Deceptive Mind Games

[Penseur]

Okay, so my ex and I had a major event occur about 3 weeks ago. We never really got back close to each other after this single event. That is to say, we both started emotionally checking out, even though we didn't officially break it off.

 

Well, it became official about 1 week ago. I did the official breaking up, but in my opinion, she did it through her actions. Anyway, I became lonely and desperate after 3 days, and tried to contact her, asking for reconciliation, promised changes, etc. I regretted it the second I sent the email. She has not/did not respond and it has been 3 days since that point.

 

Anyway, today I was at my work (on my day off) just picking up some boxes because I am packing up my belongings and moving to a relative's home in another city while graduate school is adjourned for the summer. My work schedule is completely random, so she would not know that I did not have to work, unless of course she called in and asked or spied to see if my car was in the parking lot (which I doubt). Anyway, I was at my place of work for about 5 minutes getting boxes, when I see her and her friend driving, pulling into the parking lot. I work in a service retail sector, so it's normal for the public to come in. But I have never seen her in there when I worked and we were together.

 

Why would she do this, after I sent her my letter? She seemed happy and talkative on the exterior, pretending not to notice me, but I know she did, it was very apparent. I also could sense that she was jarred emotionally by the situation. Or perhaps it is in my imagination since she ignored my letter.

 

I'd love to have some insight into this. Am I just driving myself insane? It was pretty hard seeing her, I'll admit that.

 

Also, I just moved to my current city 9 months ago to begin graduate school. Unfortunately, we are in the same program at the same school, so I'll have to see her regularly when school starts up, for at least the next two years. Does anyone have any insight in how to deal with it all when you are forced to encounter your ex? NC is basically out the window.

[Keyman]

Only she knows why she was there and going out of your mind trying to come up with reasons is not going to help you in the least. If anything, it will continue driving you insane.

 

The email you sent is a pretty standard event after a break up and is one of the 5 steps to a break up (or 7 depending on which you read).

 

The having school together will be a tougher one. I would suggest that you take some time over summer to distance yourself in your mind from her. You are broken up, so get used to it and try to get over her as best as you can. Then when you come back, ask her to lunch and make it obvious to her in the asking that you want to talk to her about having to be in the same class for the next two years and how you can both make it easy on each other. Stating straight up that it is not an attempt to get back together just to find means to exist in harmony and best get over each other.