All just karma coming back on me?

[violet456]

Hi everyone,

 

This is probably going to sound like nothing but I feel karma is coming back on me and all the mistakes i made in the relationship whereas its giving my ex nothing but the benefits.

 

We were the strongest of friends at work and he later became interested in me whilst he was still in a LDR with his gf. He left her for me (which never really sat well with me - in a moral sense) and we had a wonderful, but of course, at times troubled relationship.

 

We were together 4yrs (been a month since the breakup) and now he's done the exact same thing and is with another girl at work. I guess it feels like karma is rearing its head on me in how our relationship began. It's like history repeating itself, but i'm now the one being left for someone else.

I'm just hurt and disappointed he can just be happy and do the same thing once again with another girl so quickly with no feeling for what was shared.

 

I admit I made mistakes, we were engaged, i broke it off, we broke up for a week, got back together, i would hang out with guy friends at movies, we would then be engaged again but then cool off.. i was really a terrible person.

i must say he never did anything but be supportive and loving. i really took him for granted.

it just seems disappointing to breakup over insignificant things when we got thru so much more. but life isn't easy is it?

i understand i now really do not deserve him, i guess sometimes you wish you had someone watching from the outside to wake you up and remind that you never realise how good something is until its gone.

i guess all you can do is be gracious and wish them all the best for their happiness.

 

thanks for reading

[DN]

Have you asked for a chance to fix your mistakes?

 

I don't think it is a good idea to characterise them as insignificant - for example, breaking up with someone isn't insignificant even if you do get back together, neither is taking someone for granted.

[hello678]

It does suck when you let it fall apart under your watch and know the mistakes you made.

 

They say every relationship changes us for the best, we learn how to appreciate people and we learn how to treat them. We learn all that.

 

If he does never come back, and they live happily ever after, just learn in yourself how to treat the next guy that comes around.

 

It sounds to me like you need someone who will challenge you a bit more, there is always someone who challenges and someone who needs to be challenged in a relaitonship. He couldn't do that for you.

[violet456]

thanks for your replies

DN - yes i must admit they were significant yet seemed little (it was just little things about his work, not cheating or anything terrible) but i guess it just became too much for him to handle.

I did ask for a second chance, i cried, pleaded, wrote heartfelt letters and emails (yes, in my darkest and most horrible hours) it just seemed as if he sealed himself off from me to cut away the pain and not really deal or address everything, which disappoints me the most.

 

mtom12 - i admit the breakup was a good thing to find myself again, its just sad i had to lose someone in order for this to happen. but i'm thankful for all the things i have now taken and learned from this, to really appreciate the person you love.

and yes, he never did challenge me, never stood up for me, he was just there, not really supporting just there as a person.

i thought it was true love but looking on the whole situation it wasn't as good as it could have been.

 

thanks again for your help