Massari Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 Hello All I have been seeing my gf for a month or so now, she indicates that she's not a phone a person , but i do expect 2 phone calls a day or so. We are both busy. I give you an example. I like her to call me in the morning when she wakes up. she normally just texts me and that's it and we keep texting throughout the day. On the days that we will see each other at the end of the day i don't mind if we don't talk but a day like today which i know i won't see her i would expect some kind of phone talk so i can just hear her voice. She just texted me: Her: I am not going to text you all the time my love Me: I am not saying text me all the time, just one your break sweetheart Her: not always my love, I am not a huge phone person Me: ok baby Her: doesn't mean I am not missing you or thinking about you baby *kiss* me : smile kiss I love you her: I love you too baby and i love when you understand me so here is the brief portion of our recent text conversation. I am crazy for her and would do anything to make her happy and i know she's the one for me, The time that we are spending together physically is great but when i don't see her that's when it bothers me. She doesn't feel like it's necessary to see each other everyday as she thinks it's good to miss each other . I told her regardless if i see you everyday or not I still miss you. But bottom line it's making me a little sad and wonder what i can do about this. I love her and i want to understand her, but at the same time when i don't hear from her it starts to play with me and gets me upset sometimes. has anyone been in a situation similar and if so what kind of communications did you have to resolve this? many thanks in advance Link to comment
Stay_home Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 As long as there's some form of contact/communication between you two, that's really all that matters. You cannot force her into talking to you on the phone every night or every morning. Some people are really just not phone people. Even though she's not, I'd still call every now and then even if it's for 15 or 20 minutes because you can't have a relationship through text. Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 It sounds like youre in the classic love avoidant/love addict relationship. Personally, if a person wanted two phone calls a day from me it would be a red flag. You cannot make her contact you and instead she should want to contact you rather than you forcing her to do it. What is working against you is your insecurity and you need to work on that. Link to comment
Blue Skittles Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 Enjoy the time that you do have with her and the contact you do have. Don't push her on this or you will appear clingy, and that might scare her away. Just be cool and focus on being independent while you are not with her. Link to comment
Massari Posted July 8, 2011 Author Share Posted July 8, 2011 You cannot make her contact you and instead she should want to contact you rather than you forcing her to do it. . This is exactly why i posted here, if this is not the case, i mean at this point and time seems like she likes to text one here and there, sometimes i.e last night she sleeps without saying goodnight to me, all this is adding to my mind and i just don't wanna be upset over something that's possibly not that important. Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 It isnt important if she texts you goodnight before she goes to sleep that isnt an indication of anything other than she fell asleep. When she doesnt contact you at all then you have a problem but let her communicate with you at her own pace, pushing for more is only going to make her not want to communicate with you. Link to comment
mouseno4 Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 2 phone calls a day? Your serious? Bit much for me I'm afraid. Link to comment
Massari Posted July 9, 2011 Author Share Posted July 9, 2011 wow i had no idea 2 phone calls a day is too much, so when things like this get to my head, what should i do? sometimes it drives me crazy, like i have back to back cigarettes , have a drink , something to ease my mind but still pissed off. ](*,) Link to comment
sunnz Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 You're sounding way too needy and sound a little controlling as well..a Taurus or Cancer by any chance ? lol I am not a phone person either infact my current ex and I never even talked on the phone ever...just texted...emails and face to face...he wanted to when we first were getting to know each other but I told him I am not a phone person and he really wasn't either...I feel awkward...although another ex we did infact talk on the phone too many times a day but then again he was working interstate all the time... Anyway...to me talking on the phone means I am bound on that phone and won't be able to do the things I need/want to do because I am...well on the phone lol... Asking for 2 phone calls a day sounds bizarre...I mean don't you just phone when you want...why the precise number 2 ? It will make her feel like you are checking up on her in a controlling way if you tell her to call at precise times of day... Maybe she is someone who likes her personal space a lot...? Just relax about it and be happy that she is communicating at least the way she feels comfortable... Link to comment
dramallama Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 wow i had no idea 2 phone calls a day is too much, so when things like this get to my head, what should i do? sometimes it drives me crazy, like i have back to back cigarettes , have a drink , something to ease my mind but still pissed off. ](*,) That does sound needy. As if you might have a panic attack if you don't get your two phone calls or something. Link to comment
Tresha Posted July 10, 2011 Share Posted July 10, 2011 I don't talk to anyone on the phone twice a day. I don't talk to anyone on the phone once a day. The times my husband and I have been apart for whatever reason, we usually do talk in the evenings before bed, but if one falls asleep or had a bad day and doesn't want to talk, its no big deal. People who aren't phone people dislike phones and phone conversations. I taught my mom to text, and we get together for lunch once per week. If she needs me otherwise, she texts and I'll gladly come running ... I'm just not likely to pick up the phone. Link to comment
Massari Posted July 10, 2011 Author Share Posted July 10, 2011 These are very helpful. I guess what's affecting all this and playing in my mind was partly cause of my previous experiences in which all these that mentioned eventually lead into infidelity and being cheated on, simply cause she was talking to a 3rd person behind my back. I am more composed after talking with her and sorting some stuff including this out. Our communication about any issue is really good and I am glad, so far we talked everything out and i think that's how it should be. P.S I am Aquarius . Link to comment
sidehop Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 Don't question her motives though, you're probably trying to get some sort of validation by her accepting/rejecting the phone calls. If she doesn't like it though then I would find other ways to contact her. Some people really aren't comfortable with phones. Link to comment
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