Oh WOW. I almost messed it all up.

[20pence]

Hi guys

 

Been NC for just over a month now.

 

I have my good days & bad...mostly bad at the moment but things are slowly getting a bit better. I thought I was making progress...how wrong I was.

 

How stupid is this? After the last month of ALOT of hard work I was about two seconds away from sending a text to C (my ex)...not even about anything, just about a tv program. I feel really desperate to talk to him today. And feel very pathetic for this: I don't want him to forget about me, after all, I haven't forgotten him. That's not fair.

 

Had to turn my phone off. Why, why, WHY is it so hard to fall back into a trap? Why is it so easy to convince yourself (even after so much hard work) that contacting them would be a good idea? How silly. I feel really set back today.

 

Could anyone give any good ideas NOT to contact an ex? Just so the next time i'm feeling weak I can look back at this?

Or any good advice for dealing with the temptation of contact?

 

Thanks, guys

 

G x

[Dice7]

Read the link on dramallama's sign off about NC. It's really good.

[LazyDaisy]

1. They might not answer you - then you will feel really bad.

2. They might answer you - which leads to communication which leads to getting back together, which eventually leads to another break up and then you really are back to square one.

[20pence]

Read the link on dramallama's sign off about NC. It's really good.

 

Thank you - I'm reading it at the moment, it's very, very helpful!

 

G x

[magnoliatree]

Delete his phone number!

[holymoseph]

I agree with all the advice above. Deleting his number is definitely essential. If you don't want to lose it forever, write it down and tuck it away somewhere Far where you'd have to actually put effort into finding it. That way in a moment of weakness you'll have to actually THINK about the effort your putting in and what it's costing you before you actually do it.

 

Also, you have to consider this. If he isn't contacting You then he isn't interested in hearing from you. Point blank. I know it's a harsh reality but accepting this will help. If he wants to get in contact with you he will.

 

Texting/calling him doesn't do anything but reaffirm that he still HAS YOU! What comfort for HIM that must be. He doesn't have to worry about you or contemplate getting in touch with you anytime soon because he knows your still there waiting. Even if it's just a simple text. He knows he's on your mind.

 

Live to the philosophy that if he doesn't want you then he can't have any of you.

 

That's not to say someday you two can't be friend or that there isn't any kind of future. But for now, as long as ONE of you are not over the other NC is crucial.

 

Good luck darln'. Your definitely not alone here. I'm right there with ya struggling at times

[Dice7]

I second that. you're definitely not alone. after today (getting the rest of my stuff back) i suspect I will need to start NC for good...and i feel completely panicked by that.

 

hope you're hanging in. Hugs.

[BabyO]

I am in the same boat, basically woke up crying. I really want to contact him today. It has been 31 days of NC and 40 since the break up. It is a beautiful summers day out, and I all I want to do is have him by my side and go on a picnic etc... I can't believe that he does not miss me. I can't believe that he does not think that this BU is a huge mistake. If he left me for someone else I could make sense of this all. But, just because our relationship was a LDR I can't.

 

Like you DICE7 I have stuff at this place. But, I can't even bring myself to contact him to go and get it. I don't understand why he is not calling me and asking me to pick it up?

 

I am so depresssed that I have forced myself to look for another. Joined a dating site and have a date tonight. I don't even want to go, but the H*ll if I am staying home crying agian. I am sooooooooooooooooo confused!

[20pence]

About to send you a pm.

 

G x