He's moving on... So why can't I?!?

[HE16]

The ex felt it appropriate to send me a text saying good morning last week. We very briefly texted about his cancelled exam and he pushed me to go online because he'd 'been googling.' his message was quite innappropriate considering we'd broken up and he didn't take my reply very well... I think it could have seemed to him very insulting and he told me 'just because I dumped you doesn't mean you have to turn into a * * * * * all of a sudden' and went offline. He hasn't spoken to me since. I did send a text apologising as soon as i realised how cruel I may have soundedt to no reply.

 

Stupidly, I sent him a message yesterday asking how he was and I got upset when he didn't reply. I only sent it as I was in the middle of nowhere for a week for a family reunion and I was desperate for some conversation! I got back today and saw on facebook he's beentagged holding hands with the girl who supposedly had nothing to do with our break up. Great, that's another lie he's told and another promise broken.

 

I know that I will find someone else, eventually, but I wish he would come back it hurts so much that he used to hate this girl and now they're together... I was so paranoid about her and he told me to stop being silly. He's moved on so quickly (he spent a night with this girl three days after dumping me but said it was just because they were both drunk) and with the person he promised he wouldn't! He's a b@stard who seems to be enjoying the single life and she gets around more times than I've had hot dinners.

 

How do I forget? Quickly? I can do better but.. I don't want to do better. Even though he quite obviously doesn't give a * * * * about me anymore.

[Eocsor]

Go no contact and the rest is time and attitude. You have to want to get better and even with that it may take awhile depending on how significant the relationship was. There are no shortcuts to healing, you have to go through the pain. Hang in and it will get better.

[HE16]

Done the NC part, haven't spoken to him for a week now.

 

Stupidly looked at his blog today though, with all of his declarations of love. "I'll love you forever, I promise" type thing.

 

It does upset me since he's now using the thing to suck up to this new * * * * * ... Although it's kind of amusing. He's big on shooting, fishing etc. and she's a vegan. So of course, he's decided to go all "save the planet!" and I can't wait until she discovers the animal skeletons he keeps around (he was pretty weird) and that he kills for fun.

[hello678]

Unfortunately there is no quick sollution, it takes time. I know your impatient for the hurt to go away but the longer you stay in communication the worse it will get.

 

go complete no contact and start counting the days.

[hello678]

Done the NC part, haven't spoken to him for a week now.

 

Stupidly looked at his blog today though, with all of his declarations of love. "I'll love you forever, I promise" type thing.

 

It does upset me since he's now using the thing to suck up to this new * * * * * ... Although it's kind of amusing. He's big on shooting, fishing etc. and she's a vegan. So of course, he's decided to go all "save the planet!" and I can't wait until she discovers the animal skeletons he keeps around (he was pretty weird) and that he kills for fun.

 

See that care about him and her?

 

let it go. You can't let it bother you if they are sole mates or will crash and burn. It doesn't matter. You have to be at one with the pain, move to no contact and start putting the weeks and months inbetween you.

[HE16]

I saw him today. I wish I had gone NC right from the start; I've realised that he isn't a good person to keep in my life and whatever happens with him and his new girl will happen, regardless of how much I torture myself over it. If he wants to have anything to do with me then he knows how to contact me, but if he does (which he won't) I doubt I will reply. I hope for my own sake, I don't.

[ChellyV]

I saw him today. I wish I had gone NC right from the start; I've realised that he isn't a good person to keep in my life and whatever happens with him and his new girl will happen, regardless of how much I torture myself over it. If he wants to have anything to do with me then he knows how to contact me, but if he does (which he won't) I doubt I will reply. I hope for my own sake, I don't.

 

Correct. Let this be your motto beginning today. Go NC, stick NC. Resist the urges. Develop self control, in the meantime, develop good habits - exercising, reading, volunteering. Eventually he will just be a distant memory.

[Silverbirch]

I feel for you HE. The guy is a jerk and not worthy of your love.

[hausser]

Correct. Let this be your motto beginning today. Go NC, stick NC. Resist the urges. Develop self control, in the meantime, develop good habits - exercising, reading, volunteering. Eventually he will just be a distant memory.

 

Solid advice here. I got sucked back into communicating with the ex last week, after over 30 days of NC when I felt GREAT, and predictably, she started playing games again. I then did a final cut off, and feel roughly like I did in week 2 of NC, all over again, sad, lonely and depressed.

 

I am now an advocate of strict NC unless they expressly tell you they want a recon, and even then it's debatable.

[BriMarie]

I agree with Hausser...all of us who struggle with these feelings and trying to keep NC, if our ex were to come back, can you really put your faith in someone who hurt you (sometimes repeatedly) and just allowed you to continue hurting? Is that a person you want to build the rest of your life around? It's so hard to let go but think of the millions of other guys/girls out there and try to convince yourself there is not someone better than your ex out there waiting...