Ran into my ex, his new girl, all their friends today, and I feel okay!!

[HE16]

My mum took me for a bit of retail therapy, and just my luck, the first shop we go into there's a girl he's been with since me w/ his current girlfriend's best friend. I awkwardly hid behind the clothes rails until they left because they were staring at me - it was a very small shop so it was really obvious.

 

I tried not to let it get to me too much, and had a really nice day. A few hours later, I noticed the two girls walking ahead of us. My mum hurried me accross the road. Looking at them again, I saw that there wsa

a few faces with them that I recognised. Then I saw my ex from behind. I was panicking, so we crossed again and dove into a big shop - surely they wouldn't be in there? I was trying to calm myself down but, turning the corner, who did I walk straight into? Yep, that * * * * . I stood there a bit like a rabbit caught in the headlights. He turned around, saw me, said hi and darted off back to his friends, and I ran to the back of the shop. Some of the girls followed me, quite obviously. They were openly discussing me - right in front of my face and following me around the shop! I'd met these girls maybe once. They were his new girlfriend's best friends.

 

I was practically having a panic attack so my mother quite rightly decided it was time to leave. I cried a little on the way home. I'm glad it happened though, it was bound to happen at some point and at least now I know that he is a)too much of a coward to even look me in the eye, and b)ridiculously immature. As are his friends.

 

So I was sat on Facebook, chatting with some friends. I haven't looked at his profile for a week or two now and was feeling much better for it, but on my newsfeed he'd 'liked' a page about "your ex is an extreme example of a waste of your time." Well, I thought, if he's going to be this immature, then so am I. So I liked an equally insulting page. I know it's childish; but I've been the grown-up throughout the whole thing and I have not been rude, insulting or harsh to him at all. Not even when I really, really should have. I even apologised every time he tried to start an argument with me. Finally, I think, I've started to move on. I've started to hate him. I don't want a person like him in my life. I agree with the page he liked, even!

 

I am quite proud of today... But I'm interested - what was the moment that you finally realised that your ex isn't worth the hassle?

[BriMarie]

Man, I envy where you are and trying to reach that moment at this very time. I've wasted two months of emotion and effort and gotten nothing in return. So today when I offered to "mend" the one issue I said I never would with him, he responded saying he was busy tonight and drinking with the guys tomorrow, so we could talk on Sunday. At that moment, i realized he wasn't worth the hassle. We have had one major issue, I finally bend his way, and he tells me he doesn't have time for me until the end of the weekend? He should have been excited and eager, THEN it might have been worth the effort.

[Mellie]

HE16, it sounds like he's knocking around with a bunch of proper scuzzie mares. Sounds like you had a lucky escape.

 

Onwards, and most definitely upwards

[Robin2904]

: You did very well. It's not easy being in that situation. I was there in May- I ran into the ex with his new girlfriend. We spoke a short time before then. and the jerk failed to mention he had a new girlfriend- KNOWING I would be running into both him and her at an up coming event. You would think he would want to warn me or something...nope. I didn't handle it as well as you. Well to his face I did, I put on an award winning show (Maybe being drunk helped lol) but afterwards I was a wrecks. Cried myself to sleep.

 

There were a few 'Ah ha!' moments when it came to realizing how much of an ahole my ex was. One of which was in January, when I wanted to reconcile, I went out of my way to see him to try to do so and he was SO cold and horrible to me. Treated me like a stranger. It was a defining moment for me and made me realize he wasn't the man he used to be. Then like I said running into him and seeing him with the rebound REALLY made me realize what a jerk he is too. Not for the reasons you may think. Leading up to this run in, he texted me a few times, even made a few flirty remarks to me (Which is why I had NO idea he had a girlfriend) and he even danced with me while his girlfriend was there (Still didn't know about her at the time), he proceeded to tell me how good I looked, and a few days later we spoke and he trashed talked his girlfriend to me. (He broke up with her a few days later)

 

NOW looking back on ALL of it really makes me evaluate his character (Or lack of) and realize what a terrible guy he REALLY is!! I actually feel sorry for the girl he rebounded with, and the next girl he will hook up with. He really treats woman badly. I'm sorry for the next girl.

[AvonRepus]

I started realizing that my husband is not the right man for me a while ago,before our break-up for sure but I am one of those people that fight till the end so I tried to find excuses for his behavior and even turned to be &act like a mom to him. Now I realize that this person can't change because he doesn't want to change. He doesn't see the fault in his actions anymore,he's pretty content because he has all of these low-quality people around him to pump his ego. It so funny though,he used to judge people that acted like him. Very sad.

 

I had a small crush last summer when me and my husband were nowhere near good,I talked to this guy for hours,I dreamed about him when I go to bed and even though he showed mutual interest I never did anything to make it real real. Because I knew it's wrong and hoped it will go away.Well it didn't just go away I forced myself to stop thinking about him for less than a month. I knew I was married and I respected the vows I gave my husband on my wedding day. I forced myself to think it's a phase,that things will get better,that I will get the respect and the appreciation I deserved. Well that never happened,I mean I heard the words I wanted to hear but I never saw the actions.

 

Boy I am so glad I am not building a family with a person like this,I can clearly see myself being pregnant and being so upset that I lose the baby,or being pregnant while waiting on my husband to come home from his out with the mistress. The future will be so dark and evil,I can't bear the thought,what if.

 

I know one thing for sure,I will not be put in a position like this again.I did learn a lot,I am not going to lie,I regret I didn't listen to his ex's mean messages because even as much heartbroken she was,she saw the real him the way I never did till now. How is it possible people around you to see your partner clearly and you didn't? Or maybe I did and didn't listen to the small voices in my head that screamed danger.

 

I can't even talk about the bad things he did,humiliating,hurtful,offensive things. I am surprised I let it go that far but I guess I didn't want to be quitter.I tried to see the good in him.And that's what kept me chained for so long.

 

I wish I can pay it forward but I know it's all about me now. I know where I stand now and I know what I want. I do feel like I learned a lot. And I know it's for the best.

[holymoseph]

Last monday a mutual friend told me he was going around telling people that he wasn't happy because all I did was want to argue all the time. Truth is, HE wanted to argue. I couldn't communicate anything to him w/ out him becoming defensive and yelling. I never understood him. He'd get mad when I'd say something like "I know you want to spend time with your friend while he's in town and I think you should but can we have some alone time for us at some point this weekend? even if ya just want to go to the beach for a few hours." He thought I was trying to control him I guess or something but I just tried to verbalize what was bothering me thinking he'd understand and we could meet somewhere in the middle. But he never could just talk about anything. He had to get defensive, yell and blame everything on me anytime there was an issue.

 

I'd either shut up and let him yell til it was over or I'd apologize for things I didn't even feel like I did wrong just to save an argument.

 

Oh did I mention he cheated on me, begged me back then brokeup w/ me a week later because he's "too selfish" right now.

 

I decided I had enough when it's become so obvious that he's to much of a coward to take any responsibility in what he did and all he wants to do is victimize himself and make me the bad guy.

 

Well then A-hole, say goodnight to the bad guy cz I'm done w/ yo ass

 

 

As for you Miss: It's pretty obvious he and his posse are immature. Also, why are these girl following you and talking about you. Where's the threat? She has him now, why should they care if your there UNLESS they know he's not over you and their resentful. Their relationship won't work doll. Trust me.

 

My philosophy in life is you don't have to do anything to anyone to get even because most the time people are stupid enough to create their own karma, all you have to do is sit back and watch them do it. Have patience lil grasshopper. Your mom sounds amazing btw. My mom always took me shopping when I was down too. That sucks that your ex had to ruin such a good day. You did the right thing though by ignoring them. Classy. Unlike them.

[HE16]

Wow guys. I was feeling really down when I woke up this morning.

Then I read this and felt better. Very optimistic and stuff.

Then I see on his blog, "Everything about you makes me laugh. At you."

 

Now I have the whole, "He was the one for me, I've lost out, forever alone, * * * * my life, I want to cry and crawl into a hole" feeling again. * * * * .

[HE16]

I started realizing that my husband is not the right man for me a while ago,before our break-up for sure but I am one of those people that fight till the end so I tried to find excuses for his behavior and even turned to be &act like a mom to him. Now I realize that this person can't change because he doesn't want to change. He doesn't see the fault in his actions anymore,he's pretty content because he has all of these low-quality people around him to pump his ego. It so funny though,he used to judge people that acted like him. Very sad.

 

EXACTLY my ex. He used to absolutely hate people like himself, we even got into arguments because he had such strong feelings on it. I am glad that you've accepted and learned from this - I wish I could be in such a good place! I don't want to give up either, I always saw the good times and thought if I could bring that back, I could bring him back. I still do.

[HE16]

Yay! I'm happy for you holymoseph. I think that we only really see cowardice after someones messed you around like that - my ex doesn't even have the guts to say anything mean to my face, nope, that all has to be done via technology.

 

That's what I thought! There was no need for them to freaking stalk me. They knew all the bad things he had said about me so I'm guessing it was just because I was there and they find stuff like that fun? Idk. At least I know that his relationships won't work until he changes. It's a small comfort Yeah, I've tried to be classy. I've lost a lot of dignity but at least I'm mostly maintaining my silence on the whole thing and at least seeming like I've moved on. My mum is absolutely brilliant My whole family have been. This makes me realise how much I need them!

 

Robin - what an ass! You got out whilst you could! I've always known he wasn't the person that I loved and hasn't been for a while, but it took yesterday for me to finally know that that person wasn't coming back any time soon. So long as you handled it well to his face, that's the best thing you can do I think

 

BriMarie - I did something similar, I promise it gets easier. It's only been a month for me, but a month of wasting my life, failing my summer exams (£50 for resits? May consider billing my ex) and moping around, all whilst making the effort to stay friends, only to have it thrown back in my face was a wake up call.

He is not worth your time or effort, not even a stray thought. You deserve so much better!

 

Mellie - he most definitely is. I used to think that they were nice people, at least... immature cowards, more like.