AvonRepus Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 Like I said in my old thread,I am going through break-up,divorce and all that. I got cheated on.Numerous times.I got disappointed and told him to leave.He did. I am not exactly in NC,just because he stops by sometimes to pick up his old junk,or I have to call him and remind him that the rent is due or something. Other than that I am doing fine most of the time,I still have nightmares and heartaches,I still can't sleep and I do still think about him. I think only about the pain he caused,I don't want him back,I can't be with him anymore,I don't think I love him the way I did,I don't think I have any good feelings towards him. It's all bad. But once we are divorced I am planning to leave the country (US) and I will be banned for overstaying my visit ( he never helped me for my green card). I think I do accept that,I accept the divorce and everything that comes with it. But it's hard for me to accept that there's no way I am ever going to see him again,or the place we lived in,or the States in general. I know he's bad for me,always been.Sometimes I dream about the day I won't have any contact with him,I want to erase him from my system. But then ...When I picture it,it hurts,it will be hard,I know. It hurts that it will be over. Officially. In any way possible. Is it normal for me to feel that way or I am not getting better at all? I think I am healing.I really do. But thoughts like these confuse me. Link to comment
ChellyV Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 Do not alter your life plans just because of him. Yes, you are healing. Anger is one of the phases, but dont cuddle it. Dont dwell on it too long. PM me please. I cannot send you a PM? Link to comment
Oasiswater Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 Are you on a regular visitor's visa? What is the departure date stated on your I-94? It's better to tackle this as soon as possible, and attempt to submit a petition if at all possible. Don't let one stupid man affect your standing with border patrol! Link to comment
AvonRepus Posted July 7, 2011 Author Share Posted July 7, 2011 I contacted a lawyer and set an appointment on 7/26. It seems so far to me. ChellyV for some reason my PM options are disabled even though I verified the e-mail and all that. I tried to PM you but it just won't let me,it says it maybe waiting activation..I can give you my e-mail or any other contact info if you like. Anyway the sad part is that I decided to go out last night,drank a little alcohol and spent the whole day in depression. I am that close to start crying but I also know that's how I always use when I have a slight hangover.So I am trying to make it till tomorrow. I don't have departure date on my I-94 but my visa expired couple months after we got married,in 2009. Therefore I am with no legal status. I do feel very lonely today,I think I took a step back. Grrr. Link to comment
ChellyV Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 hang in there. do not give up. yes give me your email address if you do not mind posting it here in the public thread. i look forward to hearing from you. Link to comment
ChellyV Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 please do not make any MAJOR life changing decisions in the midst of a heartache or grief. i have to go, please take care of yourself.ill be back online in a bit Link to comment
AvonRepus Posted July 7, 2011 Author Share Posted July 7, 2011 No problem,I don't mind posting my e-mail,it's a special break-up one . [link removed[/email] Link to comment
AvonRepus Posted July 7, 2011 Author Share Posted July 7, 2011 I just saw your second post,I appreciate your help Chelly,it's nice to hear warm words from a complete stranger. Talk to you soon. Link to comment
hausser Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 Good advice about the life changing decisions in the midst of a break up Chelly. On that note Avon, I would probably stay as long as possible, I would feel the same as you too btw. Link to comment
AvonRepus Posted July 8, 2011 Author Share Posted July 8, 2011 I did consider staying for at least couple more months but it is hard. Too many things remind of him,too many memories,scattered all around me. It's just too much for somebody emotional like me. On the other hand I was doing something in my life,I got manager's position,I did volunteer a lot,I found a lot of activities we could of done together and there's still so much I want to see and experience in here. My cousin is living in London,UK and he offered me,no, he begged me to come and live with him. So that's my other option,I just wish I won't get banned,I don't like having doors closed behind me. Link to comment
hausser Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 Hmm I see your dilemma, stay and remain in a sort of comfort zone albeit a lonely one, or move to London and be with a cousin but have to start again. If leavign America is likely to be final I would try and stay at least another few weeks. Are you still working? Job siutuation in the UK is pretty dire... Link to comment
AvonRepus Posted July 8, 2011 Author Share Posted July 8, 2011 Yeah,I am still working,trying to save money for my next stage of life. It is a comfort zone but also it's my twilight zone. I do need somebody close to me. Desperately.I am honestly surprised I did last 2 years without seeing my family or friends. The starting over kinda scares me and excites me the same time. My cousin can help me to find a job,it will be something minimal wage I am sure,since I don't have any work experience or references in London,but it will be something. I think I need pros and cons list. Link to comment
hausser Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 Yeah, deffo don't make any big decisions with a view to shock them into coming back though. Link to comment
AvonRepus Posted July 8, 2011 Author Share Posted July 8, 2011 I know,I am really trying to not rush into something stupid but meanwhile I don't want to spend more time without my family and they miss me dearly. I might give myself a chance till the end of the summer but it kinda sucks.All the plans I had included him,new house,new places to visit,all that. And that sucks big time. My birthday is coming up and I wonder how to reward myself. Link to comment
hausser Posted July 8, 2011 Share Posted July 8, 2011 By being in a new place where you now KNOW who's with you for the long term and who's not...you sound a bit like me tbh...well equipped mentally to deal with this but lacking that all important thing that gets many a weak dumper over us..... a good, solid social circle. Link to comment
AvonRepus Posted July 8, 2011 Author Share Posted July 8, 2011 That sums it up honestly. I feel like I am mentally equipped ( I just love the saying) to deal with this the best way possible and to be on the right path but it * * * * ing sucks : Chased his ass all over the states and continents,moved overseas to be with him,spent 2 years away from my family,I have no legal status in here,no social circle even though people really want me to share with them and they are trying to help me out but I am just not feeling it. And after all I am a foreigner.English is not my native language,US is not my country,I just happened to be in the worst situation possible after a break-up. So I am trying to pull all the pieces together and tie the knot. It will happen someday,I know it,the path is rough. Link to comment
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