Help

[wicked6018]

i have been with my guy for almost two years. (i'll call him "bob")we have a practically perfect relationship. we love and care about each other deeply, and we are now engaged. pretty much the only issue we have ever had is, to me, a big one: his living situation. he lives with his friend and the friend's wife. Here is the catch, my fiance dated the wife's sister before he started dating me, so they have always hated me. The thing is, it's so dumb and juvenile because "Bob" had been broken up with her before we even started talking. Even though it was very awkward for me, i tried SO hard to be nice to this couple because "Bob" lives with them and i knew i'd have to be around them all the time. i tried to hang out with them, talked to them every chance i had, etc., but they never once reciprocated any kindness whatsoever; they have always just been extremely rude. As if this isn't bad enough, I have to see my fiance's ex from time to time, since he lives at her sister's house, AND her parents. It is so awkward. The thing that hurts so much is that "Bob" has never really truly agreed with me about how * * * * * y these people are. He even once told me, "If i had met her (the wife) when i first met you, i would have thought she was the biggest * * * * * , but she doesn't treat anybody else that way." so he thinks she is a perfectly decent person. Shouldn't it be enough for him that she's been such a * * * * * to me? Also, what really bothers me, is that he has never attempted to move out of that house. Why is it that he wants to stay there? He has said things like that it is cheaper, but i know how much he is paying them and it is around the same price of a decent apartment, for the one little room he rents from them. Honestly, i feel like he stays there because he feels bad for their financial situation and wants to help them on rent, which really pisses me off because why should he be helping people that have hurt me? So, I've lived with this situation for almost two years, but it has never gotten any easier for me. It really sucks not EVER ONCE feeling comfortable in my own fiance's house. I mean, if it had been the other way around, if i had friends that were douche bags to him, they would not be my friends any more and i certainly would have moved out! I love this man so much but this situation sucks and i need help dealing with it. i need some good advice. Please help, thanks.

[Kishiko]

Wow...your finance is a confusing man lol. Well, if "Bob" wants to marry you then he needs to move out!

I mean it's best to move in together before you both are married so you two can get use to the living

situation. Have you talked about how his roommates treat you? If I was "Bob" then I would of just moved

out immediately if I found out my roommates treated you wrong. Especially, being fiances. I'm sorry to say this

but your fiance is being a jerk just like the people he lives with. I never had a situation like this with a love one before

so it's hard to give any advice, but I think you should try to persuade him to move in with you already. It's been 2

years right? I think it's time to start sharing a home.

 

I think the roommates of your fiance are putting things in his head to make him not move in with you since they dislike you. Maybe, that's a reason why he won't. So I think you need to have a little "group meeting" with your fiance and his roommates and have a ADULT conversation and work things out with each other since you noticed they don't like you and want to work things out right? So Have a adult conversation with all of you in the room and be adults! You done nothing wrong and don't deserve to be treated like this at all. So you should do something about it and stand up against them and be the mature one about this.

 

I don't want to write to much lolol so I hope I helped you a little!

[wicked6018]

thanks for replying. well see, i don't really agree with living together before getting married, so that is out. i guess i'm just going to have to put up with them a little longer. sadly. i will say, he is not really friends with the wife anymore and i don't think he really is with the husband, either. they never hang out and "bob" pretty much just stays in his room. i told him pretty soon into our relationship that i didn't like how they treated me and that i didn't want to be around them, so he doesn't make me. he used to try to get us to hang out but not anymore. also, he doesn't ever really mention them because i asked him not to. so i guess he's made the situation as good for me as he can, but, I just wish he would move out and don't get why he won't.

[Kishiko]

Again, he is a confusing man! lol. He does sure sound like a nice guy and does really care about you. I do think that his roommates are putting stuff in his head to make him stay with them and not move in with you. I think the only way to solve this is to marry the guy already That means he has to to move in and those mean people that live with him can't stop him.

[wicked6018]

Thanks, he is a great guy. : ) We are planning on getting married next summer. i guess i'll just have to put up with this for another year. it sucks, but i love him, so i'll deal with it. Also, he is working on a job that will have him moved to another state, he just doesn't know when he will be leaving....so i guess as soon as he hears from that i won't have to worry aobut it any more.