How do I know?

[Eaton1]

Ok Ill make this as short as possible me an this girl (has a boyfriend) have been hanging out for a few months now, well about 2 weeks ago one of my friends told her I had feelings for her, she then ignored me an acted mad? Well a few days ago she hit me up on facebook wanting to hang out, 2 days later she started texting me an bugging me about hanging out, now what has me lost is that later that night she drove a good 30-40 miles just to be able to see me for about 30mins? Then soon as she left I got a text about how it was so great to see/talk to me again an how I was her only guy friend? She then was like we should do something this weekend, the weekend has came around an she is now playing the ignore game again? It seems like she does this everytime its like she see's me then she ignores me then she dies to see me again? I cant seem to tell if Im in the friend zone or if she has a thing for me?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

There are some people who get a kick out of baiting someone who they know has an interest in them. It is not a good character trait. I would say don't ever see this girl again..she does not sound like a very nice person.

[lizzie2011]

How old is this girl? I agree that there are some people who enjoy being chased. Alternative is that this girl is inexperienced, immature and impatient. First she is mad, then she wants to hang out all the time then she ignores you. She may be expecting a specific response from you and when she doesn't get it she reacts. How did you react to her attention? Is it possible you did something to trigger her reaction. I find guys are usually clueless about what they have done to offend women. Maybe she doesn't know how to act. How long has this been going on. you say she "always" does this. What constitutes "always"

[Eaton1]

She's 17. To be honest when she started wanting to hang out I just acted like it didnt matter to me if we did, then 2 mornings later she texted asking what I had planed for that day, I just told her I wasnt sure yet witch I wasnt. Well later that night she texted me again asking if I was in town, an I was like yeah, so she told me she was on her way an told me to meet her somewhere, then when we meet up but she didnt want to do anything but talk... An this has been happening ever since The last day of school witch was 2 months ago, we never really even talked till I decided to leave early the last day of school an she kept asking me where I was going, so I intived her to come shoot some pool with me an some friends.

[Eaton1]

Its hard to explain its like the way she acts about things shows that she likes me but the way her herselfs acts dosent really show.

[lizzie2011]

Its hard to explain its like the way she acts about things shows that she likes me but the way her herselfs acts dosent really show.

 

This is a really confusing statement. What do you mean the way she acts about things? I don't consider that acting jealous or possessive means conclusively that a person cares about you. In other words if she flares up because you're not giving her attention it may be a general desire for attention as opposed to a specific desire for attention from you because she likes and cares about you. I hope I am explaining myself clearly.

 

Aside from that, this does sound about right for a 17yrs old. So u were being nonchalant? Maybe too cool. She was acting interested when you weren't and when you're interested she is ignoring you and you feel frustrated. What do you mean all she wanted to do was talk?

 

Here's the explanation most beneficial to her. Girl likes boy, girl hears boy likes her back. girl contacts boy. Boy's action not consistent with rumour that boy likes you. This throws girl completely off balance. Maybe boy does not like girl as rumour led her to believe. Girl gives guy several opportunities to indicate interest. Guy still does not respond. girl is frustrated and puts guy on back burner or starts playing game of her own. Girl is now also nonchalant.

 

If you like this girl stop playing games with her. Be yourself all the time. If you want her to go out with you ask her. If she doesn't respond enthusiastically remember that you were doing the same thing. Keep your eyes open because the explanation may be that she is either playing games with you or she is really not into you

[Eaton1]

I really dont know how to explain it... I guess that she throws signs out there but makes them seem like there nothing at the same time? An she just wanted to talk, about her day, her kid, ect. thats y I found it so odd, it kinda just got me thinking that maybe she does have a thing for me? An Im not really trying to play games with the girl Im just sick of being the one doing the chasing, plus she has a boyfriend Im not about to step on that boys feet

[lizzie2011]

She's 17yrs old with a boyfriend and a kid? and you are chasing her? She just wants to talk about her day and her kid? She's sending you signals to get you out with her but once your there she does not follow through? This has been going on for 2 months? You are not about to step on her boyfriend's feet.

 

If someone outlined this scenario to you what would you say? based on what you have said I can't understand what makes you think it would be a good idea to pursue this girl. these signs that you are seeing may just be in your head. She may just want a friend and you see it as something else.

[Eaton1]

Nevermind theres more the story that I dont want to get into on a forum, An I didnt really think Id have to get into it, so Ill just try to figure out it myself...

[mdrnlvdly]

Its very strange behavior to be sure. But if people didn't have strange behavior there wouldn't be the profession of psychology.

 

It may be good for you both if you have a talk and defined both of your boundaries. If you are comfortable being her friend, but wouldn't be opposed to being more, then tell her that. Let her know what you like about her. Tell her you understand she has a boyfriend, but you wanted to let her know that you want to be clear about your intentions and boundaries. If she doesn't feel it for you. No hard feelings.

 

The direct approach is always the best for your own mental health. In the end thats all you have to look after anyway.

[Eaton1]

Thats really not half of the strange behavior. I really dont want to have that talk at this very moment, Im scared Id end up losing her as a friend all togather after her just now talking to me again.

[lizzie2011]

Its very strange behavior to be sure. But if people didn't have strange behavior there wouldn't be the profession of psychology.

 

 

The direct approach is always the best for your own mental health. In the end thats all you have to look after anyway.

 

Agreed. I'm not trying to beat down on u. I'm just trying assist you

[Eaton1]

Ugh... I wish I was giving th power to read minds. lol. So I ran into this girls bestfriend today witch Iv also known for a long time myself, An right off the bat she starts asking me about this girl? So after that I finally had to know y my friend told this girl I liked her an what her reaction to it was, so this girl has had a thing for my friend for a long time now, an she started texting him acting kinda flirty an he said he jus come out an told her. Well he said she texted him back not knowing I liked her an that she was going to stop hanging out with me? This now has me confused even worse now cause she is the one calling me wanting to hang out, an the other night when this guy was with me she waved him off like she only wanted to talk to me? Is there anyway to get her to just come out an say she has a thing for me? I really dont want to just come out an be like whats up an end up losing her as a friend.