Case_1983 Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 I absolutely don’t get it. Went on a few dates with this guy, we kissed, everything was good. I asked him out once and he me the other time. He sent me maybe one sms a day and we took turns initiating. We had a bit of an awkward date and he even sent a message saying sorry that it appeared that he wasn’t having a good time because he was and wanted to get to know me better. Since then he has been sending me countless messages, all small talk subject, nothing about wanting to see me or whatever. But seriously, morning, lunch and evening. He wants to chat chat chat. I don’t want to ask him out because last time he really appeared distracted and like he wasn’t enjoying himself. He has plenty of friends, so I’m sure he isn’t just bored. If I don’t reply he will write again but never asking me out or asking when we can see us next. Do guys do that? Sms just for the hell of it? Link to comment
TearsofFate Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 It can happen. I'm a girl and I know I did that to a few guys. I just didn't know how I felt, but I knew I liked talking to them online. I didn't mean to hurt any of them, but I ended up hurting them...by accident. So I stopped talking to them online so they could move on. I'm not saying he doesn't like you. He could just be stuck for what to do. Link to comment
sidehop Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 I doubt it, he does sound very interested. I don't think most guys would even bother to SMS unless he had an interest in a girl. See where it goes! Link to comment
Case_1983 Posted July 5, 2011 Author Share Posted July 5, 2011 So.. Just wait it out? Link to comment
sidehop Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 I would...see if he initiates by end of the week. Link to comment
BriarRose Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 I can promise you that a man who is not interested would not be contacting you so often. It could be several things - socially awkward, shy, coming out of recent relationship - or still possibly in one. But he is interested. Link to comment
Case_1983 Posted July 5, 2011 Author Share Posted July 5, 2011 My thought is (and i have nothing to base this on) that he is dating someone else and wants to see how it goes, but would like to keep me hanging as a spare. I dont know. Link to comment
BriarRose Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 My thought is (and i have nothing to base this on) that he is dating someone else and wants to see how it goes, but would like to keep me hanging as a spare. I dont know. This came to my mind, too. But to your original question, men don't contact women they aren't interested in. But yeah - I am getting the same vibe you are. In my experience (with men who call me often but don't ask me out), this has often been the case. Link to comment
sidehop Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 It's possible but I wouldn't give up any hopes. Let time tell, if he initiates in few days great, if not see if you can initiate. If he's being dodgy or giving you hot/cold then simply cut him loose. Link to comment
BriarRose Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 It's possible but I wouldn't give up any hopes. Let time tell, if he initiates in few days great, if not see if you can initiate. If he's being dodgy or giving you hot/cold then simply cut him loose. I agree. It's just a little too soon to tell for sure. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 I agree to give it a few more days but the more you take up his invitation to be a chat buddy the less motivated he will be to put in the effort to make plans with you. It's fine to respond but respond briefly and if there's more needed for a real response type back "I really enjoy chatting with you but I'm getting too busy to text back and forth -hopefully we'll see each other in person soon" (and see what he responds) -since you already asked him out I wouldn't ask him out again or make more than a suggestion that if he wants to continue the conversation he can ask you out on a date. I wouldn't read into text messages interest in dating - if he's interested in seeing you he'd make the effort to see you -at least he'd try to make a plan by the end of this week. He might enjoy flirting, enjoy that you're obviously interested in him or keeping you as Plan B. Link to comment
BriarRose Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 Yes, I wouldn't spend much more time on this one (chit-chatting) - a few more days.... Link to comment
WockaWocka Posted July 5, 2011 Share Posted July 5, 2011 It's fine to respond but respond briefly and if there's more needed for a real response type back "I really enjoy chatting with you but I'm getting too busy to text back and forth -hopefully we'll see each other in person soon" (and see what he responds) -since you already asked him out I wouldn't ask him out again or make more than a suggestion that if he wants to continue the conversation he can ask you out on a date. I think this is an excellent approach. You ease up on the SMSs and nudge him toward another date without actually asking him out. Link to comment
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