kuteknish Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 So my good friend had some friends over and we all went out drinking. Myself and this one guy ended up hanging out together a lot when while we were out.. His ride was leaving and he asked if he should leave or if it was okay if he stayed and slept at my place. I didn't want him to leave, so I said yes. I was having too much fun. Well we stayed up to watch the sunrise and had a blast together.... soon after, we cannot keep our hands off each other and we end up sleeping together. Two consenting adults (i'm 31, he 29) having a really great time, right? This is the first time I've EVER done this.. I've never gone home with anyone after a few hours of knowing them... Although we had a great time and both fulfilled our sexual desires for the evening, I can't help but feel a bit poorly about it. I don't like to be in the category of "easy" or "that girl" .. I just went with what I was feeling and had some fun. Problem is now is that I don't want him to think poorly of me, or in a category of just the girl he goes home with... I will see him again. He's always over my friend's place and we're always hanging out. We added each other on FB and he said He had a great time and was glad I came out. Few questions: Do men really lose respect for a woman when she goes home with him or is it sometimes viewed as a strong woman fulfilling her needs/desires? Has anyone ever gotten into a relationship with someone they just hooked up with ? Should I ask my friend if he said anything to him? Link to comment
Eocsor Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 Do men really lose respect for a woman when she goes home with him or is it sometimes viewed as a strong woman fulfilling her needs/desires? Has anyone ever gotten into a relationship with someone they just hooked up with ? Should I ask my friend if he said anything to him? Do men really lose respect for a woman when she goes home with him or is it sometimes viewed as a strong woman fulfilling her needs/desires? Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. It depends on the guy. There is no standard answer. Has anyone ever gotten into a relationship with someone they just hooked up with ? Definitely, happens all the time. Should I ask my friend if he said anything to him? Sure. It can't hurt. But be wary if he doesn't call for a date or try and find a way to see you. If a guy is really interested, he will make a move to do more than sleep with you. Link to comment
RedDress Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 Do men really lose respect for a woman when she goes home with him or is it sometimes viewed as a strong woman fulfilling her needs/desires? I actually think a lot of men intellectually think the strong woman thing. But then it happens and they start to wonder if she does it with others (telling him he's the only one does nothing... everyone says that. LOL!). At the end of the day, some will care, some will not. Has anyone ever gotten into a relationship with someone they just hooked up with ? Personally? No. But only because I don't do the hookup thing. But I've seen it happen for some of my girlfriends. It can go both ways. Should I ask my friend if he said anything to him? I wouldn't. Doesn't that take away from the strong woman thing? I mean... he's either going to ask you out now (or you can ask him) or he won't. The part that concerns me the most, though is that he contacted you to say he had a good time and that he's glad you came out (weird turn of phrase for someone you just slept with)... but he didn't mention/ask about seeing you again. Not to make you all insecure... but many of the instances where I DID see it work out, the couple was equally fast and furious about each other. There was no guessing involved. It was like an instant meet-glued together at the hip deal. Not sure if that's relevant or not. So - either you can wait to see if he'll ask you out or you can go ahead and ask him if you want. I mean... no sense being coy now, right? PS: It either would or wouldn't have worked regardless of whether you slept with him. The only thing is... now you are probably more emotionally invested and care a heck of a lot more than if you hadn't slept with him. It's not necessarily cause and effect (you slept with him therefore he won't call). It's possible that it's cause and effect. But it's also possible that he would or would not have called you anyways. Know what I mean? Link to comment
kuteknish Posted July 5, 2011 Author Share Posted July 5, 2011 thanks for the great insight! Link to comment
lana111 Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 dont sweat it. you know you are not a "sl*t" so who cares!? as for your questions A) I think everyone is different B) Yes, it happens C) I would personally let it be, but do what makes you feel good. I had one, one night stand and it was the most empowering thing I ever felt! hahaha I felt so womanly! Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 I think that you have to realize that you just wanted to have some fun and leave it at that. At this point you dont know if he is looking for more than just what happened. His actions will soon tell what he wants from you, it may have been just that night and it may be more but you will just have to wait and see. Link to comment
FathomFear Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 Do men really lose respect for a woman when she goes home with him or is it sometimes viewed as a strong woman fulfilling her needs/desires? Just think of it this way. If he's the kind of guy to hold some ridiculous double-standard like the you're talking about, is he worth your time beyond a random hookup? I would just run with it and don't worry. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 A "strong woman" is usually not defined simply as a woman who goes out and has sex with a stranger because she feels like getting her sexual needs met. If that was the definition of a strong woman you would have many of the total basket cases, insecure, messed up women who would be considered "strong women" simply because they ran out and had sex with a stranger. For that matter, Bill Clinton, John Edwards and Arnold Schwarzenegger would then have to be considered "strong men" because they chose to go out and get their sexual needs met. A strong woman (or man) is one who doesn't cave under pressure and adversity, one who can overcome adversity and thrive. Hillary Clinton is a strong woman because despite the public humiliation due to her husband, she put it aside and continued to be successful. Lance Armstrong is a strong man because he survived cancer and pushed himself to succeed in the Tour de France (let's forget for a moment that there is the steroids issue, he still went out cycling rather than feel sorry for himself). As far as what is next..only time will tell. Plenty of men and women go on to have relationships after having sex on the first meeting, and plenty don't. As for the respect issue...well, if he doesn't respect you then he shouldn't respect himself either since he was a willing participant in the activity. So if he does have a double standard in this regard, he is not worth your time. Link to comment
Sparkly Eyes Posted July 6, 2011 Share Posted July 6, 2011 Just think of it this way. If he's the kind of guy to hold some ridiculous double-standard like the you're talking about, is he worth your time beyond a random hookup? I would just run with it and don't worry. VERY true. I don't understand why women are so afraid of this double standard, have some self respect for gods sake. Why are you so afraid of him judging you when he did the same thing? Do you really want to be with that type of guy? Link to comment
capilot Posted July 7, 2011 Share Posted July 7, 2011 Has anyone ever gotten into a relationship with someone they just hooked up with ? My girlfriend and I were in bed together within an hour of meeting. It's been six year so far. Link to comment
kuteknish Posted July 7, 2011 Author Share Posted July 7, 2011 how long after that night did you call her again? Link to comment
kuteknish Posted July 8, 2011 Author Share Posted July 8, 2011 should I ask him if he wants to hang out sometime, or just leave it up to him? Link to comment
capilot Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 how long after that night did you call her again? We were pretty much inseparable for the next two days. I asked her if I could see her once we got back to civilization. I called her again within a week. Link to comment
kuteknish Posted July 9, 2011 Author Share Posted July 9, 2011 should I ask him if he wants to hang out sometime, or just leave it up to him? Link to comment
needmoreinfo Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 As a guy my respect for a girl has more to do with how she treats me and how she acts in public (like not flirting with other guys etc..) not how she acts between the sheets. I have had a 4 year relationship that started with a 1st date sleep over. Link to comment
needmoreinfo Posted July 9, 2011 Share Posted July 9, 2011 should I ask him if he wants to hang out sometime, or just leave it up to him? Usually if I really like a girl I will call her. However, even if I really like a girl I never feel an urge to call the next day. I am weird but, I take my sweet time before calling regardless of how much I like the girl. So if you can't wait call him. If you can wait, by letting him call you, you will know he is interested. Link to comment
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