When I think about my ex... I feel indifferent and ugh...

[iamminzy]

Sometimes I wonder why I even went out with him or even liked him. I guess he was the only one that made me feel all fluttery inside because he was giving me signals and I never really had a boyfriend which is probably the reason why I went out with him. But it wasn't long before I found out that I wasn't totally interested in him and it feels ugh inside. He said that I didn't know how to kiss but he is such a horrible kisser and too rough and not gentle.

 

We usually had arguments because he always said that I wasn't treating him with respect and nice. Am I really such a horrible person or is it him that got issues? I mean when he is around his friends, he disregards my feelings and he gets too comfortable with everyone because all he wants his attention from people. My friend thinks he is a dominant person and a bit manipulative as well. I remember when I went swimming with my friends and he was trying to teach me how to swim, but I couldn't get it right and he kept saying wrong, wrong wrong, try again, wrong, wrong... and I got frustrated because it's annoying and I told him well my friend taught me it this way and I like it and he said ok and walk away. Then later in the evening he told me, that he was mad at me because I did not listen to him when he was teaching me. I was listening and was trying, but it just didn't turn out right in his eyes. he told me that he went to UC Berkeley and his professor taught him and he saw a video of how people swim and that's how he learned because he said that's the correct way of swimming. So by saying that a UC professor taught him his degrading my friend who was taught by a community college teacher... All my friends said there is no correct way of swimming as long as you can swim because everyone has their own swimming style... he is too manipulative and ignorant to understand this.... he is one of those guys that is super smart and I always felt intimidated by smart people because I am not smart. I am dumb lol.

 

There were also many times that I ask him to go somewhere with me such as fisherman wharf because I like to walk around and have a good time enjoying the weather and view of the city, but he said no because he thinks there's nothing to do there and its boring. I told him I want to watch Toy Story 3 in 3D he says I want to watch Salt... and tells me to download Toy Story for him and I said no, and he kept saying why not? Maniuplative again... I get manipulative easily by people, but I know when it's not cool to play their games. One time I wanted to watch megamind and he had to push it to next Sunday and I was cool with that. he comes to my room and sleeps on the bed and doesn't get up. I hit him, poke him and even pulled him off the bed and then I just gave up and I got pissed and cry a little and he said I'm sorry and said why are you being like this? But when this random person calls him to ask him to pick them up from the airport, he says he needs to go and he continues to try to make out with me but I get pissed and cry. I'm usually very sensitive... I guessing its a girl, but he still doesn't get why I got upset.... and say why are you being like this, stop being like this... I told him I plan this day with him and he said he didn't know, but I did tell him, could he be more dense than that? Not only has he ignored my feelings, but he disrespected my parents. My parents cook dinner for him and he leaves anyways and this is such a cruel and disrespectful thing to do. This is one thing I forgot to mention to him because I felt like I was being in his shadows and manipulated by him so I got scared when it came to confronting him.

 

I just read through the facebook message and I ran through the message. He said that he needed someone to appreciate his company, yet he never appreciated my company especially when he is with his friends. he said I never took the initiation to walk him out the door or give him a kiss goodnight, but I guess I already felt indifferent about our relationship because he never actually acknowledged me. I remember all he thought about was winning this stupid game and blame me that he could have won if I didn't make that stupid move when he walked away and he said that I could play. he said he will teach me but just told me to watch cuz its complicated game.. Why does it always have to be about winning instead of enjoying the game.. he makes me mad when he pounds me in the board games we play and shove its in my face... He made me feel dumb and unintelligent in playing those strategy board games...

 

Yet he told me that I made him feel dumb when he doesn't know English! My friend said hope she can find her cd sooner and in his dumb mind he thinks that sooner = already found and we argued over it and I said no. Already means its already found and sooner = hoping it will happen in the matter of time. he know what soon means but he thinks sooner = already found..... That night he got mad at me and said that I was dense because he was mad for 2 hours because I made him feel wrong because I told my friend that her grammar was correct when she thought it was wrong and he thinks that I made him lose his pride. He is too prideful and defensive and arrogant to notice what people are trying to tell him. It serves him right that he failed english and couldn't graduate college.

[iamminzy]

Sometimes I think he acts like a girl because he gets mad so easily and its over stupid things too. He got mad when I played facebook games and I said no and he said he got mad because I didn't respond to him and I ended up saying sorry but after that it got annoying so I never apologized because he gets mad over something small things every time. He gets mad when I don't invite him out with my friends... umm do I have to invite him to everything? I enjoy having my own me time with my own friends and they are old time buddies which he is not a part of... Was I wrong for not inviting him? All he wants is attention and wants people to notice him and be his friend... he also got mad at me when i told him I needed to go to an officer meeting at school and he said he will come to my house in the afternoon. Afternoon means 2 or 3pm not 4 or 5 pm because I needed to be there at 5 and he knows that. He called me said that he might not be able to make it to my house and I told my mom that he was giving me a ride and so she left with the car. So I needed him to give me a ride but I never knew he would show up at 20 mins before 5pm... and decided to take a rest on my bed? He made me late already and I didn't say anything. All i told him to get up and I needed to go and drag him up. He told me he was mad and said do you know why I came in the first place and I said because you wanted to hang out with me. he said exactly, but you just made me drive you to school. But who was the one who told me that he will be here in the afternoon after he knew that have to go to school. he doesn't have much patience and likes he rush things...

 

He also mentioned that I gave him unenthusiastic responses all the time especially through the phone, but he never kept me enthusiastic because he always talk weird even my friends said they didn't like him because he talked too much and one my close buddy wanted to punch him haha... he's hella loud and aggressive... Whenever he around his friends, I never talk much because I have no idea what the heck they are talking about and they talk too much and I am much more quiet and subtle person. We never talked much on the phone either because he can't even carry a conversation without giving me an unenthusiastic voice and saying the same thing over again... So I never called him anymore. When I did call him, he said why did you call me?... Can't I just call you to say Hi, What's up? i miss you? To be honest, none of my friends and even my parents like him at all because he doesn't show respect for people.

 

He yelled at me when he was the one who was late to my house and we needed to go our friends house to play board games. I was just talking to my dog and he yelled at me, Hurry up!!! =/ I got pissed and yet he too dense to figure it out -.-... On his birthday, I gave him a crappy $5 present from fisherman wharf and a $5 card that he returned because I didn't write anything on it haha, but I really started to lose interest in him and didn;t care what I gave him hah...