She would be honest right?

[hockeydfndr14]

My ex broke up with me about a month ago and I am worried something might have happened to cause it, like her kissing or making out with someone. She has always been real honest with me about everything and she has never lied or cheated on a boyfriend before. She would always hold back the small things to make sure I didn't get upset, like if I cooked something that was bad. But she also would avoid telling me what was wrong if she was upset about something because she didn't want to make a big deal out of it. I had to drill her to find out.

The reason she says we broke up is that I was upset all the time and I got jealous about her ex always trying to talk to her. A couple of things which caught my attention is she stopped being physical with me for about a month. We still made out but nothing more usually. Later she asked me to stop fingering her because she said it hurt. Honestly, I do not know what I am doing in that department lol. I asked her about the non physical and she said it was because I wasn't being myself and that I was always upset. I just feel like she is leaving something out of the break up. I really want to know but I don't want to confront her about it, or should I? Its killing me and I really want to know if something like this happened. I'm afraid she might be holding it back to make sure I don't get overly upset.

Am I just being insecure and over analytic? Thanks for any input.

[DieYoung]

Try not to dwell on it. The fact is she doesn't want to date you anymore, so why waste emotional energy analyzing it when it's over. You don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you, so look for someone who appreciates you, who treats you the way you deserve to be treated. Forget about her, she's in your past now. Try your best to pick up your self esteem and move on.

 

The only reason I'd talk to her about this is if she wants to get back together, and if you still think she's hiding something then she's not worth dating. Relationships require trust and communication.

[Stay_home]

The reason she says we broke up is that I was upset all the time and I got jealous about her ex always trying to talk to her.

 

That's not very reasonable of her, considering that you're in a committed relationship. If anything, it seems like she really did you favor.

[hockeydfndr14]

The break up has been really hard for me the last 3 or 4 days. I think my insecurities * * * * ed it up and I really miss her. I'll eventually get over it. I'm just venting I guess. I see what y'all are saying and I really do appreciate it. Hopefully soon I can put you guys' advice to good work.

[tresqua]

Most people who are dumped never get answers and closure because either the dumper doesn't want to go through the effort to explain it, or since they've already moved on they just don't want to bother because to them you're not worth the time and effort and the discomfort of rehashing everything.. or, they don't want to cause you greater pain by saying something like "sorry I found a better guy", or they just weren't feeling it anymore and there's no specific reason that they can really put their finger on.

 

You really need to just forget about getting answers for all of those reasons and just work on yourself and your insecurity issues because they probably had a lot to do with her dumping you, whether or not there was another guy, or she went back with the ex, or you're not so good in the "fingering" department, or whatever. Insecure is unattractive and it's not gender specific.

[stuka80]

she pulled the wool right over your eyes. she's been lying to you about the lack of intimacy. She already had someone else before she even broke up with you and used lame excuses to soften the blow, you dodged a bullet man trust me.

[Java731]

I know it's not hard to just "move on" without really knowing why and what happened. You want a detailed explanation for the reason being dumped, yet her statements were too generalized. I would think that she would need to explain more than just "you aren't being yourself and you always get upset." For example, how are you not being yourself? How and why are you getting upset? (Is it just about her ex or is there more?)

 

To be honest, if she really cared to make the relationship work, she would have at least tried to work on it with you before calling it quits.

But the fact that she went straight to the break up tells me she was over it while still dating, and didn't care for it. That explains her half ass explanations of why it's over.

Can I ask you why you're wanting to know now, whether she's done something behind your back, after a month of break up?

I don't know if it would do you any good knowing about it since time has passed, and it may not be necessary.. It may be best to just forget and move on.

But if you really need to know, and can't find the urge... I suggest you talk to her and ask her, but let her know that you will not be getting upset and you just want to know the truth.