So I went NC then broke it with this HUGE thing that didn't work but feel great!

[m011d402]

So won't go into it all but my ex dumped me after 15 months together saying she couldn't live with me due to fact I was insecure. Said she still loved me and who knows what future holds. Queue me begging pleading for 6 weeks. That just made it worse she became more distant. I work with her but luckily I Bern out the office as my boy is sick so been helping him.

 

Anyway so I go nc for 3 weeks. I just vanish. This causes her to text about 9 days in and ultimately the text was her jealous that I'd spoken to another girl in the office about my little boy (she used to know everything and was vert involved in helping him). That turned into me begging her back again so I thought this is pathetic snd totally cut her out my life for 3 weeks.

 

After that time I felt alot better and so I did this!!!! I left under her desk a box containing a website address and a ring and a video. The ring I had bought her a couple months ago, an eternity ring she described. The video was a sentimental one we had watched. The website was a link.. A link to 5 videos for her to watch. To cut a long story short I travelled to 5 places up and down the Uk we had Been and video'd it. The videos told her I wanted us to not end on my pathetic begging but in a good way, with good memories. One of these places is a 12 hour round trip and I did it.

 

You know what? When I started doing the videos I was doing it to get her back. By the time I'd finished it honestly was so that I left her with good memories and us in an ok place. It was very therapeutic.

 

So I got a text from her last night saying she was shocked didn't know what to say thanking me profusely for them and saying she couldn't accept the ring it was too expensive etc. So I said please keep it she said no. And I realised that she was trying to turn the situation into a negative one, she actually began trying to argue. It was like she needed to justify to herself all over again what a bad person I waswho always does wrong.

 

So you know what I did? The old me before I'd healed would have saud how can u not care about me why don't you love me why don't you want the ring. But the new me simply said " I respect your choice I will take it back I won't let it spoil the message in the videos"

 

She went on to ask about my boy, which I was very vague, I asked how she was etc and she said I'm just me, been gardening. That's it.

 

She never gardens! The text ended with her telling me she was proud of me and if anyone can help my son I can.

 

So how do I feel? What did I expect? Hobestly, I actually feel quote sorry for her. She still has an inability to show me any emotion at all. I made a couple of jokey comments and she just showed nothing. It was like she was talking to a distant cousin. She didn't ask anything about me just my boy. And all that did was make me realise she really doesn't care. Or maybe she does, and that's why she is so cold. Whatever the reason a few weeks ago I'd have been devastated by it but now.. I can move on.

 

I have my closure. I have the power. I have in effect had the last word. Have that m, you have lost someone who travelled the country to remind u how good it was and end in a good way. So now I walk away, head held high, that I didn't end it begging pleading. I took the power back. You know what il probably never hear from her again, luckily I'm not in work for a while and when I am il be leaving the job in a couple months. While I'm there il be polite with a hello that is all. And if she did ever text il be telling her I don't want any friendship, something I stupidly begged for a few weeks back. No. I won't accept less than what I deserve.

 

And when I get that ring left on my desk. I will calmly put it away.

 

So to anyone who thinks u may need to do something to help you. I say go for it. But give it some nc first. I'm not healed, I still love her think about her. But this has made me see, someone who can turn such a nice gesture into making an argument andbeing cold doesnt deserve me. Most girls would love that. And I now feel I can move on clear in the knowledge that I ended it well and did all I could, in the right way.

 

Good luck everyone, it may be over, but you can still have it your way.

[m011d402]

Update - She emailed me today saying that she showed her friend the ring and her friend loved it. Also telling me she didnt want to become attached to it so had to give it bac and when would she see me in work again. In addition said shes not strong enough to deal with her Mum being ill and telling me that she is so thankful i helped her with a piece of work at our work as its really helped her.

 

Nothing to suggest shes coming back to me.. but i feel alot better