Trust and Exes

[iirawrz]

Hello everyone, I am in need on some advice because I really dont know what to do or to think anymore.

I am dating this guy who I love very much, we have been dating for 5 months now and he seems to want a serious relationship with me,but there are a couple of things that seem to always get us into arguments like for example, I am hispanic and he is caucasian so there are some cultural differences there, we have grown up in totally different worlds, but that isnt even much of a big deal, the biggest issue in our relationship is the fact that he talks to his ex girlfriends.

 

Exes make it very hard for me to trust a guy because first of all, the first guy I ever went out with, we had an on and off relationship because he kept getting back with his exes and then with me and then back with them, it was very stupid of me to ever get back with him in the first place I realize that now, but this left some scars on me about a guy talking to exes, same with the second guy i ever dated, he cheated on me with one of his exes and that just scarred me even more on the subject of a bf of mine talking to his exes.

 

Now I am dating this guy, he is very sweet, he and I have a great time with each other but he just has this friendships with his exes that make me feel so uncomfortable.

 

The first time anything addressing his exes happened was very early in our relationship, he was selling some old dvds of his and stuff and one of his exes was buying some and I was totally fine with that but then as our relationship went on he just would not shut up about his exes and his family also brought them up a lot and still do sometimes though not as much. some examples: one time we were watching a movie and i was happy and he just kinda ruined the moment by mentioning how he watched it with one of his exes and she loved it and he didnt even realize how much that bothered me, then one time when he was making breakfast for me he started telling me about how one of his ex gfs family taught him how to cook what he was making for me. it affects my trust on him a lot because he tells me that i am very special to him becuase i love him so much and my culture is interesting to him and other things yet the fact that he cant be quiet about his exes makes me feel like i am not special enough becuase he has to keep bringing them up.

 

Also one of his exes, she has a bf but she lives close to him, this wont be much of an issue anymore because he is moving soon but still, he txts her a lot even though i told him it makes me feel uncomfortable he says he wont but he txts her, its nothing flirty but it makes me feel like i am not enough for him. He has to keep telling this girl and this other ex he has that he lived with for like a year or two about everything that is going on in his life and he has this health problem and he kept asking for help to the girl that lives close to him and it just makes me feel like he wants nothing with me sometimes because he has to keeps asking them and telling them stuff and it just makes me feel like i dont exist

 

Then there is the fact that i lost my virginity to him...and it was very important to me but hes had so many exes that hes been with and its hard for me to believe that it was special to him that i gave him my virginity when he does all this things...he talks to this girl that he was interested in for a while and tells her that he likes talking to her and stuff, then he has a friend who is a stripper and one time he actually dared to ask me if i wanted to go to one of her shows with him.

 

idk what to do...i love him very much and i dont wanna be a * * * * * and make him stop talking to his friends...

[tegoz_marianos]

My bf is best friends with his ex, and still speaks to all the others. In fact his "big" ex still has a key to his flat. But I don't mind at all, I've just made the effort to get to know her properly, gone for dinner at her house etc and I often go running with her. The more I get to know her the more I realise she's a really nice girl and he likes her because of that, not because he still feels anything for her.

 

It's you he's with, not her. If he wanted her bach he probably could have had her back before you got together. Just be happy it's you he's with and enjoy it

[wicked6018]

it could be worse. my fiance is best friends with his ex's brother in law, and he lives with him and the ex's sister. they are all * * * * * y and he and i fight about it all the time. as far as your situation goes i'd say you need to put your foot down and let him know that it makes you uncomfortable for him to talk to his exes, or it will never stop it will only get worse and continue to upset you. it will bottle up and then explode.