A Theoretical question, Would an ex lie about a rebound?

[Chuck Bartowsk]

You will have to bear with me as I am in process and this forum has been very helpful for me to reconcile with ME! That said, I still love my ex and I miss her very much. I also know that she still loves me as well.

 

When we split she had set up a profile on a dating website and ended up meeting someone a week after the breakup. She went out with him and I spoke to her a week later she said she had removed her profile and that she was going to continue dating this guy. I of course checked and sure enough she had taken it down. fast forward another week and I was talking with a friend on the phone about the breakup and I was online as well. A gut feeling came over me to check the dating site and yep, you guessed it, her profile was back up. A few days later I even saw she was "online now" so I know she was checking it. Well a week later I ended up talking to her but didn't mention the profile. I did go through the motions of asking her if we could work things out but she restated she was involved with someone. 2 weeks go by and yes her profile is still up. And we end up talking again and although she is impressed with the changes I am making she still says she is in a relationship with this guy. There were a few things said that lets me know she still thinks about me but we know that don't mean squat right now. Now the thought has occurred to me several times that she may just be lying about the "relationship" to get a reaction out of me. I was a church today (we both attended this church but she has not gone back since the BU) and one of our friends said that she was probably not seeing anyone and that she was just doing her own soul searching and dealing with her pain. I just don't know at this point what to think. Any dumpers out there that did this to shake the dumpee up enough to change themselves for the better? This would be an overstated version of tough love.

[GotMyLifeBack]

A general rule of thumb: the behavior of two people who were once a couple may have little resemblance to their behavior when they were together. Don't be surprised by anything.

[Chuck Bartowsk]

So, Are you saying that my theory may hold water? After all, she is a psychologist and her passion is studying human behavior.

[sunnz]

Well I once left a rebound...and when he came back after about 6 months of silence and asked to meet...I had lied and said my boyfriend would not like that...when I didn't even have one...I did it so he would not contact me again...I had left him because he started getting *comfy* and not putting any effort in anymore...sort of I have her now...it turned me off...

 

I think you need to just let some space come in between you both...I'm not sure if you have already done that...you might do further pushing away if you keep trying to find out things from her friends...they will tell her everything you know lol

[nsomnia912]

Sounds like holding onto hope....

 

If she's on a dating site and in fact dating...she's dead in the water in my book. If she's doing it to get a.reaction then its not love...love is not stupid game playing..

 

I say grieve the breakup don't investigate her actions and move on with your life.

 

I dont think she s game playing. If she is a psychologist and is using her education to mess around that would just be unethical...and certainly not worth having in your life...

 

Either was wipe your hands clean of this mess.

[Chuck Bartowsk]

Actually I am at 2 weeks NC and have no intention of contacting her. I am letting her have all the space she wants. She knows how to get in touch if she wants to. Although I would love it if she were to call and ask if we could work on reconciling, I am doing this for me, God has stripped me of all that was important to me so i believe He wants my undivided attention. Well, He has it now.