Need Some Advice and Help

[superk8y]

I need some advice, I don't know how to deal with the feelings I feel right now and maybe some outsider advice will help me.

 

My husband works in baseball, it's his "dream" that he's wanted since he was a kid, and recently he has started traveling. I feel so empty and alone when he is traveling, plus we have had a few trust issues in the past and those haunt my mind as well and I am always scared of him doing something bad to me or having problems. We have a daughter who is 10 months old and since he has been working in baseball he missed Christmas, New Years, Father's Day, Fourth of July - pretty much every one of her "first" holidays. He was upset about it but not really like I was because it's his "dream" and also it's a cool experience for him because he has freedom and is doing what he wants to do.

 

I am stuck with the kids, the house, the responsibilities, and everything on my shoulders while he is gone and it's just really stressful and I don't know how to handle it. He has been gone this time for 3 weeks already and he was supposed to come home this weekend but they think he's doing a good job and want him to stay - until possibly sometime in August (that's when that league is over) and my emotions were just crushed this weekend. I was happy for him to come home. I don't want to be lonely. I don't want the baby to be without her dad.

 

I am so confused as to what to do about all of this - I feel so emotional and sad and empty when he is gone, and I know although he may feel sad or miss us, it's not the same and he's busy and not empty and not lonely like I am. I have already told him my concerns, etc. and he always tells me that if I really love him I would be happy that he is progressing towards his dream and that I need to look at the big picture and if he moves up he could potentially make a lot of money which is good for the family - but at what expense?

 

I have friends and I have a great family so it's not that I am lonely because I don't have other people to interact with. It's just that I want to be with my family always and not deal with this separation and anxiety but at the same time don't want to ruin his dream! Help

 

Thank you

[wicked6018]

i'm so sorry you're going through this. it really sucks when your man is off doing his own thing, work, hobby, whatever, and you are stuck at home doing nothing, i know. you wonder about if he misses you as much as you miss him, etc. i'd say that you HAVE to let him follow his dream or he will resent you. he is right, it might make a lot of money that could go toward you and your family. just hang in there. as long as he always comes back to you and proves his love to you, i'd say you don't have anything to worry about other than the difficulty of dealing with the loneliness when he is gone. but yes, i know that even that really sucks. good luck!

[coastalgirl]

If there are trust issues, only you know that. My husband did the same although it wasn't baseball. Throughout our 13 year marriage he was always going away. He always stayed longer than

necessary and always had some kind of excuse. If your husband is doing this to make life better for your family and follow his dream, then support him. But, if you feel there may be other reasons that he is away, having more freedom, avoiding his responsibilities and other reasons you need to listen to that.

 

Not saying your situation is at all like mine and I hope it isn't, but..my ex-husband was having many relationships on the side while he pursued his dreams all the while claiming to be a family man. He enjoyed all the freedom way too much and it ruined our marriage. Only you know what your marriage is about. If you suspect he is up to something more than living his dream, you need to trust those instincts.

 

Again, I really hope this is not the case with you. Trust your instincts and be supportive if that is warranted. While he is away, work on your dreams and passions too instead of resenting

him following his dreams, have some of your own.

[chitown9]

I'm just wondering...can someone care for your child for a short time for you to go where he is so that you can spend some time with him?.....chi