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Not sure if i'm posting this in the right place


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I'm not sure if i should be posting here or in healing - opted for here as i do hope to reconcile at some stage.


I haven't posted for a while, have been enjoying my own company but i still wonder why he (my ex) still can't manage to talk to me after 8 months (not even a hello and we work together). If anyone could maybe help me out a little, i realise that only he knows what going on in his head but confusion is coulding my judgement.


In a nutshell - we split 8 months ago, he was the dumper, wanted some time out to spend with friends, i've kept my distance - give him chance to breath but its frustrating that he's creating an atmosphere at work, still, when i've tried to be friendly - without going over board - and nothing else contributed to the split, i thought that by now maybe things might have started to improve a little.


I have tried to tell myself that he is hurting to, we where together for 2.5 years, i've not exactly 'moved on' but i'm me again - i'm in the right place, i'm happy. I feel as if enough time has passed to maybe start talking again, i just don't know if he wants to completely cut me out of his life and i can't exactly ask him!


I find it hurtful/hard/unessesary that we don't seem to be able to be civil.

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We can't decide for someone else how long it 'should' take to behave a certain way. In fact, we can't even decide FOR them that they 'should' behave a certain way--at all. All we can do is keep our eyes on our own paper and do our best to thrive in our own right.


The ex knows how to reach you if he's ever interested in a conversation. I'd drop the idea that that 'if' must necessarily equate to 'when,' because he may decide that he's better off without ever attempting a friendship with you.


This doesn't need to be interpreted as a cold decision, it might just be the best one for him. That's his call. Your ability to accept and respect his right to that choice is the biggest service you can pay to yourself. You'll thank yourself later.


Head high.

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Thankyou for your response, its helped.


I get tired of the atmosphere at work, i am trying my best, keeping my distance but also behaving as i would with colleagues before the split, i really don't see why it seems to be such an effort for him to even say hello, why he's still seems so uncomfortable with things, i thought the dust might have settled by now, but your right i can't put a time limit on things and just because i feel great doesn't mean that he does, we sometimes don't realise how badly the end of a relationship affects the dumper as we are far to busy hurting and trying to heal, i know i'm not 100% healed just yet - which i partly blame the working with him for, but i feel the best i have done, maybe even ever, just by looking after myself, maybe his silence is a good thing.

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