together.

I thought I wanted that with her too, but we broke up because it was too stressful that she lost he rjob, had no money coming in and it freaked me oout.

Anyway I would love to get her out of here sooner than agreed, because even though I have a 3 bedroom house and my ex gf says she is cool with me dating others while she is here, I just feel weird starting a relationship now.

So today I asked her how far along she is making money to move out.

She said she wished she had money again and is doing everything she can to have money/power again.

But then I said something to make her burst out crying.

I told her out my parents are getting old and they want grandkids soon.

She looked at me and said she had loved me a lot and wanted kids /marriage with me and that she is tired of me saying that because its so insulting and hurts. (ive said it a couple other times, but she never reacted so angrily)

 

Anyway she is usually nice and very agreeable and it appears like I finally have made her beyond furious.

How to do I handle this situation so Im not stuck with a very angry in my house rest of the Summer ?

[ToF]

I told her out my parents are getting old and they want grandkids soon.

 

Wow. Well, I saw you as the victim here ... Until I read this. Why would you say something like that? You KNEW that would not be received well.

 

I don't blame her for being furious. You agreed to let her stay at your place, and now you're realizing that, "hey, maybe having my ex-girlfriend whom I just dumped live in my house may not have been the best idea!" So now you're taking your frustration out on her by being hurtful. It's immature, really. If you want her out, just say so.

 

I absolutely agree that there is no reason she should be living in your house. But the fact is, you put yourself in this situation (both the living situation AND the angry ex-gf situation). The best way to do damage control? Swallow your pride and apologize for being unnecessarily hurtful. Then try to talk things out like adults. Tell her that you'd really prefer to live on your own, and that the sooner that can happen, the happier you'd both be. Or, just say, "I need you to move out ASAP; is there anyone you can stay with until you get back on your feet?".

 

Try to look at this from her perspective, and this will probably go a lot more smoothly.

[wicked6018]

whatever you do, don't start a relationship until she is GONE for good and you have no ties to her whatsoever. my fiance and i (of two years) are about to break up i'm pretty sure because he lives with is ex's family and i've reached my breaking point. get her out of there as soon as possible.

[tresqua]

It's your house, she moved, she can move back out to wherever she was before, it's not your problem.