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Fork in the road.

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I usually don't do anything like this, But I am pretty desperate at this point in time....

I have been with the man I am "With" for about a year now. When we met I was still in a relationship with my first serious boyfriend. To kind of sum this up.. I hurt them both, pretty badly, I ended up choosing the guy that was not my first love. Well we ended up moving to a bigger city in Pennsylvania, about 5 hours away from my home town. When we first moved in everything was fine and dandy, we were happy and content and so excited to build a life away from our small-town roots. But it has been 4 months since our move, and my boyfriend is MISERABLE. He is 25 and has done nothing truly significant with his life, he refers to himself as a loser, and is very sick with kidney problems. I always try to encourage and motivate him. Since this is my first time being away from home, I have some issues that I need to work on for myself, like getting my own glass of milk, and taking care of my own trash. We got in a huge fight over me being too dependent and he dumped me. He still tells me that he loves me, we still sleep together and live in the same apartment. Now, he has quit his job, deserted his friends, and has pretty much told me that in January he is leaving...with or without me. Should I continue living my life on edge like this... or should I move on. If you love someone would you just up and leave with or without them? would you not talk to them about whats bothering you and tell them to leave you alone? He also accuses me of having sex with other guys and lying to him, which I have NOT had sex with anyone else, and I told him that the lying would stop a long time ago... and it certainly did. I do not really have any friends or family that I can truly discuss this whole situation with. I just feel that I am too young (20 years of age) to be feeling this miserable. Aren't these the best years of my life?

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Do you think it's a lot of action in so little time? It looks like it's quite a shocking chain of events, from what I understand.


Now this special deal he is putting you in is quite special, and I do recommend that you talk more about it in details, and I can understand if you are not commited to this sudden instability and insecurity, because not a lot of people would accept this without even knowing what this is all about in the first place. So a good discussion seems to be a starting point. But then, if this doesn't solve your problem of wondering what will happen next, then maybe it's preferable that you don't stick around, because your worries are there to be trusted. If it's too much for you on paper, then it's likely to be to much in the end as well.


As for your last question, I think that it doesn't necessarily always come true for everyone that their 20s is the best years of their life. People are aging less quickly and I think it's more likely that you will enjoy your 30s even better. In any case, life is changing and it's the reason why it's not always favorable to us at all times.


Finally, please make sure you have made a clear decision before you do it, and I would recommend that you take your time and ask your boyfriend to understand for the delay and that he can as well count on you to follow him a little while after if it's going too quickly for you.


Take care and do ask for help if you need more advice.

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