Dumper's Guilt, Dumpee's Abuse

[misestopieces]

My ex is still contacting me. The messages alternate between practical (stuff that needs to be mailed) to conciliatory to accusatory.

 

I know she's hurting and has to get this all out, but it's hard to be the punching bag. Promises to leave me alone are followed by rants about how I never cared. I've tried keeping my responses very short and limited to practical matters, but the insults and accusations keep coming. I finally broke down and replied that I am hurting too and the only thing that will make her happy is if I say I want to get together again.

 

I'm sitting here waiting for the response and feeling just sick about all of this.

[DN]

I assume you don't want to get back together?

 

What are the practical matters you have to talk about?

[hello678]

Just reiterate that you are seperated and that for you both (emphasise both) to heal you won't be replying to any of her messages or calls.

[Seraphim]

Really she can only abuse you if you let her. Do not answer the phone, do not read any texts, spam her email. She might get the hint.

[misestopieces]

It's complicated. Lots of things were at her place. I am now very far away.

 

I have read enough here to know that giving her the contact she wants now will only delay the healing. She knows my feelings on NC after a breakup and she hates that I'm using that "tactic" now, but I know it's for the best. She tells me she knows it's over and wants to stay friends, but I know that if I start seeing someone else, it will destroy her. I know it.

 

But I also know the pain this is causing her and I hate having to play the bad guy and look like I'm ignoring her. I think of the pain in her voice when I told her it was over. Some days I can't think of anything else. I don't want to trivialize her pain by telling her I'm hurting too. I mean I am, but not like she is.