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Clearly I'm missing something here...

latitudezero

By latitudezero
in Dating Advice

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latitudezero Contributor

latitudezero

Posted
Posted

What exactly are women looking for? I mean I'm a decent looking guy (people tell me I'm handsome), have a great career, I'm well educated, I'm a competitive ballroom dancer, I'm tall, well traveled and cultured, I've been told I'm very funny and a great storyteller, I can hold a conversation, I'm nice to a fault, and I always treat others with the utmost respect. However I just feel like every girl I meet whom I find remotely attractive (and I don't just mean physically) seems completely disinterested in me. I don't really have any problems getting dates per say, but every girl I go out with eventually says to me "you're a really great guy but... (followed by one explanation or another...)."

 

Every girl I know wants to be my best friend. I know its a compliment and I'm happy that my female friends think of me as someone they can confide in, but I don't want nor do I need a best friend, that position is taken. I just feel like I'm stuck running in place and have no way of finding love no matter how hard I try. It makes me feel like there must be something missing or wrong with me that turns women away.

 

Anyways, thanks for listening to my little vent...

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mouseno4 Explorer

mouseno4

Posted
Posted

Most women must go through the trash before learning that fact and then going after the real guys. Very few girls have one boyfiend from their teenage years that lasts forever. Majority of them chase after the losers until they get hurt and finally chase after the good guys.

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Beluga23 Apprentice

Beluga23

Posted
Posted

maybe you're coming off as a little too nice and a little too available? Or... do you tend to ask girls out after you get to know them for awhile? I know that once i get to know a guy too well, it's impossible for us to become any more than friends.

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Mustachio Collaborator

Mustachio

Posted
Posted
maybe you're coming off as a little too nice and a little too available? Or... do you tend to ask girls out after you get to know them for awhile? I know that once i get to know a guy too well, it's impossible for us to become any more than friends.

 

On the other hand, is it possible that all you ever make the move for is friendship? I have a friend who has female friends but always ends up just as friends and I think on his end part of the reason is he doesnt ever push towards anything more. Just a thought, you did mention you go on dates and it usually ends with them saying they arent interested, so I dont know. Perhaps you are pursuing the wrong type of woman?

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piruru Enthusiast

piruru

Posted
Posted

1. Are you looking at the wrong women? By this, I mean the women that aren't ready to be in a relationship with a "nice guy" because they think it's boring/unattractive, etc. Basically, they are emotionally immature women who don't know what they really want yet. The women who are attracted to you may not be as "attractive" as these other women at first glance, but they can give you the love that you're looking for.

 

2. What are YOU looking for? Perhaps you're just having fun, you're not looking for a committed relationship (commitment phobia or whether you're just not that into them) and women can sense that. I once dated a guy who kept telling me that he wanted a long term relationship, but deep down, I knew that he wasn't the commitment type, because I just never felt that from him. It turned out my hunches were right. I might add that he was really into himself too, and somehow I get a similar vibe from your post. He also had a lot of women who wanted to be best friends with him.

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Java731 Newbie

Java731

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Maybe you should ask this question to the "women" that you date. It's a pretty straightforward, common question asked by a lot of guys.. "SoOoOo... what are you looking for?"

Because it's such a vague question.. As much as I want to answer it, and speak for all the women out there, we're all different in terms of what we want from a guy. And the age/experience/situation we're in plays a big factor.

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dali Newbie

dali

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Posted

Maybe your being overly nice to the point where it's killing sexual attraction, respectful is one thing but overly nice is what friends do.... Could also be your radar is a bit off in judging mutual attraction ?

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