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my breakup story. not a typical one ... can I have your advice?


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Hi there,


My ex girlfriend broke up with me about two weeks ago.

We've been 7 months together.

She gave me 3 STD's, but loving her still I stayed with her. (she didn't know she had them ... it was silent).

For the last 4 months it was hell. I got into a really depression mode and neglected her.

She's all optimistic and I saw everything in the bad way (can I be blamed if every once in a while I'm getting new stuff on my pubic area?).

We didn't have sex in months.


She said the reason is that she doesn't know if she feels love and that we don't match up. Added that we don't do any more fun stuff.


I was a jerk, I admit it, although she isn't snow white either.


The following day I called on her telling her I had the whole day to think this through, and that she and I do match up. This is just bad times, and I don't want to use the same way of behavior as I did. There are other ways of handling the situation. I tried to remember her we had some really great time together when I wasn't depressed (I'm getting out of it now .. too late I suppose).

She told me she would think this over, and 1 week ago she called to say that she doesn't know if "us" is important to her, and that she didn't have time to think about it (we're undergoing end of semester exams).

I told her that I'm not gonna wait for an answer and she agreed, not before telling me that she doesn't know if she wants to completely break-up or stay and together to work this through, and that she's having trouble sleeping.

"I honestly don't know.." she said.


That was the our last talk.


I believe that it's a pressuring time for her to know what to do, as she told me that if we do get together again she won't completely be there, and that I don't deserve it.

The exams are over this weekend, and I thought on waiting for another week or so before initiating contact.


I must assure you that I do make this time of NC to do my thinking even more, and I am getting out of the depression. I definitely don't want to handle the situation like I did with her.


I'm important to her, I know it. I know her.

I want to make her see this not as a second change, but as a new relationship, just like when we first began dating.


Though, I think NC is good. Every bad emotions she might had needs to get cooled off..

1 week of NC is not enough though, and another is needed after the exams are over.


What I'm asking you is how do you think I should approach her ?

I mean, I do want to show her that I don't need her, because I am getting better and I'm healing just right, but rather I want her.

The end of this nightmare is within sight, and I want her with me.

I want to show her that I agree with the breakup, as THAT relationship is not something I want to get together to. That relationship is DEAD.

I want a new one with her.


Should I be calling her with a straight forward asking her casually to have a coffee with me ?

Or should I try this "look at me, how well I'm doing" type of call (and get interested in her doings also of course) ?


What would you advice me ?


Thanks in advanced!

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She gave you 3 std's and your still interested? that would be a automatic deal breaker for me.


No matter how much you try and put the past behind you it takes a lot to start a fresh, I'm not sure if I have much more advice for you.

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