i snooped.bad i know,worse is i found something suspicious

[xyzzzz]

my bf has been getting msg at 10 at night recently..at first i didnt ask then it just got me corious so i asked who is it? and it happened last night as well? but he wouldnt tell. he says "nothing no big deal". so i got suspious..i snooped on his FB account. and he msgs lots of girls though the conversation is nothing wrong but during one he said "hey your so beautiful.what you up to today".

i dont think he will actually cheat on me. he treats me good and he always comes home sraight after work and those fb girls are often in another city or they dont even bother replying to him..but i dont know if his behavior means anything? i dont know what should i do about it?

[RedDress]

So... how do all you Facebook snoopers get your bf/gf's passwords anyways?? You all are making me paranoid and I kinda want to change my password now. Hahaha

 

What makes you think he wouldn't cheat? Just because he is being "good"?

 

Not to be rude... but I think your bf's behaviour is the EXACT behaviour I would expect from a chronic serial cheater. This is not an old high school friend that he has reconnected with or someone from his softball team that he's started to go for drinks with. These are random women that he has no business or need to talk to at all. So why is he talking to them? To get additional validation from women, to flirt, to feel wanted and sexy and loved. To know he's still "got it".

 

Your boyfriend may not have cheated on you. There's no way to tell. But if he feels the need to seek out, chat and flirt with random women... I'd be concerned. Very, very concerned.

 

I don't really know what you should do about it, though (other than break up). Usually confrontation will just make someone doing this hide it better. They are fulfilling a need. If you get mad at them for it, they will just find other ways to fulfill that need...

[xyzzzz]

he told me his password that's why i know..he basically told me all his passwords including bank accounts..

and yes he likes women attention he admits it. but i dont know how far he will go to get this.

[lukeb]

Two problems. One you have already demonstrated that you don't trust him, even if you hadn't found anything. That trust was already gone when you checked up on him, and snooped without him knowing about it.

 

 

 

.... I think your bf's behaviour is the EXACT behaviour I would expect from a chronic serial cheater. This is not an old high school friend that he has reconnected with or someone from his softball team that he's started to go for drinks with. These are random women that he has no business or need to talk to at all. So why is he talking to them? To get additional validation from women, to flirt, to feel wanted and sexy and loved. To know he's still "got it".

I don't really know what you should do about it, though (other than break up). Usually confrontation will just make someone doing this hide it better. They are fulfilling a need. If you get mad at them for it, they will just find other ways to fulfill that need...

 

I agree it is full filling a need, he may simply be doing for stress relief, but he is actually not interested in cheating on you. This behavior taken to an extreme can result in a sex addiction.

[wicked6018]

i feeling like talking to a girl in a way such as "you are so beautiful" is very flirtacious, and to me that is cheating. break up with him, he's no good.

[lalalollipops]

Yeah there's a diff btwn talking to girls as frds and messaging them telling them they're hot.

 

=/

[Dracia]

How long have you been with this guy and how old are you both? This is the kind of stuff I expect to see from a long-term married couple in their late forties who have lost their spark...