Mexii426 Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 So, I just got broken up with on the 4th. I was shocked. He called n said he was on his way in a weird way so of course I was worried. When he showed up, I opened his door and his face was saddened with his lip quivering like he was going to cry. He told me he had no time right now to be the man I needed him to be and needed time to do the things he needed to do after he got out of work. (he does landscaping, 7:30am to 7pm) I haven't talked to him for about a week. I really want to go over to his house just to see him but idk if I should.. Advice please? Link to comment
Mellie Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 Don't just show up at his house. Bad idea. Did this come completely out of the blue? Link to comment
Escargot Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 Have a friend come over and duct tape you to the couch so you are unable to twitch, much less walk. Do not go over there. I repeat, do not go over there!!! Link to comment
Mexii426 Posted July 7, 2011 Author Share Posted July 7, 2011 No, we have been frustrated after we both have been working so much for about 3 wks b4 the breakup. I just want to work it out.. Link to comment
Mellie Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 Well, if he's said what he's said, you really need to let him have some space. Showing up there would do nothing to improve matters - for him or for you. It just makes you look needy. Link to comment
Mexii426 Posted July 7, 2011 Author Share Posted July 7, 2011 I just need a legit reason to not show up! What do I have to lose? Link to comment
Escargot Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 I just need a legit reason to not show up! What do I have to lose? Your dignity. Your sanity. Your chances of reconciliation if you guys start arguing. You will look needy and you will beg out of desperation for him to reconsider. Give him time and space, and let him come to you. Link to comment
Mellie Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 If you (a) want to get back together or (b) get over him, in neither case, should you show up at his house. Firstly he's told you he doesn't have the time right now - you showing up there and forcing yourself on him - it's not going to bring about some remarkable change, it just makes you look high maintenance and a bit desperate. Plus you want to retain every shred of dignity you can in this situation. Showing up there is an incredibly bad idea - there are lots of reasons if you stop and think. Link to comment
Mexii426 Posted July 7, 2011 Author Share Posted July 7, 2011 yah that's the logical thing to do, stay home and wait,, but it's also the painful way. I do want to get back together because I love him so much and it wasn't a bad breakup. So wait? Link to comment
ToF Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 I just need a legit reason to not show up! What do I have to lose? Your dignity, self-respect, self-esteem, sanity .... Is that enough to lose for you? I don't mean to be harsh, but showing up at the house of someone who dumped you is only going to make you look bad. I know it hurts. I know it hurts SO BADLY, and I know you want it to work out. But if you show up to his house right now you are proving this to him: -You have zero self-control and you are liable to become one of those "crazy ex-girlfriends". -That he has you wrapped around his finger. He can dump you, break your heart and you will STILL come running after him. Need a legit reason not to go crawling up to his doorstep? Find one. Call up a friend, go clean something, make yourself busy. Your time and energy are both far too important to be wasted on pleading for him to come back to you. HE should be pleading for YOU. If you need to be sad, then do it. There's no shame in that. Cry until your heart's content, eat a pint of ice cream and scream into your pillow. Be kind to yourself. Don't put yourself through the turmoil that showing up at his place would put you through. Call a friend, hon. I know this is awful. Link to comment
Escargot Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 Here, try this. Tell yourself, you are not going over there TODAY. And just make it through today. Worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. Just get through tonight for now. Link to comment
Mexii426 Posted July 7, 2011 Author Share Posted July 7, 2011 well thank you guys so much. I've always thought forums were not for me, but desperate times call for desperate measures and I'm glad I used a forum instead of my gas (aka, driving over there). All I want is to be with him again.. Link to comment
Escargot Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 See? You saved your fuel AND your dignity. Not so shabby, eh? Link to comment
Unknownxl Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 The best thing to do in this situation is to wait.... Let him come to you. Its the only real way of being able to work it out. Trust me I have been there and im going through a rough time now. When I was about 17 I was dating a girl and out of nowhere we broke up. I was very upset. I hadnt done anything wrong at all. I remember driving home and just crying and I didnt want to say anything to my family. So I stopped my truck and just let loose and all the emotions came out. I sat there for maybe an hour and then went home. My family new something was wrong with me but I made the decision not to talk to her right then and there and to not let my heart be played with. So I deleted her number from my phone and then didnt hear back from her for maybe a month. When she contacted me I had no clue who it was and this really surprised her. She then expressed sadness that I never called her and that she missed me but I shrugged it off. She continued to call for a few days until I came over. She couldnt believe how much I had already changed since our split and she kept making passes at me. I recall kissing her but then stopping myself from letting it go further. I felt very proud of myself in that moment and decided I just didnt want her. When I left there I never really spoke with her much afterwards. She would try to call but I always got off the phone asap. I havent heard from her in 5 years now and I couldnt be happier. Link to comment
hopelessincan Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 This is excellent advice! I think im going to print this and read it over and over and over again! Link to comment
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