My mom and dad do not approve of my boyfriend.

[nicky8989]

Hey all, i need some good advice right about now! I have about had it with my parents.

 

My boyfriend and i have been serious for about 10 months. We will be getting engaged in the near future and we both know we are 'the ones' for each other.(hes 24 i am 21)

A little background info: My bf is not 'hot' or 'super cute' by any means. I know this, though i AM very attracted to him, its more for his personality and such, not based on looks. Hes only about 2-3 inches taller than me, weighs much less than me and isnt my 'normal' type of guy( i usually date big football player type of guys).

 

Because of 'the way he is', i guess, my parents really dont approve of him. They think i can do better, make little comments about him that try to get at me. I have dated some real jerks in the past, and i guess they prefer i get treated like crap rather than a princess. Just tonight, my bf and i were having dinner with my parents and he offers to help me cut something because i had wrist surgery about 3 months ago and it still hurts from time to time. I later heard from my brother that my dad had called my bf 'a wuss' for giving in to help me. Its things like that. They just say stuff to jab at me and him, like "hes too quiet he seems socially awkward". YEA most people are weird around their gf's parents, its not like hes going to be the party guy around my parents! Plus some people are just quiet? I have told them that this is a permanent thing, but they seem to brush it off. Im so tempted just to never let them into our lives in the future. Just for the record as well, ALL of our friends, mutual or not, are completely in favor of our relationship. My friends from the past especially, they have said they have never seen me happier than now!

 

I DO NOT, DO NOT, DO NOT, i repeat, DO NOT want a relationship like my parents in the future. If they were even close to stable, i would consider what they are saying. My mother is depressed and bipolar because of her life with my dad, and my dad likes to be belligerent and walk all over everybody. To be honest, i think he was mad tonight because he got 'shown up' by someone who is actually considerate and takes care of me. My bf has never even raised his voice to me. Im not trying or going out of my wat to pick a guy completely opposite from my dad, but so far my bf IS the opposite, and i think thats great. My mom may or may not be jealous, i dont know.

 

I have NOT told my bf about all this. Hes just the sweetest guy, it would crush him. Im just not sure why my parents cant see that im HAPPY for once, as opposed to with all my ex's they had to see me crying on my floor every night because they were such jerks. I dont know what to do at this point. Any help?!

[mouseno4]

Parents always don't like what their children bring home. How they can always do better. But, they eventually relent in the end.

[chitown9]

It sounds like you are still living in your parents' home? What is the time period between now and the marriage? ( I am trying to determine how long you will have to endure this)...chi

[superfox]

You need to stay calm, act like an adult and they'll see you as an adult. Ask them whether they love you, when they say yes then ask then whether they'd rather you were with a man who respected and loved you or one that treats you like crap but can throw a football*.

 

My dad barely knows where the kitchen is, has never had to fix his own food and I don't think he's ever made a cup of tea/coffee. He was embarrassed (for himself) when my bf did the washing up (with my eldest son) after my mum had

cooked a meal.

 

He needs to accept your choice of partner, you need to tell him how happy you are and how you don't want to spend your life being a doormat - without mentioning your mum

 

*or whatever it is you Americans do with a football

[Kishiko]

Trust me this is normal. My dad was going to kill me when I had a BF.

Your parents will get use to it after awhile. Just let them get to know

him or do what I did keep your boyfriend a secret lol!