Over reaction or am i in the wrong?

[littlestar]

I will try to try to make this as brief as possible.

 

I met a man online through a mutual interest we both have. We chatted on facebook for a couple of weeks (all very general and non flirty). We had never met in person but i had seen his pics online and commented in private chat that i thought he was a looker. He had a little trouble believing it so i had to tell him a couple of times but he thought i was being sarcastic or not being honest. We began chatting a little more and found out he had been hurt in the past (as have i) and he asked to go on a date to which i declined at this time as i wasnt ready for dating after coming out of a messy relationship (and told him this straight out) but wanted to be friends and chat on fb and maybe one day meet as this wasnt the time for me to meet him either as im battling through some health issues. All was good and he was ok with that...for a few days. Although he'd mention regularly in messages he wanted to meet.

 

He scared me a little one night when we were chatting and he said he had started to have feelings for me and didnt really want to ever let me go (keeping in mind we only chatted online for a couple of weeks and hadnt met in person).

 

One night i had a little to much to drink and sent him a pic - which hardly showed anything (me in a lace bra) and only that part of me, nothing more revealing than you would find advertisements of girls in bras for major department stores. I also told him i was turned on.

 

 

Next day i get a message back and it got mean...he began telling me he is a good guy and looking for a good girl and he didnt think much of me after that pic etc etc etc...i did make it clear i wasnt interested in a relationship...so dont see why he was so offended by what i feel was an innocent pic, i was interested in possibly a fling...he went as far as to delete me and block me.

 

Been trying to get my head around it...am i in the wrong here for sending the pic or is he way over reacting? And if he is over reacting what on earth could cause a reaction like that from someone.

 

I know he thought i was quite attractive as he'd tell me that on more than occasion.

 

Be interesting to see others views on this.

[charity]

i would say that both of you were 'wrong'.

 

he was being silly by talking about not letting you go when he barely knew you and had never met you. he should not have had any expectations of someone he didn't know and wasn't ina relationship with.

 

if i was you i would be keep intimate sexual pictures of yourself for someone who you actually are somewhat involved with.

 

that is only my opinion of course,you said you may have been interested in a possible fling. having a fling with someone doesn't mean that all standards go out the window.

[mouseno4]

And so the truth that the roles can in fact be reversed...

 

And I would most likely do the exact same thing if I was him.

[Batya33]

If I was single and received a picture like that in those circumstances (of a man) it would be a dealbreaker. I remember canceling a date because the day before he changed his profile photo to a provocative/suggestive photo. Buh bye. I think you sent very mixed signals -women who want to develop a platonic friendship with a man don't refer to him as a "looker" and send him suggestive photos (would you send that photo to your father or brother if you have one?). Justifying it by "too much to drink" just reinforces the impression that you want to be able to have all the ego gratification of flirting and turning him on without having to actually put in the effort to meet him. From his perspective, you healed enough from your break up to flirt and send racy photos to strangers but not enough to meet for coffee? I can see someone getting frustrated with that and perhaps offended.

 

I think he was far too clingy early on but you chose to continue chatting with him so you took the risk that he would get more attached, especially after you sent him that photo.