Dating but no-one compares to the ex...

[LN1987]

Seriously it has been a few months since BU, Lots of guys seem keen, but no-one matches the passion I had with the ex... What do I do to get over this

[jumper11]

Just let more time go by and you WILL meet someone and click and want them. I was in the same boat as you and I am naturally picky so to speak, sounds lame and corny but trust me, when you meet that person, they will stand out of the crowd and you will know.

 

Edit.. I meant time as in after moving on significantly and nc.. I didn't know her back story so,

[dramallama]

Time since the break up means nothing. How long have you been in strict NC for? By my observations, you have never been in strict NC for than a few days, and you are in no position to be dating. If you do so, it's another avoidance strategy.

[LN1987]

Yes it has been a week now... That is it since March. He still gets under my skin, all these other guys just seem so mediocre compared to him, nicer, but there just isnt that 'click'

[Ms Darcy]

There is no click because there is no "click" in you. You've only stopped communicating with your ex for a week and you have him on a pedastal.

[dramallama]

Yes it has been a week now... That is it since March. He still gets under my skin, all these other guys just seem so mediocre compared to him, nicer, but there just isnt that 'click'

Another reason why you need to do NC... no-one is going to stand a chance if you compare them to your ex. The feelings can only fade if you choose to cut all contact.

[LN1987]

Yes Drama. But you know that period at the beginning of the relationship... I really can't get over how good that was with my ex? For about 5 months we were in total bliss... I honestly can't see how I would ever get that back again, with anyone, it was just so... easy?

[endy]

LN... WAY TO EARLY to date. Don't do it. You need to pick yourself back up, and get your self confidence back. The reason being you're going to attract people that aren't compatible with you right now because it's lower. In no way should you be dating until you are close to completely healed. It's not healthy, and like drama said it's an avoidance strategy. You don't want to replace him with someone else, or use someone else to hide the feelings.

 

As far as the in love feelings, yes you'll get them again with someone else. It happens in every relationship pretty much. The problem is that in love feeling is not love. It's love from within reflecting onto the other person. That's why everything is so easy at the beginning. True love is what happens after that. How you treat and act with the other person. Don't go searching for that in love feeling. Search for someone that is going to treat you right once you get to know them.

 

LN just from experience, I can tell you that yes you will meet someone just as great as them, and you will love someone just as much and if not more again. You just need to work through this breakup. If you got into a serious relationship now or fell in love you would take with it all the baggage you are working through still. That would most likely cause the new relationship to fail. You just are going to have to work through it and heal hun.

[dramallama]

Yes Drama. But you know that period at the beginning of the relationship... I really can't get over how good that was with my ex? For about 5 months we were in total bliss... I honestly can't see how I would ever get that back again, with anyone, it was just so... easy?

Until it turned to crap, right? It's not going to do you any good to fantasize about the good times, but neglect to think about how nasty he was/is towards you.