JLKLEE Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over 2 years. He has lied to me a couple times (in regards to girls and other things) and it has caused some tension in our relationship. I cant help, at times, to not believe him. Well on Monday, he got up early to go for a run. I went to the bathroom and his phone was sitting on the counter so I decided to look. When he lied to me I would look often, since his phone would be how I caught him lying. There were some things that bothered me. First of all, there is this girl that works at the apartment complex he recently moved in to. She helped him out by extending the time he could get $50 off the application fee and he returned the favor by giving her some gift certificates to his restaurant. Ok, thats cool...no big deal. Well I saw her number stored in my phone. Its not a HUGE deal, but I'm like "why does he need her number??". They arent friends. If he needed something from her in regards to the apartment, that is what her office phone is for. I told him that I wasnt mad but that I do not get guys numbers that have little importance in my life and I would appreciate it if he returned the courtesy. Then I saw some texts from this older man that comes into his restaurant quite often. The first one said "come to the pool. bring your girl. the nice one" and the other said "I like your girls. shes got spunk. good for you". Ok first of all, I have NEVER met this guy before in my life. So obviously I was not happy about the second text message and what exactly does the other mean...."bring your girl...the nice one". That is rude. All these thoughts were racing through my head. His response was that the guy is really weird and that he was not sure what he meant. The rest of the week just added a cherry on top for me. He dismissed my feelings when I tried to explain to him about not feeling comfortable with him getting girls numbers for no reason. Also, I asked him if he could combine our change jars to save for something for "us" and he acted like it was this huge committment for him to do that. I just feel like he is not committed to this relationship at all. Link to comment
DN Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 What would be the 'something for us'? Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 I'm not sure if you want advice, or just to vent, but if you were my BFF, I'd shake you silly until you dumped this clown. Clearly from the texts from the old guy, he's been out with another girl, and someone that the old guy considers a gf-type. What do they mean, you ask? The first one means that your BF has told this guy he's cheating on you with the girl the old guy met, and that you are not as "nice" as her, and he has complained about you. The other line means that the other girl has a lot of moxie, which the old guy likes, and he is encouraging their relationship and wishing your BF well with her. Cmon. You've not trusted him for a while, as you said. Not sure what more evidence you need that he's a slime. Link to comment
JLKLEE Posted July 8, 2011 Author Share Posted July 8, 2011 What would be the 'something for us'? A trip, maybe a relaxing day out, a nice dinner... Link to comment
JLKLEE Posted July 8, 2011 Author Share Posted July 8, 2011 I'm not sure if you want advice, or just to vent, but if you were my BFF, I'd shake you silly until you dumped this clown. Clearly from the texts from the old guy, he's been out with another girl, and someone that the old guy considers a gf-type. What do they mean, you ask? The first one means that your BF has told this guy he's cheating on you with the girl the old guy met, and that you are not as "nice" as her, and he has complained about you. The other line means that the other girl has a lot of moxie, which the old guy likes, and he is encouraging their relationship and wishing your BF well with her. Cmon. You've not trusted him for a while, as you said. Not sure what more evidence you need that he's a slime. The ONLY thing that lowers my suspicion A LITTLE BIT is that he is always working. HOWEVER, I do not know what he does when he is home and the girl that works at the apartment complex just moved in, conveniently, in the apartment right below him. Link to comment
JLKLEE Posted July 8, 2011 Author Share Posted July 8, 2011 He just keeps making these comments that really upset me and then when I bring them up he says I took them the wrong way. Like one night at dinner I asked him if he would be ok to have sex with me the rest of his life and he tells me "that is really weird to think about". Maybe not the WORST thing in the world, but certainly doesnt make me feel good. Link to comment
DoGGYtREAts Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 It really sounds to me (correct me if im wrong here) that you already have your answer and were looking for someone to tell you that everythings okay and that you're all wrong about him? I really don't know what to tell you. He's already broken your trust The most fundemental element of any healthy relationship, So you feel uncomfortable. Understandable. Based on this you decide to look thru the phone where you find Evidence that he is continuing to break any trust that may be left... Peronally... I don't know why he's still in your life at all at this point. Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 The ONLY thing that lowers my suspicion A LITTLE BIT is that he is always working. HOWEVER, I do not know what he does when he is home and the girl that works at the apartment complex just moved in, conveniently, in the apartment right below him. Again, I'm not sure how much more evidence you need with this guy. You've seen messages from someone telling your BF to bring his GIRL somewhere. Who is not you (you're the not nice one, remember). Meaning that your BF is parading some other girl around town on his arm while complaining about you at the same time. When you're ready, you'll face this. Link to comment
thejigsup Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 C'mon girl...wake up and smell the coffee!!! He has another gf and he has told at least this old guy that she is "nicer" than you. I would be plain ol' insulted. No one treats me like that! Link to comment
tresqua Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 A trip, maybe a relaxing day out, a nice dinner... That's a heck of a lot of change. Link to comment
xiRoCb294 Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 Don't stay with a man who isn't honest with you. You deserve better. Link to comment
wicked6018 Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 those texts make it pretty obvious that he is cheating on you. dump him. you can do MUCH better. Link to comment
bulletproof Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 Like one night at dinner I asked him if he would be ok to have sex with me the rest of his life and he tells me "that is really weird to think about". I would not like it if someone asked me a question like that. It's fishing for a specific answer and I would find that annoying. Judging from other threads you've started, why do you continuously check this guy's phone? Either trust him or break up with him. All you're doing now is attempting to control him, which clearly isn't working. Link to comment
hexaemeron Posted July 11, 2011 Share Posted July 11, 2011 I would not like it if someone asked me a question like that. It's fishing for a specific answer and I would find that annoying. Judging from other threads you've started, why do you continuously check this guy's phone? Either trust him or break up with him. All you're doing now is attempting to control him, which clearly isn't working. Broken Woman Syndrome Case #32390238290 Link to comment
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