He didn't call.. was I right to be upset?

[XkatieX]

My boyfriend called me last night and said he may come round later but he would call me if he was.. and he would call me even if he wasn't.

I waited till about midnight and he still hadn't called. So I began to worry and throughout the night probabaly called him about 8/9 times and no reply. Now im really worried that something may have happened. Finally he calls me at about half 3 in the morning, after hours for my worrying, and he tells me he went out (even though he's always moaning at me he had no money)

So im happy I know he's ok, but angry he went out and didn't let me know.

we just had a full blown arugument about and and he said he didn't want to tell me because he thought I would be angry that he was going out. But all I wanted to know was that he was ok so I could sleep in peace. Now hes saying hes had enough and he feels like he can't do want he wants. I never want to stop him from going out with his friends, but I don't think he believes that. I know I over reacted but I was worried about his saftey.

How can I make this right? I feel awful for mentioning it to him now, but I felt so angry he didn't call to let me know

[Stay_home]

He should've answered, I agree.

 

Don't call 8 or 9 times next time. Once or twice and leave a message. But I agree with you that he was definitely out of line for not keeping you posted that there was a change of plans.

[XkatieX]

I still don't think I have done wrong, but now we have had such an arugment over it, it just wasn't worth it

I don't want to break up, he means so much to me, but now I don't know whats best to do

[annie24]

99% of the time, they are not in a hospital or on a ditch. They're out getting drunk with their buddies at the bar.

 

I would spend some time and consider if this is the kind of man you want to be with - goes out to bars when he doesn't have money, doesn't make concrete plans with you and keeps you wondering until 3 AM if he is coming over or not. I'm sorry, I don't want to be woken up in the middle of the night by my boyfriend who may or may not be stumbling into bed drunk. no thanks. i want my beauty sleep.

[annony]

My bf fails to tell me about changes in plans all the time! I think it's a guy thing, they just don't consider that someone might be worrying about them.

I have found that making sure he knows he isn't going to catch heck from me for changing the plans helps him understand that it's important just to let me know.

If he think's I'm going to be upset about something, he won't tell me. I just never react with anger or annoyance when he tells me he's going to be a couple hours late, I just thank him for letting me know. He's learning.

[Stay_home]

If you know your other half is up late waiting on you, be courteous enough to let them know that you're in safe. It's got nothing to do with a power struggle or being dominated by them; it's a courtesy. They could be sleep, but they're up late waiting on you to get in safely so the least you can do is be considerate enough to let them know either you're home or its been a change of plans.

[annie24]

I agree - it's very disrespectful and inconsiderate. I don't understand why some people think it's ok. My rule is that you should treat your SO at least as well as you would treat your boss or coworkers. You would never be late to a meeting with your boss or coworkers without letting them know first. Or if you can't make it, you would let them know. You would never leave them hanging. So why would you do that to your SO?

[mouseno4]

I am hopeless when it comes to people leaving me a message. Weeks later i finally listen to my messages. If it was important, they would call back another time.

[ink]

Bf sounds shady,if he had plans to see u its not kool he went other wise. you sound like a very kind hearted girl who deserves better.