She was perfect.. been 3 months LC and still hurting terribly

[bigboy77]

Dates for 2.5 years... she was perfect when i met her... natural brown hair, innocent sweet down to earth girl. Near the end of the relationship she started to change... she dyed her hair blonde, started working at a bar, and became a cheerleader for the states football team.. all within 2 weeks these things happened. She said she didn't love me anymore and things weren't getting better so we decided to break up.

 

Its horrible.. i see her on the TV all the time.. i miss her so much... i dont understand why she would do this? she was perfect the way she was.

 

I've handled the break up very well as far as she knows. I never begged, got angry or anything. its been very low contact the last 3 months with just hey how are you etc...

 

* * * * this is brutal... its like she went from being the perfect girl for me.. into the stereotype of every guys dream. I hate thinking about all the guys hitting on her.. and i hate thinking about all the terrible choices she is going to make under all these new social pressures... and most of all I HATE seeing someone i love and care for messing her life up and making terrible decisions.

[lavenderdove]

Well, i'm not sure that getting a job at a bar and becoming a cheerleader messes her life up or is a terrible decision. Perhaps you want a girl next door type, and who she wants to be is someone different than that. Perhaps the person she really is is how she is living now. Not everyone wants to settle down young. And if she's young, people do change a lot at that age and frequently grow apart, so perhaps this is just a natural progression for both of you... You want different things in life that she does.

 

There are TONS of natural brunettes who are sweet and down to earth girls... try to just focus on that and start getting out and making friends rather than trying to stuff the blonde genie back in the bottle so to speak... your ex is out there finding out who she is, and apparently it is just someone different than you want her to be.

[bigboy77]

Thank you for your reply lavender. You speak truth. I feel she is making bad decisions because all the media influences of how to be an act seem to have sucked her in. She parties so much now.. and its just not healthy. She was original when I met her and now she's just another carbon copy of every other lost girl. It's like she is trying to be someone she is not. But yeah she is young... she has a lot of mistakes to make.. just sucks i got caught up in her wake.

[lavenderdove]

^^

People do what they want to do... and obviously she is having fun doing this or she wouldn't be doing it. Many young people go thru a phase where they just want to have fun and party, but they outgrow it. You may see this as 'lost', but for her it may just be a stop on the road.

 

But clearly she is going a different direction than you are at this point in your life, and most people don't marry the person they meet in high school or college, and if they do, there are frequently early divorces too because one or the other feels they never had a chance to experience their youth having fun and resent being tied down.

 

So just have fun and date a lot of different girls until you find someone who is like minded and also it is the right time to settle down for both of you.