How do you go back to being friends?

[ohtimorousme]

Things didn't work out between me and the guy i liked for unknown reasons even though the sparks were there. We've known each other for six years, so i feel like i can't just stop talking to him like i have with previous guys where things didn't work out. When i see him now, he's still super friendly with me waves at me, says hi, talks to me, offers me a drink(this is when i'm at his store). I find this all to be a little strange because in the past guys just stopped talking to me or acknowledging my existence if things didn't work out. But, maybe he's wanting the same thing too?

 

I just feel kind of weird right now at the thought of even texting him a simple "hi, how are things going?" to him. How do i go back to being good friends with him? Is this a one day at a time type deal?

 

Has anyone had any experiences with this sort of thing?

[msblueeyzz]

That is a tough question because of not knowing what you are feeling toward him at this point. If you are ready to just be friends again and feel comfortable I would talk to him. Be open and honest about what you want and see what happens. It doesn't seem like there is anything to lose here.

I have gone through a similar situation and I was just open with him and told him that I still wanted to be friends. Just know that if he feels the same way then it will be fine.

If you are not really ready to just be friends then that is another problem that you need to face beforehand.

Either way good luck!

[ohtimorousme]

That is a tough question because of not knowing what you are feeling toward him at this point. If you are ready to just be friends again and feel comfortable I would talk to him.

 

I feel better about it then i did in past weeks. I have moments where i miss him, and the teasing, flirting, and the little things he used to do.

It's getting better though, since i haven't seen him in a couple of weeks now i'm able to use the time to get over him.

[Yaz]

You don't. No contact for life. And if you have to see him at work or something, just act like you've never met him.

 

I recently cut off a friend of over 10 years for this. If he respected the friendship, he would not have entered into a relationship with you.

[ohtimorousme]

You don't. No contact for life. And if you have to see him at work or something, just act like you've never met him.

 

I recently cut off a friend of over 10 years for this. If he respected the friendship, he would not have entered into a relationship with you.

 

 

We weren't really in a relationship, just went on a few dates, and hung out a lot around friends for several months beforehand.

 

I don't know about that, i mean some of the best relationships come from being good friends first. And there's always going to be risk involved when you start dating someone you've been friends with for so long, but if you think it's worth the risk i don't see why you couldn't.

[Seymore]

I've been going through it for the last year. A girl I worked with and I went on a couple of dates last summer - we were mutually attracted and all but she wasn't ready to really DATE date someone so that was that. I pulled back and we stopped hanging out, but we still wound up having to work on some projects together and the laughing and joking and friendship came back a couple of months later. She'd stick up for me and I'd stick up for her. I knew that she had a new guy and I don't move on involved women, so I knew I didn't stand a chance, but when she wound up in the hospital a couple of months ago I would visit her right after work, think of sweet (but not romantic) things to do for her on her birthday and things like that. I genuinely was okay with just being friends and I care about her as such.

 

Her last day at work was today and so last week I wrote her a letter telling her that I was truly happy for her (I was), and that just knowing she was at work made my day a little brighter all this time. I confessed that despite how last summer turned out, she was always still my office crush, I just never let it out anymore because I knew she had a new guy and I respected that and told her she deserves someone good. She just wrote back today (after her last day let out) apologizing for the late response, but saying she's terrible with goodbyes and said I had been as sincere and sweet to her as it gets during our time working together and that she will always be there for me and I can call her anytime and she will keep in touch. And I even told her that even IF I happen to never hear from her again, I genuinely wish her the best. And that's the truth.

 

If something happened and she wanted to try again, I'd love to. However, I just enjoy talking and having fun with her, period, so friendship isn't that bad. 9 times out of 10 in my life, when things just didn't work out, I'd never talk to the girl again, like you said in the first post. But this time I was okay with it after a while. I think part of what helps me this time is that there is another girl I'm into, so my energy isn't completely focused on this one girl.