Sometimes I worry I will be a bad kisser

[twentiesgirl86]

If you've read previous posts from me, you'll know I don't have much relationship experience. If not, well I've kissed two guys and I will be 25 soon. The first guy I kissed was disgusting. He drooled in my mouth, and pretty much devoured my face. However, I kept kissing him even though I was grossed out because I was 21 years old and never kissed anyone. So I wanted to do some kissing, even though it was disgusting. The second guy I kissed, was as inexperienced as me so neither of us knew what we were doing. He was definitely better than the first guy (no drool) but we bumped noses, and he bit me by accident. However, he was also my summer fling so I figured we could work on it, plus I loved how he was inexperienced since he couldn't judge me.

 

Well, I haven't kissed any guy since then (although according to one guy I did when I was drunk but I don't remember it), and that was three years ago. Both happened when I was 21. I've been on dates, but nothing has come out of it. I often hear people talk (guys and girls) about how kissing can be the deal breaker. If someone isn't a good kisser, then chances are they don't want to go out with them again. So whenever I get advice like: "Oh, no one will care about the kissing, if the guy really likes you then it won't matter to him." I really can't take it seriously. Especially since I was instantly turned off by the guy I first kissed, and I thought he was gorgeous before then, plus he was funny and a nice guy. However, after that I didn't want to kiss him ever again. So I know when people give that kind of advice they are just trying to reassure me or something. In any case, I don't believe it.

 

The one guy I really like shared a similar story. He really liked this girl after a few dates. She was beautiful, they had a good connection and everything. He liked spending time with her. However, she was a bad kisser. He gave her a few chances, but everytime he was turned off and felt awkward with her everytime. He didn't want to tell her she was a bad kisser either, so eventually he just stopped seeing her. I've heard other people tell other stories like that. So since I've only kissed two guys, one who was a bad kisser and the other was inexperienced I don't know if I am any good.

 

I've read up on kissing techniques, but I think everyone knows that reading about something (doesn't matter what) is easier than actually doing. So whenever I like a guy, I get worried about telling them because I worry I might be a bad kisser. Although that's not my only reason for not telling people I like them. There are other reasons, but that's for other posts.

 

So how do you know if you're bad or not? I am going to be 25 soon, so it's not like I am 14 where people might be more understanding. I have no experience with relationships at all. I am worried I could be like the girl in my guy friend (and my crushes) story. A guy could really like me, but be turned off by my kissing. I really want to get in a relationship someday, I have enough problems with it as it is. So if I finally do find a guy who actually likes me back (which is rare) I don't want to wreck it by not being able to kiss.

[mouseno4]

Different strokes for different folks. What one guy thinks is good is not for another.

[ProtestTheHero]

This is one of those things where even if you kiss 500 guys the 501st will be different and have his own approach, so lack of experience isn't really a big deal.

[AbombSnowMan]

well you can already recognize whats bad (drooling and devouring face) so just don't do that and you'll be fine. Thats pretty much what most people mean by bad kissing. Bumping noses or whatever can happen to any new partners getting used to eachother, which could take some time but unless the kissing is REALLY BAD (like the 1st guy) then dont worry about people dumping you over it